The 10 Best Songs by Bad Musicians

Categories: Lists

Jim-Morrison-the-doors.jpg
Via Wiki Commons
Stopped clocks are right twice a day. Geoffrey Arend is married to Christina Hendricks. Performance artists get federal funding. Canada is south of Detroit. People wear Google Glass and think they look awesome. Some things you just can't explain, like how really shitty bands occasionally luck into recording splendid songs. To wit, here are the 10 greatest songs ever recorded by not-so-great musicians:

See also: Six Punk Bands We Don't Need To Talk About Anymore


"Apologize," One Republic
Ryan Tedder is a hit-making robot in the worst sense imaginable. Crafting melodies with the sole objective of charting, he's a pop-music panderer, whether for his own band or the slew of sellouts he produces for. But here's the thing about pop music: Bad as the listening public's taste can be at times, sometimes mass affection is warranted. "Apologize" is one of the times they--and Tedder--got it totally right. The song is reminiscent of Chuck and Blair locking eyes from across a crowded club in Gossip Girl. There's just nothing more emotionally gripping.



"Boogie In Your Butt," Eddie Murphy
This might be the most sophomoric song ever recorded. The lyrics--clearly the fruits of an extremely inebriated green-room conversation--consist of Murphy rapping about shoving a bunch of disparate objects that rhyme into a rectum. ("Put a telephone in your butt/ Put a dinosaur bone in your butt.") But(t), in a still-on-the-rise (this was '82) Murphy's hands, it's infectiously hilarious, and the backing band is funky, like Morris Day loaned Murphy the Time for the night.



"Demons," Imagine Dragons
Taking the baton from Limp Bizkit, Imagine Dragons seem to operate under the mistaken impression that relentlessly cranking everything up to 11 magically makes music better. Except on "Demons," where Dan Reynolds backs the verses into methodical Coldplay territory before the chorus explodes. Somehow it works.



"Alone," Heart
The Wilson sisters are rightfully hailed as feminist trailblazers in what was then a rock landscape completely immersed in testosterone. But that doesn't mean their music was any good. Yet on Heart's most powerful of power ballads, "Alone," all the melodramatic guitar-lickin' works, and the chorus' come-on is oh-so-steamy.



"Drops of Jupiter," Train
This song has been so mercilessly overplayed since it was released 13 years ago (!) that you'd be forgiven for considering it annoying. But that's not Train's fault. "Drops of Jupiter" could be 99.9 percent trash and it would still be redeemed by the amazing line, "The best soy latte that you ever had and me." But the tune, masterfully paced and lyrically ballsy, isn't trash. It's actually pretty good, unlike the balance of Train's discography.


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55 comments
bgoad
bgoad

d

11 minutes ago

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dhyatt000
dhyatt000

Mike seely is a fucking dumbass

wesley.e.t89
wesley.e.t89

The Doors had a number one album and it wasn't the one that featured 'Break on Through' (Their self titled album), but rather Waiting for the Sun, their 3rd album.  Furthermore of their albums went top 10 on the billboard 200 and they had number on albums in France, The Netherlands, Australia and Germany and top 10 albums in Austria, France Norway, Canada, The UK, The Netherlands, Australia, Italy and Sweden.


They've sold over $100 Million records worldwide and have 21 singles.




Aditya Manoharan
Aditya Manoharan

This dumb article isn't worth a repost. You're an idiot, Mike Seely.

Zach Wood
Zach Wood

I was fine with this list until "Drops of Jupiter" showed up.

David Mendoza
David Mendoza

I agree with Michael, this is a lame article. No one takes about Morrison. Unlinking you as well.

NichoLas DoshNer
NichoLas DoshNer

The Doors are overrated. I love the album "Morrison Hotel" and a few other songs, but they are nowhere near the Stones, Beatles, or the Who. Morrison was a pretentious "poet".

Eric Eddy
Eric Eddy

The Doors? Are you some kind of idiot?!? Fuck you Mike Seely.

Johnny Rocco
Johnny Rocco

SO I guess every somewhat reputable tabloid-format newspaper is just cheeping out with these top 10 list? Shame on you Village Voice, you're better than this.

Michael M Adkins
Michael M Adkins

Are you running this lame article again to try and get attention? Okay... I'm unliking you finally.

Le Steve
Le Steve

Michael Buble and Train? Very funny, Village Voice

Ross Harris
Ross Harris

This is a dreadful article. All the songs are awful, bar the Heart and Doors ones, and Heart and the Doors had plenty good songs. Anyone calling the Doors a 'run of the mill' band is an idiot.

vervenna
vervenna

The Doors? Really? The douchebagginess level of this article is amazing.

Jean Marie Santurri
Jean Marie Santurri

Love the Doors...not everyone has the same taste in music...good or bad by anyone's standards....

NFLcopiesWWE
NFLcopiesWWE

Heart: " But that doesn't mean their music was any good."


Wow, the cluelessness is astounding.

Tim Skoldberg
Tim Skoldberg

Doors...one of the most explosive bands of all-time. Jim is in my top 5 vocalists list ever.

James McAllen
James McAllen

Nice attempt at trolling fellas... just another reason not to read the VV.. even at free it's still an over-priced hipster rag...

doctorwilliam13
doctorwilliam13

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Vincent Maldonado
Vincent Maldonado

Oh look, let's put a picture of Jim Morrison on an article about bad musicians and see how many hits we can get!

Duke Lang
Duke Lang

I had the same thought. Mentioning the Doors was an effort at trolling the article, a way of permitting the use of Morrison's photo to catch attention. As for the Doors' musicianship, minimalism must not be mistaken for lack of ability.

