Ask Andrew W.K.: "How Do I Find a Best Friend?"
[Editor's note: Every week New York City's own Andrew W.K. takes your life questions, and sets you safely down the right path to a solution, a purpose or -- no surprise here -- a party. Need his help? Just ask: AskAWK@villagevoice.com]
Photo by Frank Longhitano
I wish I had a best friend. I do have friends, but I want a best friend. You are my number one inspiration for happiness. How do I get a best friend?
- One Man Wolf Pack
Dear One Man Wolf Pack,
You already have a best friend, and he cares about you more than anyone else ever could--yourself!
You're already your own best friend! Realizing this, and truly getting closer to yourself, is one of the most important and endlessly valuable efforts you can make. Of course, it's great to have other friends who aren't yourself, but as you've already seen, friends can come and go, and it's hard to find someone that you can truly call your "best" friend for life.
That's where being friends with yourself comes in! Most people only ever have a few very, very close friends that remain with them for their whole lives anyway. It seems as we move through life, we move through friendships and other relationships. That doesn't mean these various people aren't important to us, just means we shouldn't put too much stress on having to always have a "best friend."
We don't need to force our relationships into being very close friendships forever--just take them as they come. Besides, you'll often find the harder you push someone to be your friend, the more likely they'll be pushed away. The comfort and companionship you're looking for is already inside of you. Everything that exists and ever could exist--including friendship--is already inside of you.
Some people call this feeling God or spirituality, and some people believe it's found on the outside. But even in those cases where we look beyond ourselves for answers, the ability we have to "look" anywhere starts from within our own self. Be excited that you exist at all, and learn to love this thing that is called you! It's the greatest part of being alive, and once you team up with yourself and really become best buddies with the person that you already are, you'll probably find yourself with all the friendships you could ever need. And no matter what, you should never feel alone.
You've got you.