The 10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time

Categories: Lists

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By Nate Jackson

What would music be without a beat, a rhythm or a backbone? Though they qualify as the first instruments ever created, the drums are probably the last thing most music fans can live without. And while we worship plenty of drummers in modern music, there are some Gods of Thunder who might actually deserve to be struck by lightning. It's only natural that having the biggest instrument in the band will lead to some smug attitudes, inflated egos and dumbass behavior. But when it comes to narrowing down the douchiest drummers of all time, there's a handful of them that definitely stick out. Here is our list of the 10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time.

See also: Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time

10) Terry Bozzio
Terry Bozzio doesn't necessarily come across as the biggest egomaniac in interviews or even during his concerts. It's more or less his monstrous drum kit that is the real douchebag in this situation. Why someone would EVER need 30 toms and two dozen cymbals to play the drums in ANY genre is beyond us. And why does every solo begin with this obligatory need to tap every fucking gong and wind chime he owns? We're willing to concede that anyone good enough to play drums for Frank Zappa deserves a little extra room to stretch out. That doesn't mean create a kit that looks like something you could strap wheels on and drive around on the set of Mad Max.



9. Meg White
Most drummers are familiar with the term "ride cymbal." In the case of Meg White from the White Stripes, it always seemed to feel as though she was playing a free ride more than anything else. Someone tell us, does this woman even qualify as a drummer? At times, watching her try to keep a beat behind Jack White's furious blues guitar was like throwing a cat in the pool and watching it try to swim. It was painful. Sure, the White Stripes always prided themselves on keeping things simple. But really? That simple? There are literally thousands of women who could have made the White Stripes more formidable in the rhythm department. Does that mean add a bunch of crazy drum solos, bells and whistles? No. But if you're gonna play virtually the same beat for every song, play it well.

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54 comments
Ra'Bia Griffith
Ra'Bia Griffith

If Lars Ulrich isn't on the list, it doesn't even make sense to me. Some Kind of Monster was turned into a comedy in my brain. Ooh, also I love the Charlie Rose chat with Chuck D. Classic asswiper, that Lars Ulrich.

John Ewing
John Ewing

I have my roadies put on my socks too. What's the big deal?

Meg Merringer
Meg Merringer

Heidi Jessup Kraig Ludensky John Ewing Leo LeBlanc

Eddie Humphrey
Eddie Humphrey

Douchiest? You mean like "Douche: a jet or current of liquid (as a cleansing solution) directed against or into a bodily part or cavity (as the vagina) b : an act of cleansing with a douche?" An ignorant title and article, written by an ignorant man.

jcope82
jcope82

I didn't grow up in near NY although much of my family is from/lives there. I have often heard of the sanctity of the Village Voice prior to the internet age. I find the VV  online trashy. I don't have any beef with anyone being named on here, that isn't my point, but the writings are always sleaze.

Lisa Criss Mueller
Lisa Criss Mueller

I have a great true story about Lars. He was a gentleman and a good man. Could've taken advantage of the situation, took the high road and got the whole bar on the guest list the next day. Who does that? STL/Metalicca.

Charissa Grandin
Charissa Grandin

Why share this article again? It was worthless the first time.

Michael Rundle
Michael Rundle

seriously dont have ANYthing else worth writing/posting about? Maybe it's bring your 13 year old boy to work week at V V...Even the writer was too ashamed to add there real name!

longdongsilver15
longdongsilver15

I like everyone coming to the defense of Phil Collins, however, as great a drummer as he is, there is no defense for his blatant attempt to become a music star with his shitty solo music from the 80s. 


Lars & Travis Barker = overrated drummers and douche bags

Marcio Kelmanson
Marcio Kelmanson

Toerry Bozzio absolutely uses each one of his bazillion drums and cymbals.. Probably the only human being who can. they're like piano keys to him.

Chase McCord
Chase McCord

Yeh adam, terry bozzio sucks. Ha yeh right

Sherrill Fulghum
Sherrill Fulghum

Animal, seriously???? The biggest scene stealer of the Muppets is Miss Piggy...by a loooooonnnnnngggggg shot!

Adam Abramowitz
Adam Abramowitz

You had me until number 1. Metallica's guitarist great? He was mediocre. All his solos sound alike. TRULY great guitarists are bands like Mayhem, Nile, The Berzerker. Metallica? Not even close...

Mark Ray
Mark Ray

Expected a little more from VV. Going forward I won't be. Bye!

Tim Cox
Tim Cox

This article is another piece of evidence in the case of The Village Voice v. Relevance.

Pavi Felix
Pavi Felix

What moron felt the need to show ignorance, meg white is a bad ass, Lars is annoying but as a drummer is unreal, Phil Collins is a great drummer and only wrote one of the most popular beats of all time

Charissa Grandin
Charissa Grandin

WTF is the point of this article?? why do we need to tear drummers down and some excellent ones at that? so lame.

