The Gifts That The Other Holiday Gift Guides Forgot

KIS5DemonBust.jpg
Courtesy of KISS Official Store
KISS' demon bust
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Slim Whitman's Yodeling Country Songs. In an attempt to help avoid gift-giving mishegas this season, we've taken the stress out of speculating what your favorite mosher might hope to find under his blackened hull of a Christmas tree. (Or what your sweet niece in Peoria might omgwant! since it'll be hard to top last year's gift of Britney Spears Curious eau de something. Carry on, wayward sons (and daughters), there WILL be peace when you are done. Done shopping, that is.

See also: The Hater's Holiday Gift Guide

If you don't feel the need to fund Gene Simmons' and Paul Stanley's lavish lifestyles this season by purchasing a "glass demon bust ornament" for your tree (trust me: you don't), spend your kissmas kash with at the All New Ace Marketplace. Ex-KISS axe man Mr. Frehley offers up a guitar strap -- black with silver lightning bolts -- so the rockstar wanna-be in your life can be Space Ace in front of the mirror every day! Yes, it's signed, and as KISS fans know, Ace's autograph always features his iconic doodle of an ace playing card (duh). Custom made by Jodi Head in New York City, the strap--"just like Ace's"--is 42 inches long. Wait, just like Ace's what?! For $300, you can own a piece of KISStory unsoiled by Simmons.

Sweet dreams are NOT made of this Marilyn Manson lithograph. Of his watercolor "Crop Failure," Manson explains: "This appeared in Rolling Stone with my essay about Columbine and is sort of a caricature of [Eric] Harris and [Dylan] Klebold taken from their high school photographs... It was definitely part of my reaction for being blamed for something like Columbine. I thought the title 'Crop Failure' was appropriate for several reasons. Columbine, some people might know, is a flower. And, obviously, ['Crop' represents] raising up your children and harvesting them properly. Something did go wrong here, and I think the farmers should be blamed, not the entertainers." Lay down $1,800 for an exhibit-quality reproduction in a limited edition of 25, signed and numbered by the former Brian Warner himself.

Up next: Taylor Swift and Yanni


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2 comments
Neil VanEerde
Neil VanEerde

I ican live without a Gene Simmions Onrament on the tree lol

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