Jessie J Continues To Try Just A Bit Too Hard

Categories: Jessie J, Video

Videos like the one for "Who's Laughing Now," by the not-quite-launched-here pop irritant Jessie J, are made for slow music-news mornings like this one—the enterprising pundit can question the wisdom of a British pop singer releasing a "fight those people who are tormenting you by breaking shit and turning fire extinguishers on your enemies" during this week of tumult for England; or she can idly wonder about the unspoken class politics of the whole thing, given that the person tasked with cleaning up the raging, bowl-cut-haired student/Jessie stand-in's messes probably has no direct hand in her schoolday tormenting; or she can sigh at the idea that we're all pretty much never leaving elementary school, are we, if videos like this where people are still living out their nine-year-old traumas are becoming the norm; or she can note that the song isn't terrible, per se, but that Jessie's bleaty voice and overall "whatevah, I-do-what-ahh-WAUUNNTT" attitude are packaged much more effectively by Eric Cartman. And at least he's, you know, supposed to be funny. Clip below.

Come back, Fred Durst, all is forgiven.

(Those of you who watched the whole way through, tell me: Why is she licking her heel at the end??? A shout-out to the foot fetishists? A contractual agreement that in every one of her videos she has to do something awkwardly sexual because it's not like her music is going to break her in America? I demand answers!)

[via Popjustice]

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Chris Molanphy
Chris Molanphy

I downloaded the album months ago and have tried playing it three or four times but can't get past the heartfelt ballad (I think it's "Big White Room") that makes me die laughing because she pronounces the word "crazy," very audibly, as "KWAY-zay." Not in a cool way, either—like she has a made-up speech impediment. Anyway, maybe phony speech impediments and ill-thought-out sexual fetishes are part of her shtick.

Barry Bailey
Barry Bailey

I'm gonna go with contractually sexual. The heel licking and boob massaging and even the food bathing were so awkwardly out of place.

And how are you supposed to take Old Jessie groping and licking interspersed with young Jessie shooting the fire extinguisher all over her classmates? I mean, the video wasn't going anywhere good in the first place, nor was the song remotely good, but is that just flat out giving up or going for broke?

Do you worry that somehow, some way, she'll pull a Ke$ha and grow on you?

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