Ted Jackins
Ted Jackins

Why does Terry Bozzio need that many drums? The Black Page.

fucktard
fucktard

Did you seriously have to split this up into 5 pages for 10 drummers, you clicky douchebags?

blaureux
blaureux

Making lists like this is the douchiest thing to do in journalism

bluezplayer
bluezplayer

Nate, seeing Terry Bozzio and even Phil Collins in this list, even though I am not a fan, tells me that you should try writing about something that you have at least some clue about

BrianKerk
BrianKerk

"They're basically all in the same league, but he refuses to realize it. And we can't help but feel as though Carney's following in the footsteps of Lars Ulrich with his verbal stance against Spotify; lashing out at its creator, Sean Farmer; and refusing to put the band's music on the site."

"We're not even talking about his legendary dust-up with Napster (after all, stealing pennies from a billionaire is still stealing, right?)."

I suspect the author of this article is one of those douchebags who downloads all their music for free and thinks that every musician s/he's stealing from is a billionaire so who cares?

Do a little goddamn research. Lars wasn't going against Napster for Lars, he went against them for all the young artists who didn't have millions of dollars to retire on, and never would be able to make even a meager living since no one would pay for music anymore. You ain't gonna get rich touring (which is more often than not a money-losing venture) or selling t-shirts.

As to Spotify, the rates they pay to artists - again, young struggling artists, not just The Black Keys and Metallica - as so piss-poor they're pathetic, and they keep lobbying to lower the rates even further, while the owners rake in billions. It's not a case of a kid in his college dorm stealing pennies from a billionaire - this is even worse, a case of a billionaire stealing pennies from a kids making music, just trying to get by.

Research, douchebag.

pytrchka9162
pytrchka9162

Nate,

You should definitely stick to writing about football. Slow getting up was excellent.

But your head is sniffing your kidneys with this list.

Except for Lars.



Razbo
Razbo

Author is the douchiest douche to ever douche a blog.

Flooby
Flooby

No Rikki Rocket?  THAT guy is douchebag of the century.  Well, really the whole band should be on their own douche list.

r.f.ellis
r.f.ellis

Sadly placing Phil Collins in the list is incorrect, you try playing Turn it On Again, or Apocalypse in 9/8, or Back in New York City, Down and Out, Robbery Assault and Battery in time with precision, and put him next to Ringo Starr, or any other drummer on this list, and they would not stand a chance.
Of course is crass and indefensible crap final album of Motown covers would to me put him on the worst final records list, but as a drummer before he went Alamo with a deaf ear, not many could surpass him, except Bill Bruford (who was also no douche-bag).

zdeb77
zdeb77

Don Henley alone should qualify for three slots on this list.

MusicStewOnKCHW.org
MusicStewOnKCHW.org

Your list is spot on, except for one entry - Meg White! I'm not saying that she is the most talented or technically skilled drummer, but damn, she can mash the shit out of those drums, and keep a pounding rhythm WITHOUT the inclusion of a bassist in the band. Not many bands can say that. Try listening to her play on "Icky Thump" once more, and I think you'll see my point. 

Question
Question

"...his verbal stance against Spotify; lashing out at its creator, Sean Farmer; and refusing to put the band's music on the site." Am I missing something? The Black Keys' music has been on Spotify for ages.

son_of.horus
son_of.horus

lmao haters everywhere! lars doesnt need an excuse, he helped found Metallica and kicks the shit out of those drums. And you know what, you Napster-banging fags? It is stealing, and an artist should be able to say fuck you, give me money for your entertainment. Thats what they are. Musicians are entertainers, simple as that. 

martinksambleben
martinksambleben

Another Lars hater, do u know what went befor that day in the video. Noo we alle have bad days. and if there is some personal things barthering, NO one can be 100% there.. what have u accomplised.. u can write wooow bravo assfuck.. hop i havnen spasser.. 

martinksambleben
martinksambleben

another lars hater, what have u accomplised. u can write wooow amacing.. fuckhead..

longdongsilver15
longdongsilver15

It's not a knock on Phil Collins ability as a drummer, it's a knock on the shitty music he wrote in the 80's. 

Cyclops
Cyclops

@son_of.horus if Lars tried to "kick the shit" out of his drums he'd just break his toes

don't disagree about the Napster thing,  it takes time and money to produce music, it it's worth listening to (even with a sub-par drummer) it's worth paying for

badfast23
badfast23

@Cyclops little known law that was passed when blank cassettes came onto the market. any person who buys any cd, cassette or OTHER recorded work by any artist is ENTITLED to make a back up copy. bands receive an average of about 25-55 cents per cd. The only people getting paid is a greedy record label.

 I support artists directly. going to their shows, buying a shirt and enjoying the live entertainment. when an artist puts out an album worth a shit, I buy it. last metallica that was worth a shit was AJFA. Most recent cd  i bought? Jason Newsted's new album heavy metal music. jason has more artistic integrity in his asshole than lars has in his entire being.

scarred2112
scarred2112

@badfast23 @Cyclops Not only is your point about blank cassettes a good one about the "right" to make backup copies of your music, but before CD Burners came down to a manageable price in the late '90s/early '00s the RIAA had already lobbied for and *WON* an extra tax on the blank CD media to cover for digital copies.  So well before Napster/File Sharing and burning full copies CDs, not one artist had a right to complain as they were getting paid for the blank CDs that for years very small percentage of music buyers were using.

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