How to Get Andrew W.K. to Answer Your Question

Photo by Jonathan Thrope
It's hard to believe, but Andrew W.K.'s advice column turns six months old this week. It's been quite a hit. And quite the experience. Already he's helped so, so many with problems ranging from how to ask your partner to fiddle with your asshole to whether or not college is worth the time and expense. It's the only advice column we know of that has wrestled with issues as far-ranging as internet bullying and heroin abuse. That's perhaps why, this year, several members of the Pulitzer committee resigned in shame when it failed to take ALL THE PRIZES. It's just that good. Now, let's talk about how we can make it better.

See also: Andrew W.K.: On Hatred

Because a lot of that starts with you. Each week hundreds of our fine readers write to with questions both personal and absurd, twisted and enlightening. We really, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for that. We (read: an intern) pare those hundreds down to a respectable number and send a few to Andrew. He picks the one that resonates most with him that week. We can't possibly get to all of them, and there are some we know from the outset won't make it in front of Andrew. Want your question answered? Try sticking to the following...

Photo Aingeru Zorita
Don't Be Vague
Naturally, a lot of the letters Andrew receives are of the "How do I obtain my life goals?" variety. Andrew is a shining beacon of positivity and wish fulfillment (the man is a multi-instrumentalist, an author, a motivational speaker, and professional partier), and so many people think "If he can live his dream, maybe he has some insight into how I can live mine!" The problem with this kind of open-ended and very broad question is two fold: 1) He's already answered it. In various ways. Several times. (Check back through his archives, and you'll see.) 2) Your letter is exactly like a majority of the ones he's already getting. Nothing about it stands out.

Photo by Amanda Segur
Be Specific
When we got a letter from a reader asking Andrew if he should try heroin, it shook us. Not only is it incredibly specific, it's incredibly interesting. We definitely wanted to know how Andrew would answer such a question beyond the pat (and cop-out easy) "Umm, no. Don't do that. You'll die." Specificity is good.

Photo by Frank Longhitano
Ask Something Challenging
The question about heroin is also challenging for the reasons we mentioned above. Ask something that's a challenge to answer. (Save the HOW DO I PARTY BETTER I LOVE TO PARTY LOL!) If you've been reading the column, you already know this: Andrew is a deep thinker. He likes to problem solve. He enjoys meditating on these questions and answering them with a clear mind and a pure heart. Ask him something you don't think he can answer. He gets off on it. Consider him your Rock 'n' Roll Ethicist.

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