Bern Hard
Bern Hard

The Doors sucked. Deal with it people.

Bruce Taylor
Bruce Taylor

Village Voice are a bunch of hack writing haters

Nick du Plessis
Nick du Plessis

I've never read anything about Jim Morrison that explains his musical background. I'm pretty sure there isn't much to talk about in that regard, just his art school and reading experiences.

Nick du Plessis
Nick du Plessis

Jim was pretty overrated, but Ray, Robbie, and John were killer.

Jeff Skinner
Jeff Skinner

Funny how Mike Seely claims, "Were it not for Jim Morrison's blacked-out antics and libidinous charisma, they'd have gone down as just another run-of-the-mill blues-rock quartet." It's true they were the biggest live act in the 60's-70's partly because of Jim Morrison, but I was wondering if Mike Seely could explain this fact... Since Nielsen SoundScan began tracking music sales in 1991, the Doors have sold 16.9 million albums and 4.8 million song downloads in the United States. Please explain how generations of young people, who never heard about Jim's on-stage antics, would continue to buy 20 million Doors albums years after his death? As for Heart.. Mr. Seely chose 'Alone' as their best song. Ann and Nancy Wilson have stated in several interviews that the songs they created in the mid 80's were the worst of their career, because the machine got too big. During that time, they weren't creating songs as musicians, they were making them to sell videos. Listen to Dreamboat Annie, then reread and rethink the crap you wrote, Mr. Seely. You don't have a clue what musicianship is.

David Ward
David Ward

I personally can't stand The Doors' music, but the musicianship of Ray, Robbie & John is absolutely beyond question. They were brilliant musicians! Manzareks "Carmina Burana" is a work of art. And leave Heart alone while you're at it.

Aditya Manoharan
Aditya Manoharan

Jim Morrison? Bad musician? Are you fucking kidding me? >:(

Marty Eiee
Marty Eiee

On what planet are the Doors and Heart "bad musicians"? Clearly the writer of the article isn't a musician.

Steven Hlavac
Steven Hlavac

Well, I'm not a Doors fan by any means, but in this case it means I really believe what I'm saying. They may not have had (nor needed) the musicianship of say Yes or ELP or heck, even the Beatles, but to call them a one-hit wonder (which IMO is what the writer is basically saying) is absurd. The Doors had quite a few great songs. Manzarek's gifts were more along the lines of writer and arranger anyway...

Peter Giannakas
Peter Giannakas

This is no longer the Village Voice. This is bird cage bedding. The Doors?! You're bugging!

Hayley Cook
Hayley Cook

The Doors in an article about bad musicians?? Bad journalists more like. The Doors are one of the greatest bands of all time.

Dylan DeFeo
Dylan DeFeo

Okay, first of all Ray Manzarek was a classically trained jazz and blues pianist before he helped create the Doors. Second of all John Densmore was a long time jazz drummer and then a rock drummer before he got in the Doors. Third of all, Robby Krieger was a self taught flamenco guitarist AND a self-taught slide guitarist before the band. Jim Morrison might not have played an instrument, but his poems had rhythms and melodies to them that the group was able to figure out and synthesize all together essentially by ear since Morrison couldn't really tell them the chords or notes. That takes a lot of talent! Plus Ray locked down lefty bass in concert, which having done the same thing gigging the past few years doing jazz organ and Doors songs (on the Vox Continental and Rhodes bass), I can attest that it takes a significant amount of practice. It's an easy concept in essence, but it does take time for it to really click. To call the Doors bad musicians is a completely ridiculous statement.

JuiceNewton
JuiceNewton

The Doors are one of THE MOST OVERRATED BANDS EVER! I (queen of) whole-heartedly agree.


Kelly Brown
Kelly Brown

Why is there a picture of Jim Morrison?!?!?!

Raul Fernandes
Raul Fernandes

The Doors!!?? You don't F***ing know what you're talking about !!

Melina Dovahkiin
Melina Dovahkiin

The Doors? Bad? Honestly, no. Ray and Robby from The Doors were actually really good musicians. Jim was an excellent lyricist/poet/frontman. John Densmore (whom I saw do a talk earlier this year) isn't "bad", might not be oozing with talent, but not bad. Plus he's a cool guy (he's the reason we don't hear Doors songs on commercials or in shitty movies). But everyone is entitled to their opinions, and I suppose in this case because they weren't exceptional that means they were bad. Whatever. You could've picked a better Doors song to put on the list too. You actually could've put a lot of songs from their discography and gotten away with it. You know, because they're a good band.

bgoad
bgoad

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11 minutes ago

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@dhyatt000

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bgoad
bgoad

@wesley.e.t89 d

11 minutes ago

read cps -told me when I complained about Kennedy being abused by brother wade and her crying -dead for ten months they told her and bruises and spankings and Clarise did not documented-she-lawyer Alison Strauss  told my husband tell your wife to stop -or foster care and you will never see Kennedy again-the cps child was killed after that-and i threatened again to call the swat team I no longer can see cps read Markie Mc night last time I complained about a dead cop in an email my sister and brother had me locked up and drugged they will do it again lots of killers in my family read Markie Mc Night

wesley.e.t89
wesley.e.t89

The Doors never tried to be The Stones, Beatles or The Who, their music was much more eerie, they don't even compare. 

Doesntmatter
Doesntmatter

Go out and tell that to the streets. Or Bruce McCulloch.

joe_dee
joe_dee

His desired result was clicks, and some minor controversy over his attempted slaughter of a sacred cow. I doubt he believes a word of what he said. To dislike the doors for personal reasons is fine, but to say they would have been nothing more than an average blues rock act is just idiotic, and impossible to take seriously. 

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