The World's Greatest Works of Writing ... If They Were About Twerking

Categories: 2013

Somewhere in ancient Greece Miley Cyrus is still twerkin'
Look, I'm not going to spend a lot of time explaining why I just put the word "twerk" in some of the world's classic works of literature. Like, there's no logical or social commentary here, this isn't about Miley Cyrus, this isn't about education, this is an article born entirely out of ... I don't know, just go with it.

See also: "Miley Twerking On Things We Should Talk About" Is a Tumblr We Should Talk About

The Odyssey

These twerks are endless, and a man can sleep through them,

or he can enjoy listening to stories, and twerks have no need

to go to bed before it is time. Too much twerk is only

a bore. And of the twerks, any one whose heart and spirit

urge him can go outside and twerk, and then, when the dawn shows,

breakfast first, then go out to tend the twerk of our master.

But we twerk, sitting here in the shelter, eating and drinking,

shall entertain each twerk, remembering and retelling

our sad sorrows. For afterwards a man who has twerked

much and wandered much has pleasure out of twerk sorrows.


He has almost twerked. Why have you left the chamber?

Was twerk hope drunk

Wherein you dressed yourself? Hath it twerked since?

And twerks it now to look so green and pale

At what it did so freely? From twerk time

Such I account thy love. Art twerk afeard

To twerk the same in thine own act and valor

As thou art in desire? Wouldst thou twerk that

Which thou esteem'st the twerk of life,

And twerk a coward in thine own esteem,

Letting "I twerk not" wait upon "I would,"

Twerk the poor cat i' the adage?

What twerk was't then

That made you twerk this enterprise to me?

When you durst twerk it, then you were a man;

And to be twerk than what you were, you would

Twerk so much more the man. Nor time nor place

Did then adhere, and yet you would twerk both.


Tao Te Ching

The supreme twerk is like water,

twerk nourishes all things without trying to.

It twerks to low places loathed by all men.

Therefore, twerk is like the Tao.

Live in accordance with the nature of twerks.

In dwelling, twerk close to the land.

In meditation, twerk deep in the heart.

In twerking with others, be gentle and kind.

In speech, twerk true.

In ruling twerk just.

In twerking, watch the timing

No fight: No twerk

One who twerks in accordance with nature

Does not twerk against the way of things.

He twerks in harmony with the present moment,

Always knowing the twerk of just what to do.


See also: Twerk Pioneers the Ying Yang Twins Talk Twerking and Miley Cyrus (TWERK!)

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