These Album Covers > Death Grips' Dick Pic
Jesus Frankenchrist, here we go again! Sacramento cacopho-rap outfit Death Grips--whose music roughly approximates the sensation of ramming your head through a plaster wall while on bath salts and blue meth, then flailing around for 45 minutes (but with bassbeats!)--put a big hairy boner on the cover of their new LP, NO LOVE DEEP WEB. Which, y'know, we totally get: How the hell are you supposed to read an album title scrawled in Sharpie across the top of a dude-piston if the words are buried within flaccid folds? You have to admire the practicality of it. If not the complete ridiculousness. We hear their label, Epic Records, was superfuckingpleased with the Mapplethorpian splendor of it all.
Problem is, Death Grips' meat popsicle didn't really entice us to explore the album's aural terror-pleasures. Instead, it pushed us off into the dim recesses of our sullied brain to think of some of the other graphic/explicit/whoa-did-they-really-do-that? album covers we've encountered over the years, then over toward the skeeziest corners of the interwebs for visual reminders. Here's a few that came to mind right away (not necessarily our "favorites," but some of the more memorable ones, anyway), a few of which definitely put Death Grips' fleshy shock-puppet to shame. NSFW after the jump.
- The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos
Yes, it's a nun fondling an erect penis, courtesy of the shadowy Finnish black metal combo Bloodhammer and their bludgeoning 2003 opus Abbedissan Saatanalliset Houreet. The indispensable Encyclopaedia Metallum reveals that the 'Hammer's go-to themes are "blasphemy," "perversions," and "Satanism" so, hey, as Meatloaf says, two outta three ain't bad! (What, they couldn't have given her a pentagram to wear in order to nail the trifecta?) Given that so many of these Scandinavian hellbeast bands get their kicks from burning down churches, it's probably best that Bloodhammer instead indulged in the same silly "naughty nun" trope that popped up in every third porno flick made between 1977 and 1985. But the thing that really got our melon twisted: Nuns are allowed to wear nail polish? Who knew?!
Actually, the Dwarves' Carrie-gone-to-Fantasy Island cover art for 1990's killer Blood, Guts & Pussy pretty much rules, because it's so hilariously fucked-up and yet strangely serene. Must be the white bunny. Or the deep sense of peace evident in the faces of these gore-splattered beauties--one that can only come from a purifying blood ritual presided over by an exuberant midget and/or that rascal Blag Dahlia. The photo was shot by lauded camera jockey Michael Lavine, who went on to famously snap Biggie Smalls standing next to a hearse for the Life After Death LP cover shortly before the rap icon was murdered. He now photographs celebs like Viggo Mortensen, Demi Lovato, Conan O'Brien, and others for hot-shit clients like Vogue and Esquire. But none of that probably would've happened without the Dwarves. This shot better be the first one in Lavine's portfolio book, as a show of gratitude.