Six Punk Bands We Don't Need To Talk About Anymore

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We really, really don't need to discuss Social Distortion. Really.
I have an embarrassing tendency to bait people into conversations where I just talk about cool things I am doing. Surprise, right? While it likely stems from being bored with hearing of the mundane achievements of others (babies, crappy jobs, cars), there is a part of me that figures it must stem from some sort of deep-seated masochism--the same way I used to force myself to watch My Super Sweet 16. Without fail, the conversation switches to traveling, music, or some other trite nonsense and the question arises:

"Oh, what kind of band are you in?"

See also: Controversy Surrounds Punk Plaque Hanging in Niagra

Look, explaining you're in a punk band sucks--it's like telling people you're a chef. Most people think they know a thing or two about it, and the resulting conversation is maddening. It hurts for everyone involved, as slowly the attempt to bond over art turns into an insecure namedropping contest. So for the sake of all of us, here are six punk bands we simply don't need to talk about.

1. The Clash

I'll be honest with you: I haven't really listened to much of the Clash because a lot of punks who wear hats with chains on them seem to be big fans. Plus, everything I've read about the band basically states it formed with the intention of latching on to the Sex Pistols' success. But in the interest of journalistic integrity, I am listening to some songs now--and I still think they suck, with the exception of some live stuff. Reggae is gross and bad English punk sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber. Oh and if that's not enough, Bono once called the Clash the most influential band on U2's sound.

Lets talk about these bands instead:

'70s Regional Alternatives:
Desperate Bicycles
The Stranglers
Buzzcocks
The Damned
Ultravox

2. Social Distortion

Social Distortion is just Good Charlotte for people who wear flames on their clothes. Punk rock mixed with car culture is like going to the zoo with a bazooka--a funny concept with unforgivable results.

Why don't we talk about these bands instead?:

Southern California Punk That Doesn't Encourage Dice Tattoos
Channel 3
VOM
Agression
The Dickies
The Weirdos

My Voice Nation Help
392 comments
jasonhartley1
jasonhartley1

Dear Village Voice, about your list,

1. The Clash - Agreed, there's nothing left to be said about these guys. Respect.

2. Social Distortion - 90's alt rock, not punk. "Story of my Life", the only song anyone knows, was released in 1990. That makes them '90s rock. I don't give a shit if they formed in '78 and were inspired by the Sex Pistols, they aren't punk.

3. Green Day - Are you fucking kidding me? 90's pop, not punk. To this day they are still '90s pop. They should have quit after Dookie, the anthem of the lazy, good-for-nothing Gen X slackers, as we were branded.

4. Rancid - Ska, not punk. "Time Bomb" is the only song anyone knows and it was released the same year as Microsoft Windows 95, for fucksake.

5. The Casualties - Never even heard of these twerps. Formed in '90, their homepage is a Facebook page. They have a Twitter. I have pleated khakis that are more punk than these poseurs.

6. The Misfits - Punk. Even if people wear the Misfits skull t-shirt as often as Che Guevera t-shirts, they're still punk. Glenn Danzig isn't quite punk himself per se, he's just... Glenn Danzig, but that's alright with me.

For comparison, Bands Who Were Punk:
- Fear
- Dead Kennedys
- GG Allin
- Black Flag
- The Circle Jerks
- Suicidal Tendencies

Miguel Heredia
Miguel Heredia

Horrible article...writer has no clue about Punk Rock music...just snarky comments with intended humor that fails. Not all the bands on this list are great, but come on! What a noob to punk! Pathetic!

Les Baum
Les Baum

This guy is a horses ass.

Michael Hawrylak
Michael Hawrylak

HA HA HA HA! A child with no knowledge of what he is talking about. An informed writer you are not. An ignorant pompous ass you are.

Carrie Ann
Carrie Ann

Pretty sure they let anyone write for vv after this nonsense.

Cliff Galbraith
Cliff Galbraith

Hey junior, didja ever see the Clash? A band that doesn't need to be talked about? What else can't we talk about -- Abe Lincoln? The Roman Empire? Global Warming? Who cares what you're over.

glkcreative
glkcreative

Any so-called journalist (forget punk rocker) that starts a post with "I'll be honest with you: I haven't really listened to much of the Clash" and then proceeds to call them a band that shouldn't be talked about anymore, has zero credibility in my book. I expect this from BuzzFeed, not the Village Voice.

Ken Selig
Ken Selig

Why does this article keep running over and over and over again?

Mo Gags
Mo Gags

he is so completely wrong about the clash! It was more of the Ramones that they wanted to latch on. And the fact that he states that he never listened to a song but yet makes them irrelevant. What a moron.

