Fake Scott Walker's "Scream & Shout" Is Better Than will.i.am and Britney's Original

william and brit.jpeg

Scott Walker woke up one day last week (if he indeed sleeps) and decided to cover "Scream & Shout" through the body of comedian Adam Buxton. It is the best thing that has happened to the song since someone in will.i.am's recording studio said "Hey, maybe we shouldn't make this song because it's pretty shitty" but no one listened. Here are three reasons why.

See Also:
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-Will.I.Am Kickstarts The Perhaps-Inevitable Trend Of Naming Albums After Hashtags

The Title Is Taken Literally
The worst thing about the original version of "Scream & Shout" (there's just one worst thing?) is that it doesn't make anyone want to scream and shout. The song actually prompts the exact opposite reaction. It's boring and flat and the most interesting thing that happens in the music video is when Britney Spears gets shaken out of a coma-state every 30 seconds to give her signature stunned-deer twitch. It just doesn't live up to the hype.

Fake Scott Walker actually makes me want to scream and shout. His cold and ominous vocals seep through otherwise healthy ProActive™ skin like the bite of a rare poisonous spider. Fake Scott Walker hypnotizes the listener and pulls them deeper and deeper into his web, but once the urge to flee sets in, it is far too late. This new age religious occult of sound is not something to be left behind. And once Fake Scott Walker says, "Turn it up and burn the house down...Here we go, we gon' shake the ground... cause everywhere that we go we bring the action..." it is no longer a song. It is an order that must be obeyed while screaming and shouting with a group of other rabid converts.

His Weird Accent Is Real
Oh, forget the thing about how the worst part about the original "Scream & Shout" is how its title is a lie. The worst part about Scream & Shout is whatever accent Britney Spears uses to sing-talk. I don't think the country of that accents' origin exists anymore, and it probably doesn't exist anymore because it's really terrible to hear people speak that way. It's never explained, either, almost like everyone involved in the creation of this song expected people to accept the sounds coming out of her mouth without asking any questions. Luckily, Fake Scott Walker's cover offers a fresh breath of authenticity.

Real Scott Walker was born in America and emigrated to England in the 1970s and channeled himself into the body of native Englishman Adam Buxton a few days ago to make this song. So unlike Britney, his trans-Atlantic sound of schizophrenic English sing-talk is genuine and compelling. His vocal performance prompts the same question as Britneys' - "Why is this happening?" - but in the pleasant reverie of just having drank the purple cult koolaid sorta way.

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