Princess Superstar Will Give You A Lapdance For $10,000

"Excellent Health and Nutrition Advice" a bargain at $60

​Aficionados of gleefully porn-y electro-rap, rejoice: The inimitable Princess Superstar (remember "Bad Babysitter"? You should!) is recording a new album. This being 2010, the major-label system is not exactly an option, and so join us now for the most elaborate and bizarre album-fund-raising venture in gleefully porn-y electro-rap history.

Yes, it's a Kickstarter-esque online campaign, but get a load of this shit: "I thought very deeply about how I can engage directly with you and also offer you exclusive items and experiences that you would normally NEVER be able to get hold of," our heroine explains. "Some of these are very intimate, some are educational and fun, and one is WILD AND SEXY AS HELL!!! Ooh la la!"

And so: You can just buy the record in advance ($10). Or get a rap lesson ($50). Or nutritional advice ($60). A personal yoga lesson ($75). A thrift-store makeover ($150). Clothing worn in the "Bad Babysitter" video ($200). (That better not be, like, socks.) A cooked dinner at your place ($600) or hers ($750). A total, non-thrift-store makeover ($2,500). And, yes, climactically, for the low low price of $10,000, a full-blown "PRIVATE BURLESQUE STRIP-TEASE!!!!!!" Three of those left, kids. 55 days left. Operators are standing by.