The Five Most Bizarre Rap Songs From Fictional Characters

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Cookie Monster, Tougher Than Leather
Last week, we reminded you that Jay-Z once wrote an entire song for Bugs Bunny. Along with being the perfect way to close the immortal Space Jam soundtrack, it's also one of the rare rap songs from someone who doesn't exist. In a genre obsessed with "keeping it real," there have been a handful of records that slipped through the cracks where the person rocking the mic isn't real in the most literal sense of the word. From cats to bunnies to muppets, here's the five most bizarre rap songs from fictional characters.

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5) Parappa the Rapper
"All Masters Rap (Bathroom Rap)"
If you had a Playstation in the late '90s, chances are you have fond memories with hip-hop pooch Parappa the Rapper. A video game rightfully praised for a creative concept and innovative gameplay, the admitted silliness of a talking dog spittin' rhymes with a variety of rap masters allowed for quite a bit of leeway. While we're by no means dissing Parappa (partially out of fear, as we suspect his Sony-Illuminati ties run deep), it is worth noting that the game's climax consists of freestyle battling all the game's bosses while waiting in line to use the bathroom. Remember this next time you hear someone pontificate about how popular video games affect children's behavior.


4) The Thing
"It's Clobbering Time"
For all the guff that modern superhero movies tend to get, at least we haven't been treated to a random moment where a titan of justice just begins rapping. Ending an episode of the '90s Fantastic Four animated series, a show already known for the weird "The Thing just loves to fight" lyric in its opening theme, was a sequence where The Thing raps. Claims online suggest "It's Clobberin' Time" features the rock-skinned one backed by beloved rock pranksters Green Jelly. Whether this scene would have helped the recent live action Fantastic Four films is surprisingly not a topic of heated debates in the comic communities.


3) Cookie Monster
"Healthy Food"
The Jim Henson's Children's Television Workshop has a surprisingly deep number of hip-hop cuts in their crates. From Ferlinghetti Donizetti's "Alphabet Rap" (which boasted a breakdancing Grover) to Elmo's "Number 5 (No Jive)" to the rap breakdown in Baby Sinclair's "I'm the Baby, Gotta Love Me," muppets know how to get busy on the mic. The weirdest was Cookie Monster, at the height of the politically correct '90s doing a song about the foods he enjoyed that weren't cookies. "Healthy Food" features M.C. C.M. doing his best Run-DMC impression, accompanied by his "fry girls." "Healthy Food" was remade in the 2000s as a duet between Cookie Monster and Wyclef Jean, making the track sound like it would fit perfectly somewhere on The Ecleftic.

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