Six Badass Flute Bands That Aren't Jethro Tull

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ianandersonflute.jpg
Ian Anderson: Hero to flute-rock enthusiasts everywhere.
I remember in the sixth grade when we were all arbitrarily assigned instruments to learn. It was hell for broke parents who were now forced to buy or rent instruments they knew were just going to collect dust in a broom closet. And it was hell for us kids, because when you are a young boy, everything around you is considered to be a weapon. I got a trombone that I would use the arm of to smack the kid in front of me. It was relatively neutral and genderless, rendering me safe from Ross, the gigantic twelve-year-old Italian kid with the thin mustache. Others were not so lucky, and had to endure the torment that comes with playing the soft, emasculating flute.

See also: Six Punk Bands We Don't Need To Talk About Anymore

But the flute is some serious business. The shakuhachi, for example, is a bamboo flute from Japan, designed by traveling zen monks to play songs and beat their enemies up with. They're still used today for defense. In China, martial artists carried flutes and hid daggers in them, or rigged them up to shoot darts. Or for a modern example, turn to the sacred land known as "Tampa Bay," where recently two rocket launchers and a FLUTE GUN were turned into authorities for $75 and some baseball tickets.

So in tribute to the disrespected woodwind instrument, here are six of the most badass flute bands that aren't Jethro Tull. Because let's be honest, you already knew about that one.


6. Genesis
Peter Gabriel played the flute. Not all the time, but sometimes. If you can tear your eyes away from how scary Peter Gabriel is, notice that Phil Collins is wearing a shirt that says "Genesis" on it, and is also playing a whistle. Despite the incredible energy of this performance and the intensity of that flute, Genesis would later go on to suck ass and never use the flute.


5. Traffic
He'll probably deny it now, but growing up, my dad forced me to listen to Steve Winwood a lot. And the Pointer Sisters. But before Steve Winwood was ruining my life with that song and that haircut, he was playing in a band called Traffic, alongside the legendary and now deceased flutist Chris Wood. This song, "Forty Thousand Headmen," will incinerate your ears with the heat of a thousand denim shirts burning in Winwood's mind's eye.

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3 comments
DonDee Adams
DonDee Adams

You gotta remember, this is coming from the same people who consider Kanye the greatest rapper of all time.

