The Would-Be Bankrobber Who Attempted to Impersonate Paul Simon Was "Depressed," Cops Said

"A con man trying to impersonate Paul Simon was arrested for trying to take money out of the singer's bank account," reports the Post. Though the man, named Rafael Ramos, had the singer's social security and bank account numbers, "the teller became suspicious after realizing the suspect is 10 inches taller and 14 years younger than the 5-foot-3, 68-year-old Simon." Because the only thing more unlikely than impersonating a really famous person in the town in which he lives is impersonating one of the shortest humans currently alive. "He was charged with attempted larceny," according to the paper, "but was taken to a hospital after telling the arresting officers he was depressed, cops said." Dude's putative big score? $4,300. So not worth it once Tony Soprano and Bobby Baccalieri hear about this. [NYP]