The 10 Biggest Douchebags in Country Music

Categories: Lists

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Courtesy of the label
Mainstream country music gets an unfair rap as being universally over-polished and formulaic, a notion that artists like Kacey Musgraves and Eric Church obliterate
every time they strap on their guitars. But there's a granule of truth to the stereotype, and a particularly damaging sub-genre -- known as bro-country" -- is lending it far too much credibility right now.

Booze, chicks, jacked-up pickups, extreme redneck sports, spring break -- artists like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, and even Blake Shelton are leaning way too heavily on such
themes 
in their music these days, and the entire trope can be summed up in one
word: douchey. Yet bro-country isn't the only brand of 'baggery currently afflicting Nashville. No, douchebags are a diverse lot, and here are the 10 biggest 'bags currently cranking out (s)hits in Music City today:

See also: The 10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time

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Courtesy of the label
Toby Keith
10. Toby Keith
Drinking has long been fertile fodder for country songs. But for Keith, who's devoted entire
concept albums to the topic, it's too often the only fodder. His lyrical over-reliance on the bottle is at least partially responsible for spawning bro-country, and Keith also bears a heavy burden for souring the Dixie Chicks on country radio (and vice versa), a setback from which Nashville's female insurgency is only now recovering.

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Courtesy of the label
Charles Kelley
9. Charles Kelley
He seems like a sweet, goofy guy, but sounds like supremo-'bag Michael Bolton, and is in a trio with "Lady" in its name. There's no place for the sort of soft-rock sheen Kelley brings to twang's table; it's high time Hillary Scott ditched the dudes and made Lady Antebellum all about the Lady.

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Ram Country
Dan + Shay
8. Dan + Shay
This douchey duo is managed by Belieber-in-Chief Scooter Braun. That's the only argument we need.

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Courtesy of the label
Chris Gaines/Garth Brooks
7. Garth Brooks
Brooks admirably took a decade off in his prime to focus on his family, but we still can't get the Chris Gaines debacle out of our head, nor can we entirely dismiss it as the reason for Brooks's "retirement" in the first place.

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22 comments
magicmarker_pr
magicmarker_pr

At least Keith Urban was spared from this misery.

Jc Gonzales
Jc Gonzales

I agree with toby Keith, but that's about it.

Alexis Profeta
Alexis Profeta

Luke Bryan is the nicest guy in the world. All these stars are. And I listen to metal. Sounds like you're jealous. This paper needs to write real stories

Jeff Hodak
Jeff Hodak

Kacey Musgraves was great on Nashville Star. Oh wait no, she finished 7th or was it 8th? Can't remember. Does the Village Voice just publish articles that anybody submits? Please tell me nobody got paid money for this.

Richard D Fab
Richard D Fab

Yo! Even the teabaggers & rednecks need heroes. Each to his own, a white version of Kayne West.

Benton Hokkanen
Benton Hokkanen

Chesney is one of the most gracious and appreciative people I have ever met. He is humble and sincere and takes great care to make sure everyone around him is in a good mood. I have had him in my kitchen several times asking me how things were going... wanting to know what I was cooking.

Jeff Hodak
Jeff Hodak

Mike Seely wins! Seriously though, just because people don't like Kenny Chesney, doesn't mean he is a douche. I can't stand his music, but I wouldn't be surprised if the guy is pretty cool. You can take the top ten artists from every billboard genre chart and apply that mentality here.

Sana Al Islam
Sana Al Islam

قال صلى الله عليه واله وصحبه وسلم بلغو عني ولو آية.. Our prophet asked us to tell others at least a verse of the quran: فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ 3:159 And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). 5:90 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّمَا الْخَمْرُ وَالْمَيْسِرُ وَالْأَنْصَابُ وَالْأَزْلَامُ رِجْسٌ مِنْ عَمَلِ الشَّيْطَانِ فَاجْتَنِبُوهُ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, Al-Ansab, and Al-Azlam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaitan's (Satan) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful. كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ۗ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ۖ فَمَنْ زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ ۗ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ 3:185 Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing). ********* وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَنْ يَتَّخِذُ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَنْدَادًا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ اللَّهِ ۖ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَشَدُّ حُبًّا لِلَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ يَرَى الَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوا إِذْ يَرَوْنَ الْعَذَابَ أَنَّ الْقُوَّةَ لِلَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعَذَاب ********************* 47:36: The life of the world is but a sport and a pastime. And if ye believe and ward off (evil). He will give you your wages, and will not ask of you your wordly wealth. 57:20: Know that the life of the world is only play, and idle talk, and pageantry, and boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children; as the likeness of vegetation after rain, whereof the growth is pleasing to the husbandman, but afterward it drieth up and thou seest it turning yellow, then it becometh straw. And in the Hereafter there is grievous punishment, and (also) forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure, whereas the life of the world is but matter of illusion.

Jeff Hodak
Jeff Hodak

Kacey Musgraves was great on Nashville Star. Oh wait no, she finished 7th or was it 8th? Can't remember. Does the Village Voice just publish articles that anybody submits? Please tell me nobody got paid money for this.

Jynni Liske
Jynni Liske

I hate Nashville country. It's all the same! That's why I listen to Texas country.

Jeffrey Koontz
Jeffrey Koontz

Everyone involved belongs on some sort of demeaning list.

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