American Idol, Season 10, "Idols Week" Elimination: Someone Teach Adam Lambert How To Dougie

asthon jones.jpg
You've befouled Diana Ross' good name for the last time, Ashthon. Credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX.
Ashthon Jones got sent home from American Idol tonight. I am perfectly OK with this! She was not very good on this show! In her final performance, she once again bleated her way through a Diana Ross song that she just shouldn't be singing.

Of course, the show still needed a full hour to give us this tiny little shred of information. So we got a montage about the mansion where they're all living, another montage about how they all went to see Red Riding Hood, one of those goofy Ford commercials, performances from Adam Lambert and Diddy-Dirty Money, and of course, the whole usual rigmarole where Ryan Seacrest draws out the results as long as he possibly can. But that whole deluge of bullshit did manage to teach me a few things:

-- Casey Abrams wasn't on the show because he was hospitalized with some unknown ailment. That guy keeps getting sick! This is not good! He's one of my two or three favorites on the show and picking up steam, so I'd hate to see some kind of flesh-eating bacteria hold him back.

-- When he's walking around the American Idol mansion, Scotty McCreery wears his hat upside-down and backward, which is not a look I've seen anyone attempt since the jock kids in my high school got sick of it. Carry the fire, McCreery!

-- Ford sponsored the pool table at the Idol mansion. There's a gigantic Ford logo right in felt. You'd think that would fuck up shot alignment.

-- At the Red Riding Hood premiere, Lauren Alaina gets star-struck over Shiloh Fernandez. She is the only person on the face of the earth who even knows who Shiloh Fernandez is. Possible exception: Shiloh Fernandez's mom.

-- All the Idol contestants had a great time going to the Red Riding Hood premiere. Holy shit, I guess I better see that movie!

-- Adam Lambert has a guy in his backing band who looks like he got kicked out of AFI four years ago and still hasn't gotten over it.

-- Acoustic performances are not a good look for Adam Lambert.

-- The message of Adam Lambert's song "Aftermath" is the most important thing about it, according to Adam Lambert. I have no idea what the message of Adam Lambert's song "Aftermath" is.

-- Adam Lambert does not know how to Dougie.

-- Skylar Grey is suddenly on every single rap song. I'd really like to take hip-hop back to the time before Skylar Grey was on every single rap song.

-- Even Diddy can't really make priest collars work.

-- For reasons totally unrelated to the priest collar, Diddy looks a lot like Kirk Franklin tonight.

-- "Coming Home" may be a genuinely emotive song, but it's always going to sound goofy when Diddy does live it on TV. His last Idol appearance, where he commanded the audience watching at home to get up and dance and probably triggered a few epileptic seizures with his strobe-light abuse, was way better.

-- David Cook's version of Simple Minds' "Don't You Forget About Me," which apparently is the going-home song this season, is ass.

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21 comments
Kirk Franklin Before I Die
Kirk Franklin Before I Die

Trampled by Turtles still hold on to the top of the Billboard Bluegrass Albums chartwith Stars & Satellites. Dailey & Vincent's gospel album and Carolina Chocolate Drops' Leaving Eden complete this week's Top 10. Billboard

A Tom fan
A Tom fan

where are Tom's reviews this week?? don't listen to the haters - your reviews are the best.

Johnno
Johnno

I am 53, and even i could see, that this kid Lambert was going to be a superstar . Has made all past winners and proballly future winners look ordinary b4 you mention he did not win asked the public who they think should have one. Johnno

Terry
Terry

Wow, the author doesn't understand the message of Aftermath. And he's not even embarassed to admit it. Sad commentary on the state of commentarians today.

Dinasim
Dinasim

After Adam explain the message of Aftermath which isn't subtle at all..you're a FOOL for STILL not getting it. And acoustic performances are definitely good for him, as is any other type of performances. The man is the ultimate performer. & I don't say that Adam is good because I'm a fan, but rather I'm fan because he's that good. ETA : You seem to have problems with everybody on that stage.(?!) How are you writing in a music blog again? ETA2: Oh, wanting to watch RED RIDING HOOD?? this is a child writing this blog right..or a childish person (ish)

deb
deb

I am really tired of bloggers who put Adam Lambert's name in their articles just to catch hits. Well, here is another hit for a worthless article. All of the comments already posted here pretty much sum it up. You are dazed and confused, and need to seek another hobby.

Debg098
Debg098

I totally agree with you, deb! Well said!

WitchyWoman
WitchyWoman

Here, let me help you understand that Aftermath message you're having such trouble with:

"Gonna scream out, no more hiding. Don't be afraid of what's inside.Wanna tell you you'll be alright in the Aftermath!Anytime anybody pulls you down, anytime anybody says you're not allowed,Just remember, you are not alone in the Aftermath!"

