The 10 Worst Metal Bands of the '80s

Categories: Metal

AnthraxGroovehouse-thumb-560x374.jpg
Photo by Groovehouse
If you look closely, you can pinpoint the exact moment Scott Ian realized people know him as "that guy on VH1 with the beard."
Look, the '80s are back in style in every way, and that's totally cool. It means pop music is more bearable than it's been in a long time.

But there's a disturbing trend happening right now in metal. It's not quite that some top acts are aping the decade's worst aspects, but they're definitely starting to verge into some of the less-flattering trends. For instance, much love to Dallas crossover thrash band Power Trip, but the reverb addiction has got to stop.

To give some helpful hints on what to avoid in the future, here are 10 metal bands from that decade who absolutely sucked, and you should avoid sounding like at all costs.

See also: The 10 Most Metal Deaths of Metal Musicians

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10. Tesla
Christ, these guys were awful, and they have so much to teach about what not to do. First, it doesn't matter if the riffs and solos are hard to play. If they're strung together with as little logic as this, it doesn't work. Second, intellectual subject matter doesn't make your lyrics any less cheesy or horrible.


9. Def Leppard
Yeah, they made a lot more cash betraying their New Wave of British Heavy Metal roots, but you respect Iron Maiden a hell of a lot more than you do Def Leppard, don't you? Lesson here: Don't Sell Out for cash.


8. Twisted Sister
Gimmicks like Dee Snider's can only hide how bad your music is for so long. At some point, people will notice, and your next stop is a fate worse than death: VH1.


List continues on the next page.

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19 comments
jeffwalsh
jeffwalsh

Look at some of the other articles by the writer of this one... he loves Soundgarden... EVERY BAND ON HIS LIST is better than Soundgarden, even the two I think are sucky.... just another 80s hair metal hater... probably just hates music that is catchy and fun instead of depressing.

jeffwalsh
jeffwalsh

One of the worst lists I have ever seen... nearly completely wrong... except for Poison and Anthrax where I agree both deserve to be in the top ten for different reasons... Poison was built on crap talent but some decent songs... Anthrax had some talented enough players but crap songs... couldnt write a good song (except for a few in the John Bush era) if their lives depended on it.

crimsonbear81
crimsonbear81

I definitely don't agree with most of this list. In fact, I think its all b#llsh!t. I never did get into WASP, Anthrax, Nitro or Stryper but as for the rest... From Twisted Sister's We're Not Gonna Take It, Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me, Poison's Talk Dirty To Me, Warrant's Cherry Pie, Winger's Seventeen, all the way to Tesla's Modern Day Cowboy... those are some of my favorite songs by some of my favorite bands. You may not absolutely love their music and u may not care much for them personally but if you're a true 80s Metal fan, you have to acknowledge the accomplishments and contributions made by them to Metal and they're a helluvalot better than alotta this crap u hear nowadays. There's WAAAAY more deserving bands that should be on that list than those. Like someone else commented before, you're just talking outta ur ass

heykyleinsf
heykyleinsf

It's one thing to like or not like these bands..

I even agree with some of it.

But you're talking out your ass a lot here.

Winger had an amazing guitar player.

Tesla were unfairly lumped in.. there's a lot of great things about that band.

But at the end of the day you're just another no-name blogger.

luismilanese
luismilanese

That is the problem about reading "non-specialized" media (and even some crappy specialized): they say a shitload of crap about things they have very little knowledge of.

cethan15
cethan15

The hells wrong with these people theres only 2 bands that actually deserve to be here...... like fuck Tesla was amazing, Winger is awesome i mean who made this list, would be nice to eliminate them from the gene pool....

epac666
epac666

Agree whole-heartedly w/ this list with the exception of Anthrax:

1. You're basically saying that Anthrax's 80's output was all about the rap-metal fusion, which is ridiculous. There was ONE joke song ("I'm the Man") and one other fusion with Public Enemy ("Bring the Noize") which doesn't count since it came out in 1991 and this is an 80's list. Having said that, it should be noted that Anthrax heavily promoted the fact that they (esp Scott) were into rap, supported the fusion, etc.

2. "Spreading the Disease" (1985) and "Among the Living" (1987) are both considered definitive thrash albums. Neither contains any rap-metal. If your argument is that these albums suck...well, I can't help you.

3. "Among the Living" was # 1 in a recent Village Voice list for greatest NYC hardcore / metal albums...huh??? Get your sh*t together guys.

Karl Seidel
Karl Seidel

I find it hard to equate best/worst to Metal Bands...ever. I've never been able to listen to a whole track by any metal band. I don't know if they're all horrible...I just haven't heard a good one yet!

Lola Lloyd
Lola Lloyd

What with this worst business? Just another way to illicit negative comments.

passionara
passionara

I would take out Tesla, Anthrax Poison & Def Leppard off the list and replace with: Steelheart, Vixen, Bulletboys, Ennuf  Z'Ennuff.


drommare
drommare

Kip Winger is actually writing ballets now. There's no denying he's a very talented musician. 

avman88
avman88

Now do "The Ten Worst Corey Deiterman Stories". This article can be #1.

y2keeth
y2keeth

Anthrax is the only metal band on this list, the rest are hard rock.

dpottok
dpottok

C'mon now. WASP is tongue and cheek. Def Leppard had plenty of great songs other than the 3 they play on the radio. Winger is actually a pretty technically proficient band if you look past the stereotype (which you won't, because without the "Hair Metal" stereotype perpetuated by snobby music critics, this article would have nothing to go off of). Poison, as a whole, sucks. Stryper sucks, Nitro is weird. Tesla was actually kind of ok at writing ballads, if that is possible....(their singer also wasn't bad considring he was previously a garbage man with no vocal training.) This will probably be the kindest critiscism you receive on this article, so have fun getting bombarded by angry Anthrax fans.

cethan15
cethan15

@dpottok indeed but i think Tesla was just flat out great, i mean they weren't really hair metal at all they were just there, and kicked ass 


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