Christina Aguilera Is a Better Performer Than Beyoncé

Christina Aguilera is a better performer than Beyoncé. I promise that feels just as weird for me to type as it does for you to read, but it's true. This week I was lucky enough to see Beyoncé live for the first time as part of her On The Run tour with Jay-Z. There are a few things about watching Beyoncé live that are apparent from the moment she takes the stage: Beyoncé is not fucking around. Beyoncé is absolutely, really, truly, NOT FUCKING AROUND. Beyoncé is perfection personified. Beyoncé truly believes in the power Beyoncé. Beyoncé is very generous for allowing her husband to perform a few of his songs during her concert.

See also: LIVE REVIEW: Beyonce & Jay Z - MetLife Stadium - 7/11/14

Watching her onstage, it's hard to wrap your thoughts around notions like "Beyonce is a human person" or "Beyonce feels feelings" or "Beyonce sometimes gets ketchup on her t-shirt." Because she's not, and she doesn't.

Beyoncé is a concept more than anything else, and even a TMZ candid video of her sister beating the crap out of her husband in an elevator can't tarnish her image or her ego — she might be skin on the outside, but she's adamantium on the inside, and her power is Wolverine and eternal.

But Beyoncé's performance, for all its success -- its nauseating, knock-you-off-your-feet tidal wave of overwhelming presence -- is completely insincere, as Beyoncé herself is insincere. Her On The Run show had many contrived moments — the feminist voice over coupled with huge pink words flashing across the stage, proclaiming equality between the sexes; her vainly trying to convince us that her marriage to Jay-Z is "troubled" — even when she reached for poignancy, she fell short, because everything Beyoncé does is perfect, and perfectly vapid.

When she took to the stage towards the end of her high energy dance epic, in a "casual" outfit of denim shorts, leather jacket and baseball cap to sing "Pretty Hurts," it was meant to be one of those raw moments that makes live music magical. But there was a hollow thumping where our shared moment should have been.For all her blessed talents, Beyoncé was unable to connect.

Please don't misunderstand: Everyone was mesmerized by Beyoncé. We were having the Beyoncé experience, but we weren't part of it. Which is where I came to the conclusion that Christina Aguilera, or dare I say, Xtina, is a better performer than Beyoncé.

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