Who or What Will Chris Brown Fight Next?

Categories: Chris Brown

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Anderson Cooper When Chris Brown's fight with Frank Ocean lands him on Cooper's "Ridicu-list" tonight, Chris Brown books a redeye flight to NYC, cabs it from JFK to the CNN offices at Columbus Circle and the two fight on set. Wolf Blitzer takes a chair to the face just before Candy Crowley and the hologram of Will.i.Am break up the scuffle. Dr. Sanjay Gupta patches up everyone's wounds. Erin Burnett says something stupid. The bald guy who talks money assesses the damage done to the studio and how much it will cost. Piers Morgan suffers massive head trauma, and dies. No one seems to mind.


Eric Benet
Frank Ocean and Drake: both sensitive, introspective men who are more lover than fighter. These are the types of guys Chris Brown likes to start fights with. Dude isn't fighting Rampage Jackson over a parking space or breaking champagne bottles over the heads of Suge Knight and his boys. The only things Chris Brown requires of those he fights are that they're 1) Perceived as being weaker 2) Outnumbered or 3) Higher up on the charts or 4) In front of him. Eric Benet doesn't meet the third criteria, but has 1) and 2) in abundance. That he has no entourage whatsoever means he's in deep shit next time he becomes 4) and he and Chris Brown find themselves at Vons in Los Angeles grabbing the last can of Progresso Creamy Tomato Basil on the shelf, which both love.

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NeNe Leaks of Real Housewives of AtlantaA one-time victim of domestic abuse, NeNe Leakes does a lot of charity work for the issue, even played for a domestic violence charity while on Celebrity Apprentice. She talks often about domestic abuse on red carpets and on Real Housewives of Atlanta, and over time Chris Brown begins to believe she's taking subtle pot shots at him. One day, while on the set of Glee to confront the cast for not dedicating an episode to his work, Brown sees NeNe, and things become violent.


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2 comments
bkoshkin
bkoshkin

Someone had to be this generation's Bobby Brown. 

kplo
kplo moderator communitymanager

That old iPhone charger totally had it coming.

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