The 10 Best Bars in Park Slope Not Yet Ruined by Babies

Categories: Best of NYC

Jackies560.jpg
Jackie's 5th Amendment
The weather is warming up nicely and it's time to stop drinking at home and get to the bar. But lately, many doorways of our favorite watering holes have been blocked. Not by passed out winos or vomit but by, of all things, baby strollers.

Bucking the boozy agreement to leave young-ins at home, many Park Slope families have decided it's okay for little Timmy to tag along to the neighborhood bar while mom and dad get their swerve on. The Slope baby boom and ensuing barroom infestation has reached a point that many establishments now post signs to inform patrons they no longer allow crib lizards after certain hours.

And remember, parents: Chuck E. Cheese serves alcohol. A list like this doesn't need to exist. But because it does...

See also: What Makes NYC Metal?

Jackie's 5th Amendment
404 5th Ave, 718.788.9123
We'll start with the venerable Jackie's 5th Amendment because, at 8AM, it's the only bar that opens early enough for you to duck in for a quick one on your way to work. Bring your kids here if they happen to love octogenarians on oxygen tanks and listening to Bob Seger on repeat.

The frill-less watering hole features wood paneled walls from a bygone era of Brooklyn that little of Park Slope seems to resemble these days. Even the bar's namesake is an allusion to its alleged former association to certain groups that were both organized and illegal. An assortment of metal stools hug the bar with generally kind, salt of the earth regulars that are more than happy to grumble with you about the state of the economy and how things used to be while nipping on cold-as-ice pony bottles of Budweiser.

Smith's Tavern
440 5th Avenue, 718-788-5218
Just down 5th Avenue from Jackie's, Smith's Tavern has been pouring cold domestic mugs of beers since well before your grandfather shipped off to Europe to kill Nazis. They've spruced the place up a bit since then with an internet jukebox and even scrubbed the tobacco stains off the walls. The faux stone arches they added feel like they were brought in from a suburban Italian chain restaurant. But the place more than makes up for it with their solid, no bullshit bartenders who probably won't bother you unless you want to talk about the Mets or Yankees game on the plasma screens. The patrons are still the same cast of retirees and younger blue collar folks looking for a game of darts and definitely not $15 cocktails. Be careful though, they're definitely still looking out for Nazis.

Lucky 13 Saloon
273 13th St, 718-499-7553
You think Saint Vitus is metal? In a neighborhood inundated with organic cocktails, where discussing the kale you picked up from the Prospect Park farmers market gets many a local all atwitter, Lucky 13 is the stuff nightmares are made of. If someone has a child here, it's probably because they stole it.

C-rate horror movies play while an epicurean selection of metal new and old is blasted. Drinks are cheap and it wouldn't be unlikely for a Mohawk-sporting bartender with nothing more than electric tape over her nipples to serve them to you. Did we forget to mention the strippers go-go dancers that actually shimmy and shake on the bar top itself on the weekends?


Location Info

Map

Jackie's Fifth Amendment - CLOSED

404 5th Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

Lucky 13 Saloon

273 13th St., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

Freddy's Bar

627 5th Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

Ginger's

363 Fifth Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

The Owl Farm

297 9th St., New York, NY

Category: Music

South

629 5th Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

Buttermilk Bar

577 5th Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

Commonwealth

497 5th Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Category: Music

My Voice Nation Help
14 comments
Juanita Dee Rockefeller
Juanita Dee Rockefeller

Jackie's Fifth Amendment, the first place listed, is closed. Maybe babies are buying more alcohol than everyone suspects due to the stress of dealing with PS parents!

Sakae Manning
Sakae Manning

Wow...I get there should be separate places for adults only..but "crib lizards"?--maybe some people behave as if they hatched, but these "crib lizards" turn into adults. LOL

Marcia Wood
Marcia Wood

in other words..take a stroll down 5th..lol

Donna Lauri Daniels
Donna Lauri Daniels

There is a reason Reese Witherspoon has a look on her face and the movie audience laughed in "Sweet Home Alabama" when her character says "You have a baby....in a BAR". Because it's not supposed to be done. Where does one have to go anymore for adult time? A strip club? Jeesh!

Terence Degnan
Terence Degnan

Author of this list also annoyed by Afghanis in Afghanistan and groundhogs in dens.

Leopold Bloom
Leopold Bloom

that's great. let's get these people out of the city.

briantomasch
briantomasch

I've been in High Dive with my 4 month old daughter many times on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.  She would sleep quietly in her stroller while I had a couple drinks with friends and played a couple games of pinball.  Nobody, including the bartender, gave a shit that there was a baby in there.  If she'd started crying we would have left. 


Jennifer Spadavecchia
Jennifer Spadavecchia

Please do this article in Hoboken!! I went into a "pricey" bar on the waterfront last weekend in the afternoon to get AWAY from my children and enjoy a nice quiet ALCOHOLIC beverage with my husband, only to find a family having brunch AT THE BAR with their crying infants. I am all about family "togetherness", but REALLY!!???!?!?!? go to a DINER!!

mtnlion44
mtnlion44

The decline of etiquette and the separation of social spaces is pretty far along. I consider it to be proper COFFEE SHOP etiquette that children and cell phone talking are not allowed. These are places for adults to relax and there are a certain set of rules. If you get a cell phone call, step outside. If you have your kids with you, get your coffee and leave. Since everyone just does what they want in our society you are left with a choice between Starbucks where the battle has just been completely lost or some kind of place where the owner basically has to be a Nazi and is called asshole behind his back by many people. But the real problem is that some people will just not except that we can have a tiny, tiny number of places where it is an adult world and just an adult world.

maxposner7
maxposner7

prospect expressway. I'm that guy.

hotfabi
hotfabi

@Jennifer Spadavecchia "I" love it when they take up a space at the bar for there kids to play video games on there cell phones. I just tell them MOVE this isn't daycare! I stand on my feet all day, don't need to be polite about it either!

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...