Six Awful Songs with Amazing Intros

Categories: Lists

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Red Hot Chili Peppers, definitely appearing on this list.
Some people just know how to hook you, right? Say you're browsing an online dating profile and someone catches your eye. Witty one-liners, cute smirks, maybe something cryptic like a tattoo of Josef Stalin eating a hot dog. Their linked Tumblr page shows they have an active interest in occult medicine and deep-sea creatures. Whatever weird, dumb thing you're into on the internet, they've got it. They've seemingly got the total package.

So you go and meet them at your favorite gastropub, and as you're sipping a glass of some crap with fernet in it, it dawns on you: This person doesn't seem that cool. How can this be? How could you have been snowed so easily based on a first impression?

It's the same, sometimes, with music. The following songs all have brilliant introductions but quickly go on to suck out loud. Listen and wince as the pangs of regret throb in your ears.

See also: The Six Coolest Members of Otherwise Uncool Bands

6. Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Under the Bridge"

The Red Hot Chili Peppers, who should've been forgotten and filed away as a Big Boys rip-off in their early years, managed to spawn one gem in their entire catalog of terribleness: the first 28 seconds of this song. Then, the appearance of Anthony Kiedis' hairless body marks the end of one of the most beautiful introductions in modern music and the beginning of one of the most horrendous, boring, saccharine songs ever written, re-enforcing the fact that Generation X is comprised of clueless twits.

If "Under the Bridge" was a one-night stand, you would never call it back after it obsessively texted you to retrieve the poetry "accidentally" left under your bed. Curiously, all of the produce in your refrigerator would start growing soul patches.

5. Arctic Monkeys - "A Certain Romance"

The more I write, the less I read the comments on my articles. And although it's probably a mistake to admit this, I'll say I was affected by two of them. The first was on my article about bigoted musicians where it was theorized that I was an apologist relative of legendary Fox News dickhead,Roger Ailes (sorry, no relation). The second comment stated that I was obviously a huge fan of Arctic Monkeys. To be certain the latter was dead wrong, I listened to them. And it was bad. The good thing that came out of it, however, was that I was inspired to compile this list.

If you clicked the link, then you've noticed the song completely pukes all over itself right as things start to get hot and heavy. However, like me, you were probably fooled into giving it a chance by the alluring pound of the drums and repetitive guitar as it builds to a loud, dirty riff.

If you think this is an isolated incident, think again. Arctic Monkeys nose-dive into a pit of steaming garbage over and over again. The cringe-worthily titled "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" and "The View From the Afternoon" also both begin with decent, striking intros before deteriorating into watered-down, flimsy tripe.

See also: The Arctic Monkeys Also Remember The '90s


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40 comments
swcooper
swcooper

The Steve Miller Band's "Livin' in the USA" has an incredible lead-in, but is a so-so song.

Ian Rodriguez
Ian Rodriguez

Bye bye Village Voice. Sick of constant reposts. How about an article about hot chocolate or Kanye West for once?

passionara
passionara

GnR clowns and SCOM a HORRIBLE song?? get your ears checked out...

José M. Urbina
José M. Urbina

Foxygen - Shuggie, great start horrible, like after the 1:30 make....

Harrizon Waxzenberg
Harrizon Waxzenberg

Yeah... RHCP only has one good song. I'm not even a fan of theirs and I know that's fucking retarded.

Gina Maria Bechard
Gina Maria Bechard

Disagree with you this time VV. Red Hot Chili Peppers are my favorite. John Frusciante is one of the best guitarists of all time. Lost my interest on this article. Grasp for straws for an article where it's needed but leave bashing the Chili Peppers out of it. Thanks.

Pete Shapiro
Pete Shapiro

didn't i see this last week? and the article didn't get any better between then and now

Peter Detenbeck
Peter Detenbeck

While I would defend the Red Hot Chili Peppers to the death, I do appreciate being turned onto Big Boys. Interesting group.

Bruno Pavesi
Bruno Pavesi

Sounds to me like someone didn't get an autograph when they were a kid.

Dee Callaghan
Dee Callaghan

Horrible article is this what NYC has come too? Remember when NYC was cutting edge and the voice wrote about new music coming out of NYC. Lame lame lame.

Michael Incognitus
Michael Incognitus

STFU you hipster swine. This article is nothing more than a pretentious attempt at elitism to mask the fact that Drew Ailes clearly didn't get enough attention as a kid.

Tim Cox
Tim Cox

Another Voice article telling us what we should hate. Meh!

James Chanbonpin
James Chanbonpin

How is there no "Crazy Train?" Great intro, weak, almost whimsical rest of song...

Gabriel Castellar
Gabriel Castellar

What's the point in articles like this. I don't get it. Regardless of the bands that are in it. Why spend your time bashing intro's of old songs when you could cover bands are up and coming who write new songs. Just stay doing that. This is an annoying article.

Solomon Kelsie Mcqueen
Solomon Kelsie Mcqueen

this asshole put down a whole generation in one paragraph. bet this person better make room on the shelf for the Pulitzer.

Sarah Lynch
Sarah Lynch

The author of this piece just knifed me in the heart.

Jeffrey Becker
Jeffrey Becker

Drew Ailes is a piece of shit writer and should be fired.

Spencer Heck
Spencer Heck

I think the same could be said of this article.

kplo
kplo moderator communitymanagertopcommenter

HOW CAN DEVO BE ON...oh wait. Never mind. Carry on. 

Chuck Hodges
Chuck Hodges

Ha! Thanks for the twist at the end. One of my fav Devo songs! Slap Your Mammy!

Angrense
Angrense

Nothing factual here, merely some guy's opinion albeit an unnecessary one

Billy Epstein
Billy Epstein

This is exactly why no one reads the Village Voice anymore. Say what you want but Under the Bridge and Sweet Child of Mine both went top 10 on the charts, both even took number 1 on others. Hard to call them "awful" songs Mr. Ailes.

Alex Toombs
Alex Toombs

This isn't click-bait nonsense. This is factual.

James McAllen
James McAllen

Clowns like this guy Ailes are the prime reason that no one reads the Voice anymore...

Matthew Taub
Matthew Taub

The Voice has so much good content, do they really need this click-bait nonsense?

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