How to Not Get Groped By a Frat Guy

sororitygirls.jpg
Timothy Norris
Ladies, let's not stand for this.
This disgusting letter was sent to Georgia Tech's Phi Kappa Tau members to teach them to hook up with drunk co-eds at parties. With lines like, "if anything ever fails, go get more alcohol," it reads like a date rape manual.

But while frat parties have long been gross, the reality is that girls will keep showing up to such events as long as there is EDM and blue UV vodka. And so we offer step-by-step suggestions on how college gals can respond to this stupid manual -- and shut down these smug, collar-popped asshats.

See also: Guys, Predatory Dance Floor Boners Are Not OK

We begin where the Phi Kappa Tau letter begins: with introductions. The writers instruct:

First, introduce yourself and get their name, ask if they are having a good time, and then ask if they want anything to drink. If they say yes, walk them to the bar and tell them what we have to drink.

This might seem like basic polite party behavior, but since a fraternity is an alternate universe, it's best to assume the worst. So, first, make up a fake name, preferably something foreign and hard to pronounce. Then procure your own red plastic cup of Natty Ice, and make sure to keep your eye on it, lest it be roofied.

The letter continues:

If they say no and they look like they are in a sorority, ask them if they are in a sorority (DUH). If not, choose one of the following: where are you living, where are you from, have you been here before, how are classes going, or where all have you been tonight. Then proceed to have a conversation.

Tell him you're living in a utility closet in student union, that classes are mostly focused on medieval weaponry and that you've got bad gas from all the Mexican food you ate earlier.

Here is how to dance: Grab them on the hips with your 2 hands and then let them grind against your dick. After that slowly alternate between just putting your hand across their stomach, but make sure don't to go to high (keep it under the boob) or too low (dont try to finger her... yet).

Slowly distance yourself from his raging genitals, putting your hands across your chest and making sure to tell him how much he reminds you of your brother every time he grazes your tits. Try not to slap him across the face...yet.


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13 comments
Jessica Cabe
Jessica Cabe

Consciously or unconsciously, the Village Voice has perpetuated the idea that it's the female's responsibility to avoid sexual exploitation rather than the male's to not sexually exploit. Maybe because it's easier to teach women than men in a "boys will be boys" society, maybe because it's just a funnier article this way. Something to think about, though. The problem isn't created by women, it shouldn't have to be solved by women. The sooner the media stop preserving the opposite idea, the sooner we won't need these articles at all.

Neil VanEerde
Neil VanEerde

weather its a good touch or a bad touch depends on the skill of the Groper lol

Jay Crocker
Jay Crocker

Why does it say groped like it's a bad thing?

Neil VanEerde
Neil VanEerde

Maybe stay away from douche bag frat houses?

Kristen Senise
Kristen Senise

Exactly why I always hung out with hippies and musicians in college. I avoided that wretchedness.

jesu9
jesu9

This article is just a disgrace to mankind!! ............sorry, I've got to go puke!!

Yvonne Bridges
Yvonne Bridges

Insulting to all women. Why isn't it "Preventing yourself from trying to touch women without their permission, frat boys" ? How about more articles encouraging male self control instead of the same old "women, how you can prevent yourself from being raped/assaulted/harassed/etc" BS?

Nichole875
Nichole875

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Amanda de Souza
Amanda de Souza

Village Voice, If you have any sense, take this article down NOW.

Daniela
Daniela

why the hell is this article called "how to not get groped by a frat guy"? why isn't it titled "frat guys need to understand how to respect women"-- rape culture is putting the onus on women as suggested in this article's title, like it's a given that this shit will happen and thus we always need to inform ourselves about what to do or/and what not to do and also accept that men are animals that cannot be tamed, which is obviously untrue and terrible. FUCK THAT.

Ted Cantu
Ted Cantu

damn... whos that girl on the right?

jake
jake

@Daniela Rape culture? Oh, please, spare us your feminist twaddle. if you get extremely inebriated around a bunch of extremely inebriated young men your chances of being assaulted go up. Very simple. So, keep yourself out of harm's way instead of whining about rape culture and how shit oughta be. 

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