There! I know it might be a little complicated for you, but if you just read it slowly thru a few times I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually! :)

MB
MB

Dude - the "Aftermath" lyrics aint that complicated. Rag on their simplicity if you want, I'd be able to swallow that a little more, geez. Dang I hate "clever-for-clever's-sake-only"... or an attempt at it, I should say. I'm not an uber Lambert fan, but the guy's so freakin' talented it's crazy. The song has a simple lyric, a simple (but nice) melody, and a simple message - BUT A GOOD MESSAGE, sheesh - it aint rocket science. There's nothing simple about Lambert 'though, the guy's intoxicatingly complex, and hallelujah for it!!

HugeGlambertFan
HugeGlambertFan

"intoxicatingly complex". Love that expression and so true!! I would also add "intoxicatingly handsome and hot", lol!! :D Not to mention a host of other wonderful adjectives.

Guest
Guest

Try removing your head from your poopershoot then maybe, just maybe you will understand the message behind "Aftermath".........Do the proprietors of "The Voice" pay you?

Maryannpo21
Maryannpo21

What do you mean you don't understand the song Aftermath? Are you deaf? Or just plain dumb? You are just spiteful and mean....so unlike ever gracious Adam!

glamity58
glamity58

Wow, how much more negative can you get about Lambert. He is the only reason I watched the show. He was great. Or do you expect him to go overboard every performance? Casey Abrams is a good musician but can't sing that well, so I understand where you are coming from. You can't appreciate Lambert. Let's hope we don't have another average white male winning this show again.

Tom
Tom

I don't really know how to dress, it's true. But that Nirvana shirt's a bit small; it was riding up, not tucked in. And those are Dickies shorts, not khakis, because I'm gully. And I would not know how to press a T-shirt; I just do laundry every once in a while. Thanks for reading, though!

shelbar
shelbar

I have been away for a week and apparently lost my mind since I haven't a clue what the commenter's are saying, anywho on to the show.

Paul, a diamond in the rough. That's all I can say except, hey man get a script for sinemet.Casey get better, you are a musical savant. {heard bleeding ulcer}

Adam set the bar for idol way to high, now anything after him is a let down. He kinda ruined idol for me, my expectations now are for mesmerizing vocals and out of box performances. Nothing can compare to "the season of Adam".

I still like the show and find it silly fun entertainment. I wish it was 2 hours for 2 nights plus a few hours of idols in the mansion. Survivor and Idol are my secret passions.

OMG I had to go and buy Adeles CD. Check her out. First CD I bought since Adam's FYI.

Sorry, just cant get into blabbing about Idol now. To focused on the earthquake in japan.

swarm
swarm

Tom Breihan is likely referring to Tommy Joe Ratliff because of his Jade Puget hair resemblance . You know...Adam's "loser" bass player with over 25,000 Twitter followers. Compared to Tom Breihan's 1700. LMAO. Furthermore, it's actually a compliment. Puget is a hardcore straight edge dude and would easily turn Mr. Breihan into a quivering pile of ...well never mind. Hey Tom, you're quite the fashion plate yourself there, on Twitter. With your perfectly pressed Nirvana tour shirt tucked into your perfectly pressed BELTED khaki trousers. The funniest thing about the internet is the tremendous amount of losers who blog and the public never even researches them to see what no-nothing, mundane pedestrian nobodies they really are.

Allegory
Allegory

What a unfunny trash blog. As usual. Acoustic performances aren't a good look why? Because of no makeup? If he wore makeup you'd be snarking on him anyway, and you prolly have in the past. What part of the lyrics so ~mystified you? Lastly, trashing the band members appearance? Seriously? More ignorance. Perhaps Monte Pittman, of Prong, Madonna Adam Lambert's biggest supporter and BFF? Or Isaac Carpenter of Gosling & Loudermilk? Or Tommy Joe Ratliff, the fan favorite with his own legion of women hanging on his every move & word. Regardless, every one of them is down to earth, kind and funny. None of the qualities anybody on the tired old Village Voice and it's affiliates possess. Talk about resting on your 1970's reputation!

Rip10199
Rip10199

Adam had enough makeup to paint a three story house! he wears more makeup than whole Jackson family combined!!! i did like the song he sang though

aifan
aifan

Were you watching? He didn't have any eyeliner or shadow or lipstick on. Only a little foundation.

Donna
Donna

read the lyrics for Aftermath...then you will know what it is all about...why not mention that the proceeds for Aftermath remix will go to Trevor Project..an orgination to help suicide teens ..I don't think you did your homework on this one..then again you're only a blogger, not a real journalist

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