The Completely Real, Totally Not Fake Deleted Destiny's Child Scenes From Beyoncé's HBO Doc

Categories: Beyoncé


Chapter Three: Say My Name

Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams spent most of 2008 trying to remember LaTavia, LeToya, and Farrah's names. Latavia, LeToya, and Farrah spent most of 2008 trying to unchain themselves from the radiator. Beyoncé married Jay-Z and forgot about Destiny's Children in the Attic.


Chapter Four: Crazy in Love

In 2009, Beyoncé remembered. She rushed upstairs to find the super-bored but otherwise-okay Destiny's Children. She provided them with food and water and genuine side-hugs. But she knew iit was impossible for her to keep visiting the attic without rousing suspicion from Jay-Z. She renovated.

She transformed the wood-paneled attic-abyss of Beyoncé records and stage props and weaves into a gold-pleated abyss of Beyoncé records and stage props and weaves. It was the Beyoncé Vault. It would house all things Beyoncé 'til the end of time and beyond. And it would provide her the excuse she needed to retreat to the attic on a regular basis -- alone.

After unchaining LaTavia, LeToya, and Farrah from the radiator and giving them nametags, Beyoncé relocated all of Destiny's Children to a concealed dormitory in the vault. She assigned each specific tasks related to the collection, archival, and sorting of Beyoncé paraphernalia. They were each given computers, but were only allowed to use Google Image Search: Beyoncé. It was a devastating but oft-pleasurable life.

The dreariness continued uninterrupted until a holiday visit to the mansion by Solange Knowles. Solange sensed something amiss in the life of her older sister, for it was her job to await the downfall of the Queen. Solange wandered upstairs and found Destiny's Children alone in the Beyoncé Vault. Solange was terrified, but her fright quickly turned to rage at the fact that she hadn't been offered the role of enslaved vault-keeper first. Solange pretended to befriend Destiny's Children and promised to release them from their bondage. As a sign of good faith, she brought them Christmas cookies. But they were doused in Beyoncé's personal peroxide. It was extra strength.

See also: Solange - Bowery Ballroom - 12/18

LaTavia, LeToya, and Farrah ate the cookies and died. Solange froze their bodies and placed them in the "Girls Tyme/Early Destiny's Child" section of the Beyoncé Vault. Kelly and Michelle did not notice. Two more years passed.


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2 comments
2good2leaveunow
2good2leaveunow

What trash. I suppose the Voice has really hit the skids...

krissysweety23
krissysweety23

You are an awful person to write such filth. Not to mention, kelly and michelle have wonderful careers.

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