How to Enjoy a Music Festival: A Handy Guide

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The Walkmen at Boston Calling
It's June, which means we're smack in the middle of music festival season: SXSW and Coachella are distant memories at this point, Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza are on the horizon and New York City's own Governors Ball is set to decimate Randall's Island this coming weekend. (Oh, yeah. And our own 4Knots Music Festival.) Festivals are a fantastic place to discover new music, run into like-minded friends-in-rock/pop/hip-hop/etc. from out of town and witness a few never-to-be-seen-again cameos and surprise appearances that can only happen on that stage at that given moment.

Experiencing a good festival lineup is like catching lightning in a bottle for an entire weekend for the die-hard fans who come in droves. But it's just as exciting and special for the douchebags who flock to stadiums and fairgrounds. You need to be prepared. There's lots to navigate. Fortunately, we're here to help.

See also: Electric Daisy Carnival's Pasquale Rotella on When the EDM Bubble is Going to Pop

Don't freak out about the accommodations/facilities!
Things that will always be gross: Public restrooms frequented by thousands of drunk/high/heat-stroked/carnival food-eating people; fields and fairgrounds trampled by said thousands of drunk/high/heat-stroked/carnival food-eating people. Porta Potties are just terrible all around. Yes, it'd be rad to be able to hit the bathroom without catching diseases and walk through a crowd without stepping on something questionable, but consider the environment and prep yourself ahead of time. The production companies running these events don't want a health hazard on their hands--and they definitely don't want furious people coming at them with complaints--but heading to a big festival with the expectation that you'll be clean and comfortable the whole time is a straight-up joke. If you're germaphobic, freaked out by crowds and genuinely uncomfortable at the idea of being thrown into a teeming mass of people in a relatively enclosed space, a music festival is probably not the place to check out your new favorite band. Thankfully, touring schedules are built around these things for a reason, and you will likely have the opportunity to see Grimes or The National or Jason Aldean or whoever in the area closely before or after their scheduled festival date. That said, you'll enjoy yourself a hell of a lot more if you suck it up and realize that watching The Roots and Jim James play together with the sun beating down on your shoulders is more than worth dealing with 90 seconds of human grossness.

Don't flash your badge in anybody's face!
Scored a backstage pass somehow? Cool! Working the event as a reporter or a photographer? Neat! I get that you're excited, but wear that goofy lanyard like a normal person and refrain from shoving it under the nose of everyone who's unfortunate enough to make eye contact with you. LANYARDS DON'T LOOK COOL. You will look like a jerk who thinks they're too cool to be there, and you will achieve the opposite effect in that no one will think you're cool enough to be there. If you're going to try to cut lines or book it to a spot with a better view of Father John Misty, make your badge visible, and don't barge through that crowd wielding that dinky piece of laminated plastic like a water buffalo charging at a prospect during mating season.

Do wear real shoes!
There can only be one Shoe Fail Coachella Guy. (Or there should be only one Shoe Fail Coachella Guy.)

Seriously, though, no flip-flops, no platforms, no zillion dollar sneakers that Drake also has. Wear shoes you won't mind trashing that you can sprint across a parking lot in, just in case you have to.



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