Which Member Of Slaughterhouse Went In Hardest On On The House?

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There are two ways to tell if an upcoming album is going to be a letdown:

• When the artist starts talking about his next project before the new project even comes out. See: Common hyping up his No I.D.-helmed The Dreamer/The Believer even before Universal Mind Control was released. And what happened? UMC was easily one of the five worst things to happen to human ears. (That is not an exaggeration.)
• When the artist puts out a free project immediately before or after the album drops. See Lil Wayne putting out the mildly disappointing Sorry 4 The Wait right before the vastly disappointing Tha Carter IV.

That's why we should all temper our excitement about Slaughterhouse's upcoming major-label debut Welcome To Our House, which has been preceded by a mixtape full of non-stop bars called On The House. Chances are it'll end up being far more entertaining than the actual album; Whereas Welcome will have a few grasps for radio play and some standard major-label tropes, On The House is mostly just an endless rap orgy. Which makes it perfect for a Slaughterhouse challenge! Here's how it works: We'll give each individual rapper's performance on each song that features at least 75% of the group one to four points; the best verse gets four, the worst one. At the end, we'll average out the scores and see who Slaughterhouse'd it hardest.

1. "Back Tha F*ck Up" (Royce Da 5'9", Joell Ortiz, Crooked I)
Note that Joe Budden doesn't really show up much on this mixtape, althoug he's not missed here. Royce reprises his usual role as leadoff batter, and he demolishes the track. Oddly, Crooked I puts in an off-beat effort and stumbles out of the gate.
4 points: Royce
3 points: Joell Ortiz
2 points: Crooked I

2. "Weight Scale" (Royce Da 5'9", Joell Ortiz, Crooked I, Joe Budden)
Everyone brings it, although Joe Budden gets an immediate disqualification and point deduction for his Aurora, Colorado punchline. Crooked I recovers nicely by nudging slightly above his counterparts. He sounds rejuvenated and vicious, tearing the beat to shreds.
4 points: Crooked I
3 points: Joell Ortiz
2 points: Royce Da 5'9"
-1 point: Joe Budden

3. "All On Me" (Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Crooked I)
Budden can't outrap any of the other Slaughterhouse guys bar for bar, but emotional, personal raps are his wheelhouse. Here he talks about a lost friendship in a way that conjures his best Mood Muzik days. Joell and Crooked are neck in neck. Crooked is a little bit better, though. There aren't any real losers here, though.
4 points: Joe Budden
3 points: Crooked I
2 points: Joell Ortiz

4. "See Dead People" (Royce Da 5'9", Crooked I, Joell Ortiz, Joe Budden)
Eight minutes? Really, guys? That said, everyone throws in quotables and schizo tales. Royce just comes off like a star, sounding deranged, polished and charismatic as hell. Joell and Crooked I are again pretty much tied, with Crooked ekeing out the win for an insane rhyme scheme at the beginning of his verse.
4 points: Royce Da 5'9"
3 points: Crooked I
2 points: Joell Ortiz
1 point: Joe Budden



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