Beyoncé Isn't Perfect, and That's A Relief

There are a few people--maybe ten--who have yet to hear that Beyoncé Ashlee Simpson'd Barack Obama's inauguration. These people don't have access to tumblr or eccentric gay friends. They are still under the illusion that Beyonce is infallible. We pity these people. Because the idea that Beyoncé is perfect is a crippling load to carry. And on inauguration day, it wasn't just citizens of the United States below the Mason-Dixon Line who were utterly devastated. Beyonce fans were, too. Because it had yet to come out that her performance wasn't not flawless. Now, we too are free.

See also:

- Great Googly Moogly, This Beyonce/Lady Gaga Video For "Telephone"
- Let Us All Now Enjoy "The 10 Most Ridiculous Things About the Beyoncé Experience"

Because the revelation that Beyoncé lip-synched at the inauguration is probably the best pop-culture news we've heard since Tiger Woods' hot wife took a golf club to his car after he hole-in-one'd too many personal lady caddies. It's impossible to have a perfect life and it's dangerous to trick people into thinking otherwise. Beyoncé had a good run, and I'm sure she'll continue to sell records and look sexy and make fake babies with the King of the Illuminati. But it is for the greater good of humankind that her divine-status be stripped just as publicly as her outfits.

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She has got to be the most overhyped, overated, overexposed pop star I have ever seen. Sasha Fierce? More like Sasha Phoney! I guess you have to be gay or a teenager to be a fan. It's The Presidential Inauguration for God's sake and some fool chose you. Show up early, rehearse and nail it. Or just don't bother. I'm expecting the worst SB Halftime ever this year.

kplo moderator communitymanager

Leave Beyonce alone!

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