The Top Ten Rap Songs About Four Loko
5. L. Boogie, Skoo Boi, LMKR Killa Kam, "Four Loko"
Like F.Y.I.'s "Four Loko," this "Four Loko" is straight jerk music. The beat is minimal, the rapping is lighthearted and the phrase "Crack the Four Loko" is repeated for the hook. Kam dominates the track with couplets like "Watermelon, fruit punch, lemonade, raspberry/ My little bro took a sip, now his whole chest hairy," and also includes his AIM screen name in the YouTube video. Thus he was able to confirm that his favorite flavor is Cranberry (I prefer Cranberry-Lemonade) and clown me for never drinking more than two in one night.
4. Gwop Starz, "Four Loko"
By far the most consistent song thus far, Gwop Starz's "Four Loko" contains verse after verse of unique Loke raps. The chorus starts with a familiar rap trope--"Sippin on some purple"--but then distinguishes this purple as the uva flavor of Loko. In fact, these rappers are explicit about their preference for Four Loko over other bodega staples (Camo, Joos, Hurricane, beer in general) and include the prescient lines, "Watchu sippin on I got that Four Loko/ My mind's so throwed and I'm watching for the Po-po."
3. "First Annual 'Four Loko Rap Battle'"
Is "First Annual 'Four Loko Rap Battle' technically a rap song about Four Loko? Well, no, but it deserves inclusion for its bizarre creativity and adoration of Four Loko. It's hard to imagine what's going on here without watching the video, but essentially a man with gold sunglasses and a Kimbo Slice beard hosts and records a rap battle between the different Four Loko flavors, then does the voice of each of those flavors as well as that of the referee, who is represented as a can of Bud Light Lime. Things get nasty when Fruit Punch accuses Blue Raspberry of not actually containing 12% ABV.
2. Ricosuave, "So Loko (4 Loko Anthem)"
When it comes to rapping about Four Loko, no one is on Ricosuave's level right now. Every verse is spit with an intensity and attention to detail that proves his supreme dedication to the drink. Although Four Loko has come under attack in the last few months, its existence can be justified simply for inspiring the couplet: "I know Jesus turned water into wine / But he woulda turned it to Four Loko at a party of mine."
1. Gwop Gang, "Four Loko"
The Gwop Gang's "Four Loko" has come the closest to actually serving as an unofficial Four Loko anthem (its million-plus YouTube hits put it far above any competitors), and that distinction is well-deserved. The group's swag rap provides the closest representation of the Four Loko experience yet achieved in song. Anyone drinking or preparing to drink a can or two will enjoy the call-and-response hook, and experienced Loko drinkers will take pleasure in picking up on subtleties like the play on the "We I.D." badge printed on the back of the can. "We turned Loko into the new Rosé," one of the rappers says in a behind the scenes video. That might not be totally true, but they did provide an unmatched accompaniment for the rise of the drink that finally helped us overcome the loss of Sparks+. What's next for the Gwop Gang? If this video is any indication, a song in honor of Ralph Lauren might be in the works.
Honorable Mentions: Lovek, "Four Loko"; Fese, "The Official Four Loko Song"; Giddy Gouda, "Four Loko"; Baby-T, "I'm Four Loko Sippin"; V.I.P., "Four Loko"; Young Dooby, Mag-Niff and El Nino, "Four Loko."