A Look Inside Morrissey's Mind

"In the right light, people sometimes mistake me for Quentin Tarantino. Which is a shame, because who'd want to be mistaken for a washed-up hack?"

"Crap, the sweat on my palm has smeared the lyrics to 'How Soon Is Now' -- how am I gonna convince these people this boring old tune matters to me now if I can't even remember the words? Maybe one of my fans will run onstage and try to tackle me. That'd be good. If Ozzy can dump a bucket of water on himself to hide the fact that he's pissed his trousers, maybe a diversion will work for me, too."

"These people adore my David Byrne impression."

"And people think Michael Strahan and I have absolutely nothing in common."

"Oh, my dears, I know you all would like to marry me, but I'm afraid I must disappoint you. As Oscar Wilde once wrote, 'By persistently remaining single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation. Men should be more careful; this very celibacy leads weaker vessels astray.' I must admit, however, I'm feeling a tad weak this evening. Mr. Security Man -- backstage passes for all!"

[Photos by Michael Alan Goldberg]

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Other than every rapper and Madonna, is there anyone in music more annoying than this bloated, old queen?

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