Storm Storm
Storm Storm

O people,beware.All pharmaceutical drugs kill you slowly over weeks or months or years according to degree of toxicity of each drug and its dose .I`m a doctor but I left medicine and all the pharmaceutical drugs when I knew the big trick and deception of the offender drug makers .I will show you how the criminals choose each toxic drug and how they market their toxic drugs by foxy lies in the medical curricula .the vicious drug makers depend on (foxy base) which states that(certain toxic drug which causes certain disease and symptoms in a healthy person ,this drug can remove same symptoms in another actually diseased person). However, in fact, the toxic drug does n`t cure the disease but only removes symptoms temporarily and symptoms return again more severe.The patient does n`t notice this increase in symptoms because it`s slight and gradual.But this increase in symptoms accumulates over days ,months or years ,so the drug actually increase the disease and may cause other diseases.The criminals found that :- (1)Opium causes pain in addicts and the pain go away if the patient take opium again ,so,they use it to trick and to fool patients with severe pain (2)Irradiation causes cancers in healthy ,so, they use it to trick and to fool cancer patients (3) Some toxic drugs cause (high blood sugar,thirst and frequent urination) in healthy ,so,they use those drugs to trick diabetic patients (4) some toxic drugs elevate blood pressure in healthy ,so, they use it to trick and to fool hypertensive patient. all pharmaceutical drugs are in the same way as the above 4 examples even drops and ointments. The anti depressive drugs cause depression in healthy ,the antacids cause hyper acidity in healthy , analgesic anti pyretic anti inflammatory drugs cause painful inflammations and fever in healthy , anti arrhythmic drugs cause arrhythmia in healthy ,anti fatigue drugs(vitamins) cause fatigue in healthy,anti bleeding drugs cause bleeding in healthy anti jaundice photo therapy causes jaundice in healthy infants ,anticancer chemotherapy causes cancer in healthy, anti allergic drugs cause allergy in healthy and so on For example, (1)Hypertensive patient with blood pressure 170/100 when he takes anti hypertensive drug ,pressure will fall to 125/85 and associated headache will go away .But,after hours or more,pressure returns with a little increase than before to be 170.1/100.1 and if he takes the drug again ,he will be relieved again then pressure will return with a little increase to be 170.2/100.2 and so on (2)Cancer patient when he takes chemotherapy or irradiation, cancer size will be diminished and cancer cells will be reduced at first but after that the cancer will return more aggressive . (3)Diabetic patient with blood sugar 300 when he takes anti diabetic drugs or insulin ,it will be 120, the patient will be relieved and associated frequent urination and another symptoms will go away but the next day it will return with a little increase 300.1 and so on. (4) patient with acidity 50% when he takes antacid ,it will be decreased to 7%and the patient will be relieved and associated heartburn will go away but after hours or more it will return 50.1% and so on all pharmaceutical drugs are in the same way as the above 4 examples even drops and ointments. Disingenuous drug makers fabricate group of lies about the mode of action of each toxic drug in medical books to trick physicians and pharmacists. For example they allege falsely that anti hypertensive drugs decrease bl. pressure through blocking calcium channels and other false theories or anti diabetic drugs activate pancreas to secrete insulin or antidepressants increase serotonin in brain or they can produce insulin by certain bacteria after implanting certain genes inside it or chemotherapy penetrate cancer cells`nuclei preventing cell division or anti inflammatory drugs affect certain enzymes responsible for inflammation and so on They also fabricate false theories about organs` functions,biochemistry and pathogenesis of diseases. In fact,the criminals did n`t discover any insulin secreted by pancreas nor any other hormones nor serotonin nor enzymes.All pharmaceutical vitamins and hormones are just chemical toxic compounds unrelated to any natural ones. Short course of pharmaceutical drugs may pass peacefully,but all drugs should never be used even for a short course because no benefit from use and may convert simple disease to chronic and kill the patient after weeks, months or years according to the degree of toxicity of each drug and its quantity chemical medicine is the biggest lie in the history.Even bacteria,viruses or fungi are n`t responsible for infectious diseases because all people are exposed to these microorganisms but those only attack actually diseased organs and it is wrong to take any antimicrobial because it will intoxicate the patient and even if it kill the microbe,the infection will return again from the environment as long as the affected organ is weak. If you want to discover the truth, (A)Inject a healthy person Sentenced to death ,inject him 1cc of blood of AIDS patient ,you will find that the virus disappears from the healthy person`s blood within days and the virus can`t cause any disease . (B)Give each drug to healthy persons , after a period of time,you will find that each drug will cause the disease supposed to be treated by the same drug. (c)go to pharmaceutical factories and ask them to show you:- (1) How they can isolate various vitamins from various types of food and how they can isolate various hormones from blood (2)How they identify structure of Each vitamin and hormone (3)How they can make chemical compounds in laboratories which are identical to natural vitamins and hormones. Of course ,they will not respond to you at any step.they can`t isolate nor identify structure nor make identical compounds to vitamins or hormones . Patients should never take pharmaceutical drugs but if they are already taking drugs since a long time they must stop drugs gradually by decreasing the dose over three weeks because it`s serious to stop suddenly and also in crises such as ketoacidosis or other emergencies,patient should take the drug then stop it gradually,and people should know that those crises are caused by long course of drugs. The vicious drug makers allege falsely that mother milk is deficient at many elements needed by infants to make mothers buy their dirty powder milk .They also allege falsely that herbs are toxic to make people buy their toxic pharmaceutical drugs.Even shampoo causes dandruff in healthy hair and increase dandruff in the patient after initial decrease.Even most of hair oils are chemical and harmful and not natural because any natural oil in the world will freeze in freezer but chemical oils will not freeze

Kevin Casey
Kevin Casey

Marshall Tucker Band. If. Blood, Sweat and Tears, John Mayall's Turning Point band. Sure there's more.

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