Robert Kowalski
Robert Kowalski

Don't think anyone talks about The Village Voice anymore either. Lost it's relevance a while back.

Tom Griffiths
Tom Griffiths

Because there's nothing more punk rock than exclusion. Just one big frat house with studded leather vests.

Tom Griffiths
Tom Griffiths

Sorry dude, please tell us who we're all allowed to like, oh ye lord and master of punk rock. #clickbait

Tim Cox
Tim Cox

This article has been floating around for the better part of a year. I can't figure out if the VV has an identity crisis or an "identify" crisis. Apples and oranges.

Michael Incognitus
Michael Incognitus

How many f'n times are you gonna run this f'n pathetic hipster diarrhea?

Richard D. Downing
Richard D. Downing

Social D , Clash , n Rancid ... not punk huh. Hahaha. Mike Ness was banging dope n writing songs probably before this dope was even born. Those bands made huge strides in music. N unfortunately led to the watered down look aid punk we have today. But I guess that goes for everything these days. Nothing is truly raw n fresh. The kids these days are little sissies. How crazy is it that when your kids get in your car your music is harder n faster than anything they listen to.

Caeser Pink
Caeser Pink

Only a writer for the Village Voice in 2014 could hit that perfect mix of snark and cluelessness.

Jennifer Carlough
Jennifer Carlough

I'll just assume everyone complaining about Ultravox being included obviously hasn't heard the three albums before Vienna. Go listen to Young Savage and tell me it's not punk: http://youtu.be/lNETZOp5hzc

Andy Medina
Andy Medina

Things we've learned from this article: 1. Drew Ailes writes about music but he knows nothing about it; 2. he probably ought to reassess his sense of perspective on life, not get so bothered about stuff and possibly consider doing something worthwhile with his time (alternatively, if this article was meant to be "humorous/tongue-in-cheek", avoid applying for jobs in comedy...ever!)

Stephen Morvay
Stephen Morvay

Click-bait....and it worked. Still, the article is shit.

Terry Murphy
Terry Murphy

Gross ignorance. Ultravox a punk band? Are you on heavy drugs or just too young to remember?

Jay Kick
Jay Kick

Who do you mean by "we"? You are the one that posts this shitty article every other month....

Scott Judd
Scott Judd

And who exactly is Drew Ailes I why should anyone give a fuck what this person thinks?

Paul D. Powell
Paul D. Powell

Music is so subjective; there is zero reason to take this opinion piece seriously. "Reggae is gross" is a stupid thing to say. Anyone who listens to The Clash's "1977" can probably see the genius music to come. "Everything I've read about the band" is a dead giveaway to the blogger's lack of musical knowledge in the first place, invalidating pretty much anything else he has to say.

Larry Montozzi
Larry Montozzi

Don't agree with 1and 2. Definitely agree with 3 thru 5.

Brian Davitt
Brian Davitt

And the voice is irrelevant for a long time

Alex Livadas
Alex Livadas

I really enjoyed this the first time I read it, about 4 months ago, and even though I'm tired of it now, "Social Distortion is just Good Charlotte for people who wear flames on their clothes" is still a great line.

Pete DeStefano
Pete DeStefano

Yes!! Thank you I comment this exact sentiment everytime this piece is recycled!

Tammy Nuñez
Tammy Nuñez

Metal bands devoted to smoking weed Buwahaha

Paul Gerard
Paul Gerard

Why does The Village Voice publish this guy? From Norman Mailer to this douchebag? RIP VV.

Sid Johnson
Sid Johnson

what ever game you think you're playing here Voice, its' a stupid one.

David Sannella
David Sannella

people hate comparisons that are completely irrelevant especially when it comes from hipsters.

Mitchell Sternbach
Mitchell Sternbach

OK, I did see the comments. Is this why many people log on nowadays- to vent their hatred?..

Aidyn Woodward
Aidyn Woodward

lol I'm surprised a few other bands weren't on there

Kelly Vail
Kelly Vail

The fact that you compare Social Distortion (punk rock pioneers since the 70s) to Good Charlotte (2000s power pop. Are they even still a band?) completely obliterates any type of credibility you think you may have. Like them or not, it is blasphemy to even consider them to be in the same realm of music.

David Sannella
David Sannella

This is what hipsters write on a slow Sunday. You guys suck!

Mike Hoover
Mike Hoover

Soon no one will be talking about the village voice anymore. The Voice has fallen so far.

Colin Smith
Colin Smith

Same misinformed shit from last year zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ryan Boyle
Ryan Boyle

And why do you keep reposting it over and over? This is from November 2013.

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