The Completely Real, Totally Not Fake Deleted Destiny's Child Scenes From Beyoncé's HBO Doc

Categories: Beyoncé

Chapter Five: Soldier

Instead of the 2012 Apocalypse, Blue Ivy Carter was born. With a new maternal outlook, Beyoncé began training her legacy to maintain the status quo of number-one-bitchdom for the Knowles-Carter bloodline.

In between the crippling emotional beat-downs and dance-offs served by Blue Ivy Carter, Kelly and Michelle concocted a plan to escape. They were to dig a tunnel from beneath Beyoncé's mansion that stretched to the Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana- - the location Beyoncé was set to perform the Super Bowl Half Time Show the following year.

Chapter Six: Survivor

But by 2013, Kelly and Michelle had little hope left. The tunnel was taking a long time to dig. They hadn't sung a note or written a lyric or contributed to pop culture in any significant way in years. But Blue Ivy Carter grew stronger and wiser and more demonic each day. It was only a matter of time before she started Tumblr-ing their torment. Her eyes sparkled with blood lust, and it was this lust that motivated them to dig further and further and further, until finally...

The tunnel was completed.

And as if supported by the Illuminati themselves, Kelly and Michelle were catapulted up through holes in the stage in their tattered leather clothes during Beyoncé's Half Time Show performance.

Realizing that her secure vault-attic had failed, Beyoncé chose to pretend the inclusion of Kelly and Michelle in the Half Time Show performance was expected. She playfully dismissed them off stage after allowing them to lip-synch to some of her greatest hits -- for old-times' sake.

But in her banter, there was fear and sadness. The only people who ever really mattered to her, the only people truly responsible for getting her to where she is today, were fleeing from her life. She felt tears well up in her eyes. Her voice (almost) cracked. Every fiber in her being wanted to cry out for them to come back, to take their rightful places at her side.

But then her Beyoncé-shaped stage grew Beyoncé-shaped hair and Beyonce forgot all about that basic bitch emotional shit.

So anyway, Kelly Rowland showed up to The Grammy's last week looking sexy as fuck. The current whereabouts of Michelle Williams are unknown. The only remnants of their lost years in Beyoncé's attic are confined in this blog post. HBO and Beyoncé will probably have this truth removed, so Left Click + Save As this piece.

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