Six Nerdy Groups With Intolerable Fans

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Ween
Surfer Blood. Vampire Weekend. Imagine Dragons. Bowling for Soup. Slightly Stoopid. I've ignored every single one of these bands for one reason and one reason alone: terrible band names. In this culture, we have so many things competing for our attention at all times that our brains naturally has an override mechanism that steps in and sorts things out. You'll ignore an advertisement for something you actually want because it's the wrong color scheme. Or ignore a band over something as trivial as its name. Or, in some cases, on account of its intolerable fans.

That band might be great, but the dorks that preach its gospel are so off-putting it makes it impossible to give their music a chance. The following six bands are nerdy in their own separate ways, but there is one unifying theme between all of them: their fans are intolerable.

See also: Six Punk Bands We Don't Need To Talk About Anymore

6. Anything Related to Mike Patton

Mike Patton is a cool, handsome, talented Renaissance man. He co-runs the fantastic Ipecac Records and has collaborated across numerous genres with myriad offbeat projects. In his earlier years, he made his name fronting two extremely influential bands--Faith No More and Mr. Bungle. That influence on music is precisely what sends his fans crashing into the middle of this list.

Mike Patton fans are constantly reassured through their rock god that manic genre-straddling is an acceptable way to make music. An incalculable number of bands have been forged with the lofty goal of fusing jazz, death metal and dance music. But nine out of 10 times the output is the same as mixing together every ingredient in your kitchen--distinctive, boundary-pushing, festering garbage.

A secondary concern with Mike Patton fans is their grating insistence that he's some sort of unknown and under-appreciated legend. Listening to music made by a guy who toured with the likes of Robert Plant, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Guns N' Roses does not make you a member of some hermetic society of special geniuses.

5. Ween

The members of Ween are wildly talented and their music fascinatingly strange. Unfortunately, they suffer greatly from one thing: the band's crazed fans, hell-bent on taking every opportunity possible to get you understand that Ween is best band in the world. The consequence is that the mere mention of the prolific Pennsylvanians causes the world to slam their ears shut, ignoring them further. Curiously, the only individuals I know who have ever smoked the mysterious and elusive drug DMT were all huge Ween fans as well -- possibly a coping mechanism to the years of being devotees of Gene and Dean Ween.

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27 comments
Hmn Bng
Hmn Bng

In fact, a lot of the these fans are major idiots and even the artists, too.

hah1210
hah1210

Shuddup. You admitted that Ween is talented so why shouldn't two wildly talented and creative guys have very passionate fans. 

Julie Roth
Julie Roth

No way, man. Don't even group Ween in with these yahoos.

Desiree Marcel
Desiree Marcel

I was with you until you got to TMBG. Too far, dude.

Corey Pass
Corey Pass

Critics are those who know nothing more than anyone else paying attention. This guy doesn't even qualify at that. Let me tell you bout the fucking bitch, Deaner!

Michael Falotico
Michael Falotico

That's a shitty list. Alien ant farm?! NO KIDDING! Mike Patton is god.

declancochran
declancochran

Guilty as charged on the Patton front... Kind of hard to think of him as respected when I know literally nobody (nobody!) who has heard of him. Either way, he's the best musician of all time k. 

Sam Haxx Froond
Sam Haxx Froond

how did I know TMBG would be listed here whatever i still like them, and I dont talk about sporks (mostly)

Tyler Parrott
Tyler Parrott

Ween really is the best band ever, and I am definitely one of those typical fans.

Jack Woody
Jack Woody

sad, and its bad to be smart. Go listen to your crap on the radio and leave us smart people and are good music alone. ha

Alaa Abdine
Alaa Abdine

You forgot Green Day and all their fans who think that music got invented when Billie Joe touched a guitar for the first time.

Valer Zende
Valer Zende

he does look like Dante Ruiz ! but older

El Channon
El Channon

Valer Zende is it just me or does this dude on the left look like Dante A Ruiz ?!

Jeffrey Becker
Jeffrey Becker

Dear Drew Ailes - Who died and made you the "King Of All Music"? You are nothing more than a hypocritical prick who is judgmental, intolerable and probably have zero musical talent. The Village Voice should fire your ass for your weak-ass journalism. Now eat a bag of shit and die, you worthless prick.

Scottie Roche
Scottie Roche

"I've ignored every single one of these bands for one reason and one reason alone: terrible band names." What a maroon.

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