John Mayer: "My Dick Is Sort Of Like A White Supremacist"

Dude you mispelled "SVU"

​Let it be known that John Mayer's candid-interview game is unstoppable right now. Hot on the heels of his bonkers TMI orgy of a Rolling Stone cover story ("The Joshua Tree of vaginas" and so forth) comes an in-depth chat with friend-of-SOTC Rob Tannenbaum for none other than Playboy. And while John reliably holds forth on masturbation ("There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed") and his celebrity dalliances ("If Jennifer Aniston knows how to use BitTorrent I'll eat my fucking shoe"), the interview's most remarkable exchange dabbles in race relations:

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, "What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?" And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, "I can't really have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.'"

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It's making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that's seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you'll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude's.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick.

PLAYBOY: Let's put some names out there. Let's get specific.

And then he gets specific. (Get at him, Kerry Washington.) "Fuckin' David Duke cock." Delightful. Toure is displeased. Byron Crawford offers a tentative co-sign. Only one man can break the tie.