Everything I Know, I Learned From Biz Markie
Last week, the self-professed "inhuman orchestra" Biz Markie turned 50-years-old. The beloved clown-prince of hip-hop has spent a good chunk of that Diabolical half-century making hip-hoppers laugh while they nod their head. In a genre where, outside the occasional punchline, there isn't a whole lot of laughter, Biz's infectious charisma and one-of-a-kind comedic timing has always gotten him a pass, but ensured his status as a certified hip-hop legend. Biz continues to delight hip-hop heads of all ages, most recently becoming a regular on Nick Jr.'s "Yo Gabba Gabba!" But along with making us smile, he's instilled some absolute wisdom on us over the years too.
YouTube Screen Capture The Biz, whom Nobody Can Beat!
To celebrate Mr. Markie's 50th Birthday, along with his back-to-back shows this Wednesday at Biergarten and Thursday at Brooklyn Bowl, we've put together the wisest words from The Tao of Biz.
"Just a Friend"
Lesson Learned: Never trust a girl who says she just has a friend if she's incredibly suspicious about the whole ordeal, to the point of almost cartoonishly taking advantage of your good-natured idealism, like the kind you display around Agnes, Agatha, Jermaine, and Jack.
Lesson Learned: It's important to be constantly vigilant as to whether or not you have bad breath as it may prey upon you by a stealthy means comparable to espionage.
"T.S.R.: Toilet Stool Rap"
Lesson Learned: Some of the greatest works of art ever created were conceived while sitting on the toilet, as it's the idea location for brainstorming.
"Romeo and Juliet"
Lesson Learned: William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is worth seeing, as recommended by Biz Markie. Also, they had sex.