12 Songs for 12/12/12
Be honest--when was the last time you heard a Modern English song that wasn't "I Melt With You"? Oh right, there's a reason for that. At first we thought maybe this song was about Chapter 12 bankruptcy which allows farmers and fishermen to reorganize their debts, but that was added to the U.S. bankruptcy code in 1986 and this tune came out in 1984 (plus they're British, so whatever they might have to say about our financial thingamabobs means fuck-all). Anyway, now we're pretty sure this song is about the "Cyclops" chapter in James Joyce's Ulysses.
We know--you're thinking, "B-b-but this stunning song's not on MY version of Gay Dad's stupendous 1999 debut album, what gives?!" Well, this was a BONUS track on the JAPANESE version, suckers! Stinks not to be able to jet over to record shops in Tokyo whenever you damn well please, doesn't it? Actually, you're probably thinking, "Who the fuck is Gay Dad?"
Insane Clown Posse
You didn't think we would get through this listicle without throwing in the winsome, literary chamber-pop of the Insane Clown Posse, did you? Well, every Juggalo we know can count to 12, so there.
The Muppets and John Denver
"The Twelve Days of Christmas"
And of course you didn't think we'd get through this listicle without THIS particular ditty, right? At least we're giving you the fucking Muppets and John Fucking Denver. If you don't like this, you're a horrible person. See you 13/13/13! Erm...