The Fashion of Stadium-Folk Bands, Ranked Worst to Worstest

Categories: 2013

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Fashion offenders Mumford & Sons
We all know the current trend of snotty white-people stadium-folk sucks. That's something near-universally agreed upon within critical circles. It's hard to take a single note of the stuff seriously, enough to make you reconsider the entire influencing legacy of Bob Dylan. But one thing that's been underrated in our anger is just how poorly these bands dress. It's not just bad style, it's bad style with an attitude. It's statement-fashion as nuanced as a 15-year old in a Jack Skeleton hoodie. This free pass stops right here, as we've ranked all the bands associated with Nickelback-folk by their attire from worst to worstest.

See also: Why Alice Cooper is Wrong About Mumford & Sons: A Theory

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WORST - Of Monsters and Men

Despite owning perhaps the most hackneyed and clichéd music of the group, Of Monsters and Men actually don't dress that bad (relatively speaking.) Look at those shithead Icelandians, no worse than whatever group of folkies is hoping to get laid at your local college co-op this Saturday. These guys aren't trying to be anything more than the low-hanging fruit they already are. Can you honestly say you never walk out the door looking like a member of Of Monsters and Men? Maybe not your proudest moment, but we've all been there.

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WORSTER - Mumford & Sons

Who's to blame for Mumford & Sons? Who allowed a bunch of asshole 20-somethings to think it's hip to appropriate Woodrow Wilson's style? When did the Great Depression become cool? Is it Twitter? Is it our rapidly diversifying culture that leaves vast, incomprehensible gaps of tangible things to identify with? Is it Carey Mulligan? That's two vests, one hat, one pair of suspenders, and four utterly punchable gazes into the distance.

See also: Why Is Rave Fashion Such a Disaster?

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20 comments
zacharyjmartinez
zacharyjmartinez

Big words from someone who does not know what he is talking about. Point me to the overalls in this picture.

mryoda9
mryoda9

great article anyways lul

mryoda9
mryoda9

Leopold you seem like you're probably a jizznugget groupie of all of these shitty bands, go listen to some hard rock or something for gods sake.

luciassea169
luciassea169

myself lucias, i was vary much tired last year, all time running sort of money. my friend anthony was doing well with jobs75+comhe told me and i joined, now feeling good

Laney Bizzle
Laney Bizzle

Mumford & Sons look damn good in that photo. Agreed on the rest, though.

brandon joseph
brandon joseph

The Village Voice has really nasty breath after using this article. Shame!

Leopold Bloom
Leopold Bloom

my name is not leopold, i would never be dumb enough to put my real information on a social network

dwpollock
dwpollock

Excellently written. And, my favorite line: "You have come face to face with the O-Town of folk rock, despair."

-Dan from Orlando, FL

Miz Watts
Miz Watts

"...and four utterly punchable gazes into the distance." ha!

Michael Bourgeois
Michael Bourgeois

You shouldn't make fun; that's a serious medical condition. Luckily, it has been shown to respond to treatment after copious doses of distilled Summer's Eve.

mryoda9
mryoda9

@Leopold Bloom but not really at all

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