The Five Sexiest Ugly Guys in Music

Categories: 2013

thomeyes560.jpg
YouTube screen capture
The music industry has a long history of allowing people who should never be getting laid getting laid. It's part of the deal when you become a superstar. James Blunt is still getting laid, the dude from Keane is still getting laid, somewhere around Ole Miss, Bubba Sparxxx is getting laid.

It's a very unique psychological effect, something I call the "sexy ugly guy." Where a flabby, antisocial, or otherwise awkward star stumbles into sexiness out of circumstances and a few adorable quirks. It's a beautiful thing that lets the general public know that, hey, we're only one hit away from being the apple of the world's eye. Here are our five favorite sexy ugly guys.

See also: The 10 Best Male Rappers of All Time


Lil Wayne
He stands at 5'6, he's covered in tattoos, he's got an awful piercing in his lip, and he may be biologically dependent on codeine. But that doesn't matter, because Lil Wayne is supposed to be a possessed weirdo, and possessed weirdos are sexy. We generally take our bad boys with only the bare minimum of redeemable qualities, and the petrified, walking corpse of Weezy only compliments his essence. He brags about sex because he knows, deep down, that he needs to keep up the mirage as long as possible. Tight jeans, hat pulled low, and a Styrofoam cup. It makes for an iconic silhouette, and Wayne will milk it for as long as he can.


Axl Rose

I'll always love how Stephanie Seymour towers over Axl Rose in the "November Rain" video, in one of the many, many wedding dresses he probably ravaged over the course of his career. Axl will always be an awkward looking fellow, his bizarre copper hair too often tied in proto-KoRn braids, his pallid skin mottled by several lifetimes worth of debauchery. Nobody has tried so hard to be sexy. It's hard up there standing next to Slash, and he holds his own mostly through the undeniable magic of being Axl Rose.


Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
29 comments
Frank Vieira
Frank Vieira

He's turns ugly when you don't agree with him.

Em Le Jo
Em Le Jo

Chris Cornell is UGLY?! WTF????!?!?!

Melissa Williams
Melissa Williams

If by calling Chris Cornell ugly, you really mean INSANELY HOT & GORGEOUS, then having his name on this list makes sense. Otherwise: OH HELL NO.

Jinna
Jinna

Pretty sure this piece gives away how young and uninformed the writer is - Chris Cornell was repeatedly referenced as one of the most attractive lead singers back when Soundgarden was active/touring. From pics I've seen he *still* looks great. What qualifies as sexy to this writer?? Oy.

Kendra Long
Kendra Long

Chris Cornell? Ugly? You must be f'n blind! He is far from it. That gorgeous hair and his beautiful green eyes! Nevermind the fact he is a very nice person! Don't even get me started on his singing ability! People with the last name of Winkie shouldn't be writing pieces like this. SMDH...#anyidiotcanwritedumbstories

Guy Baxter
Guy Baxter

You have posted this already... You want your audience to shred you twice?

joe_dee
joe_dee

Chris Cornell has the looks of a male model, even at near 50 years old. Forget about it, when he was a young buck running around bare chested, with shoulder length hair in the late 80's. Bad choice. Ironically you have a clip of him playing "One" by U2, because the Edge, or Bono would have been better choices for this list. 

Lane Montgomery
Lane Montgomery

Are you kidding me? Jack White and Chris Cornell are beautiful creatures.

Suzanne Marks Squires
Suzanne Marks Squires

Mick Jagger should be on the too if this list, he's uglysexy and beautiful! Even at his ripe old age!

Madison Case
Madison Case

uuhmm chris cornell does not belong on this he is a good looking human

viprcsuppliersltd
viprcsuppliersltd

mdma,katemine,cocaine,nembutal,herione,meth,marijuana,oxycotine,mephedrone, and other drugs not mention for sale. contact email:viprcsuppliersltd@gmail.com

Janeen Megloranzo
Janeen Megloranzo

when he was young - Axl had very nice features. The Davey Jones' sways just added to his hotness ;)

Ann Steigerwald
Ann Steigerwald

Chris Cornell was gorgeous back in Soundgarden's early days. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about...

Wera Wer
Wera Wer

actually, Keith Richards was my first ever childhood crush

Andrew Bowers
Andrew Bowers

Thom York could look like Ernest Borgnine but his brilliance would still get him lots-o-laid.

Jenny Ellen Cascio
Jenny Ellen Cascio

Besides this being super degrading and dumb.... You've clearly gone blind if you think Chris Cornell is ugly. Plus, he cut that "molasses" hair years ago.

Krystal Sayles
Krystal Sayles

I was thinking the same thing! And to think, other articles were passed over for THIS! I'm disgusted

Guy Baxter
Guy Baxter

Your categorisation degrades the intelligence. Who the f*ck asked you?

joe_dee
joe_dee

Exactly! Jagger is not only the prototype for ugly sexy, but is still it's reigning king. 

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...