Ask Andrew W.K.: I Have a New Crush - Should I Dump My Old Flame?
[Editor's note: Every week New York City's own Andrew W.K. takes your life questions, and sets you safely down the right path to a solution, a purpose or -- no surprise here -- a party. Need his help? Just ask: AskAWK@villagevoice.com]
I've fallen in love with my new co-worker. She's the girl of my dreams and also has feelings for me. The problem is, I'm already in a committed relationship with another girl and we've been living together for three years.The consistency and normalcy of that relationship is comforting, but I miss the excitement we had in our first days now that I've found it again in my new co-worker crush. How do I end it with someone I care about and pursue this new girl of my dreams?
- Lost and Confused
Dear Lost and Confused,
Leaving a relationship you don't enjoy is important whether or not you've found someone to leave it for. But it seems like the new feelings you have for your co-worker have motivated you and made it clear to you that you want out of your current relationship. I say go for it and break up so you can pursue your new romance, but I have one question for you first: What happens when the "new girl of your dreams" turns into another committed relationship of consistency and normalcy?
The thrill of infatuation and the initial overwhelming excitement of attraction is not meant to be sustained the exact same way forever. Be careful not to get hooked on the rush of a new crush if you ultimately want to share your life with someone for the long term. For your sake, and hers, I hope this new lady is someone you can have a crush on forever. Otherwise, you'll always be looking to replace what you already have.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side -- sometimes it just appears greener because it's brand new fresh grass straight from the nursery and hasn't really been planted or taken roots yet. Or it might even have some green spray paint on it, making it appear better than it is. Either way, all lawns require time and care -- tending and nurturing. Make sure you're devoting your energy into the right gardening tasks and not getting swept off your feet by the latest and greatest green grass when you already have a fantastic yard to work with.