The Top Ten Awesomely Absurd and Absurdly Awesome Clutch Lyrics

Categories: Clutch


Throughout two decades and ten albums, D.C. rock outfit Clutch has evolved into one of the mightiest blues-rock bands around. One of the tangibles that make Clutch stand out is vocalist Neil Fallon, whose lyrical output and delivery at times borders on the edge of both awesomely absurd and absurdly awesome. With the band's new album Earth Rocker coming out this week, let's take a moment to revisit our favorite Clutch lyrics.

See also: Live: Motörhead, Clutch, And Valient Thorr Pack 'Em In At Best Buy Theater

10. "Walking In The Great Shining Path of the Monster Trucks"(1:13-1:26)
From: Transnational Speedway League (1993)
Sample lyric: Well I rolled Jesse Helms like a cigarette/ And smoked him higher than the highest of the minarets/ Jesse James couldn't even handle it /
Started looking at me like I was Sanskrit

Analysis: In a song loaded with references to crashing Cadillacs through the gates of hell and a comparison of Evil Knieval to the great scholar Virgil, it is a testament that THIS is the set of lyrics that stand out the most.

9. "The Elephant Riders" (1:21-1:45)
From: The Elephant Riders (1998)
Sample lyric: On our way to Washington where work is done by men with gavels/ I heard a sound that just about removed me from my filly's saddle/
Just outside of Antietam, where once there was a mighty battle /
I heard the rhythm of the hammers beating the rail lines together

Analysis: History lessons about the Civil War era have never been more badass.

8. "Pure Rock Fury" (0:18-0:42)
From: Pure Rock Fury (2001)
Sample lyric: Hands down the illest ventriloquist this side of the Mississippi River/ That's right operator smoother than faders on an automated sound board / Andretti's never raced me but if he wants to oh I'm ready / Coordination of the eye and hand is not my strong point but I make due with what I have
Analysis: We really hope that the ventriloquist brings his dummy to ride shotgun when he gets around to racing Andretti.

7. "Burning Beard" (0:12-0:50)
From: Robot Hive / Exodus (1995)
Sample lyric: Every day I wake up we drink a lot of coffee and watch the CNN/ Every day I wake up to a bowl of clover honey and let the locusts fly in /
Lobsterbacks attack the town again / Wrap all my things in aluminum/ Beams of darkness streak across the sky / Pink rays from the ancient satellite

Analysis: The British have attacked! Of course the proper procedure is to protect all of your belongings from the surveillance satellites.

See also: The Clutch Rocks-Off Boat Cruise

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

too many crazy lyrics to choose from really.  I would nominate smoke banshee, circus maximus, spleen merchant and red horse rainbow.  no clutch list is complete without 24 earth years though


'Build a better man trap and the rats will beat a path to your door'

~ Rats, Transnational Speedway League


Let the list go on!
Clutch's song '10001110101' from their album 'Robot Hive' has the line, "Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year," which is an attribution reference and a nod to 2112 by Rush, who in turn had a similar binary-code lyric chorus in their song 'The Body Electric.' Hope that helps clarify things, but probably not. @oldtennisshoes

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault