We Made A Five-Course Meal Out of Action Bronson Raps

Categories: Action Bronson

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Flushing's own Action Bronson raps a lot about food. You know this already. We attempted to make a meal out of his words. Five courses in all. We're still full.

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So we asked ourselves: can you make an five-course gourmet meal using only foodstuffs rapped about by Bronson? The answer is: yes. And it involves so much butter, oil and animal fat, it would probably kill men from lesser cities. But this is New York (unofficial food slogan: "sack up and eat"). Let's get to work.

1. Appetizer

To make an impactful start, go with roasted bone marrow on a toasted rosemary ciabatta. As Bronson says on "Tan Lines":

Bone marrow roasted Spread it on the rosemary bread, lightly toasted Drizzle with the vinagrette Stuffed dutches and it's pulling like a cigarette

There's a good recipe here. Opening a feast with bone marrow is the "in-your-face, lick-my-gooch" culinary gesture that says "we're not doing any trippy Kendrick Lamar shit here, my friend. We're here to eat like animals stripping a carcass."

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2. Salad course

Keep diners on their toes with a total switcheroo. Move from caveman marrow consumption to a vegan delicacy: dandelion green salad. These calcium-packed weeds pack an earthy, bitter flavor, and eating them often will make your colon so powerful it could choke out a cage fighter. Bronson advised as much in "Ron Simmons":

Gypsy Salami cheese is from the cave
Wild dandelion greens dressed up on the plate
Parmesan crisp, we wildin' in marea
Doing all the drugs off of Pico and LaBrea

Serve tossed with orange slices and a fig-infused balsamic vinagrette. Hell, use real figs if you want. Notice that figs kind of look like vaginas when you open them. Coincidentally, Bronson raps about vaginas a lot, much like 100% of rappers.

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