The Balloon Boy TV Theme Songs, or What Not To Do Right Now

​And so there is this, the revelation that after perpetrating a massive hoax at the cost of untold man hours, public resources, and our collective media dignity, the Heene still has so much more of our innocence left to take. TMZ's never-ending exhumation of maddeningly terrible Balloon Boy ephemera continues with today's totally gratuitous unleashing of "The Psyience Detective" and "The Contractor," two unendurable television theme songs written and put to tape by this clan's contemptible patriarch in the waning days of 2005. To the tune of what I believe in the first case to be "Hash Pipe," and in the second, "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)." Or whatever--who the fuck knows. Those who are not paid like your intrepid correspondents to listen to at least half of a quarter of each song are strongly advised to do something else with the next eight minutes of your life. [TMZ]