Ten Things My Chemical Romance Fans Can Do RIGHT NOW to Cope With the Band's Breakup

MCR 2.jpg
In the wake of what, apparently, was the greatest band of all time -- My Chemical Romance -- breaking up, hundreds upon hundreds of unstable fans are currently struggling to put the pieces of their broken lives back together. There's a change.org petition requesting that MCR provide a proper worldwide farewell tour (instead of taking the douchebag-ex-BF way out by announcing the end of an era on the Internet). I only know about MCR because I think a song of theirs might've played once when I was accidentally inside of a Hot Topic. Regardless, it's important to help any group of people in crisis, so here are 10 better things that devastated MCR fans could be wasting their time on.

See also: Q&A: My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way on Vampires, Glee, And Liza Minnelli

1. Start Your Own Band!
MCR formed one week after the attacks of September 11th attacks, an event front-man Gerard Way witnessed firsthand that inspired him to create music. Luckily for you, tragic stuff happens every day, so there are plenty of things to propel you to create your own band. Just look at the news - People exist who are legitimately against equality for all members of society! We are in trillions of dollars of debt! My Chemical Romance just split up! Use your sadness and channel it into something creative like your hero once did -- but then stopped doing ... so I guess that's kind of a mixed message, but give it a go anyway and see what happens in 12 years.

2. Drink More Water!
Dehydration is a far more prevalent problem in industrialized countries than most people realize. It is important to keep hydrated because when you're not, you may turn into a crazy person. I'm not sure how much water drips into the dark cave of despair that you live in, but I am sure that it's probably not enough to keep you hydrated. Water cures everything from hangovers to terrorist threats, so it can definitely help you out of your post-MCR depression.

3. Go On A Shopping Spree!
I know it may be tough to step into a Hot Topic now that MCR is over and hearing their precious notes may send you into another downward spiral -- but be brave. Somewhere in the depths of Hot Topic you can find a new identity. Being part of the MCRmy was cool for 12 years, but eventually it's time for everyone to move on. (I don't even know where my Coldplay jacket is anymore!) Maybe you can become a fan of gauging your ears and judging people outside of an Auntie Anne's. Or maybe you can become a fan of wearing various neon colored hair-clip-on's and watching movies ironically. Or maybe you can become a fan of listening to real music. The possibilities are endless. Don't give up hope.

4. Write a Thesis!
If you're in college (which I hope you're not if you're dedicating your time to MCR message boards and petitions), consider writing your senior thesis about MCR and their battle against being classified as "emo". Go in depth. Discuss how the emo-ness of a fan base does not dictate the emo-ness of a band. Discuss the complexities of what it means to be "emo" in mainstream culture. Question whether any of this matters. Kill yourself. A+

See also: Live: Emo Titans My Chemical Romance

5. Start a Fashion Line!
It's impossible for you not to have learned some cutting edge fashion tips from MCR over the years. White hair! Red hair! Black suits! No suits! Take that knowledge and put it towards starting your fashion career. Your prospective clients already exist and they're really easy to find via Google: Sad MCR Fans. Boom! You're there. You'll be famous in no time. Maybe you can even meet the disbanded members of MCR if you do an interview on TV about how your fashion line is inspired by them. But there are a lot of steps to this process, and it's very time-consuming. You'll need to learn a lot of craftsmanship and social skills. This may not be a good idea for you. NEW PLAN: Buy some cookies. Mmmm cookies!



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45 comments
sbwilliams97
sbwilliams97

Oh wow. If you're going to write about a band. You better at least listen to their music and know how much MCR in particular has saved so many lives, including mine. I hope the person knows that he not only disgraced and offended the band but also their listeners. I may have bad days and need music to cheer my up some times but that doesn't make me "emo" and that doesn't mean i always have ear phones in. it just means that music is better than reading shit on the internet like this.

sbwilliams97
sbwilliams97

Oh wow. If you're going to write about a band. You better at least listen to their music and know how much MCR in particular has saved so many lives, including mine. I hope the person knows that he not only disgraced the band but also their listeners.

mmahon86
mmahon86

I don't like your fucking sarcasm bro.

cutekitty4x4
cutekitty4x4

This blog is so ignorant and terrible. What point are you trying to get at by posting garbage like this? This is just an example of how mean and twisted people can be? Did your mom not give you enough hugs or something, or a you just a angry person in general? What has made you so high and mighty that you think you can go around giving your extremely flawed, and bias opinion?
If you think you are so great, how about get OFF of your computer and actually DO something with your life, other than spreading hate.
I am only 14 and I seem to have more knowledge and a better idea about life than you do. This blog post is  nothing but rude and just... Sad!

whenablackbirdflies
whenablackbirdflies

what's your problem? you may not like MCR's music and that's okay, the MCRmy doesn't need fans like you, but stop writing about something you know nothing about. stop perpetuating a stereotype that MCR fans are always angry with the world and have our earbuds in our ears, but actually we're very happy and positive people who live great lives. MCR saved so many lives and they aren't as great as we think they are.. they're even better.

urth2mars
urth2mars

@soundofthecity And "EMO" is the biggest BS term I've ever heard. Eddie Vedder hated the label "grunge". Why do you insult talented bands?

urth2mars
urth2mars

@soundofthecity Racist judge mental stereotyping narrow minded fool. Just in case you needed to know. MCR has older fans too like me.

urth2mars
urth2mars

@Kelly_Pang_MCR I agree. It's a mean article and i bet if anyone said so they'll act like we can't take a joke. I can but, not like that.

chicamv
chicamv

I was disappointed in this article because I what I initially thought was going to be a witty list of things that MCR fans could be doing, turned out to be cheap humor clearly written by someone who does not listen to MCR.  I get the satire.  Good for you, you snarky writer, you.  Except that you should have made one more on your list: #11 - Write a spoof list of "Funny Things That MCR Fans Can Do to Cope" and make it funnier than this one.  At least that one would be easy.

orbitrogue
orbitrogue

This was hilarious!
If you can't see the satire in it then shame on you, but the point I actually agree with is the first, start your own band (if you don't suck, well if you do I suppose you might be able to get better) and the second, drink some fking water.

orbitrogue
orbitrogue

This was hilarious, nice work!
If you fail to see the satire shame on you

alexmatkovic
alexmatkovic

Jay Stephens conducting legions of teenagers to kill themselves...seems like a great guy.

alexmatkovic
alexmatkovic

Who ever wrote this is an unimaginably horrible person.

Kelly_Pang_MCR
Kelly_Pang_MCR

@urth2mars yeah ik they don't know how they changed our lives and that's a mean joke.. That article actually made me cry...

urth2mars
urth2mars

@Our_Black_Heart I know did you read it? So messed up. "Kill yourself A+" ?? Like WTF. Another idiot trying to get popular off of MCR.

Our_Black_Heart
Our_Black_Heart

@urth2mars omg they tweeted me saying "just trying to help" like no you're really not. Ass holes. Imagine if Gerard knew! He'd be pissed!

Kelly_Pang_MCR
Kelly_Pang_MCR

@urth2mars ugh ikr, we are not 'Emos' and we'll never be. Whoever wrote that article should kill them self! MCR is an inspiration!

urth2mars
urth2mars

@RockstarVpunk Definitely a good thing he didn't put Ray or Frank on there. I would've gone a little postal :)

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