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iVoice

iVoice: Mariah Carey Gets Married!

By Village Voice contributor, Friday, May. 16 2008 @ 1:30PM
Comments (1)
Categories: iVoice

JetersNeverProsper: Wow, you're married again? That's surprising, congratulations!


CashAndCarey: aw, thanks jeet! yeah we didn't date for very long but we were just so in love


JetersNeverProsper: which romanticized beasts from a first grader's Lisa Frank folder would you use to describe your relationship?


CashAndCarey: unicorn, butterfly, regular horse

additionally, "rainbows"


JetersNeverProsper: rainbows too, huh? This must be the real deal.


CashAndCarey: you just don't know, jeet, everything about him just completes me. we're into the same things, we both love children, we're into the same kind of music...


CashAndCarey: he makes music, too, and although the style is a lil' different our songs basically say the same thing


CashAndCarey: come to think of it, we even kind of look like each other, too


JetersNeverProsper: Look like each other? That's kinda weird.

I'm sorry you and I never "made it."


CashAndCarey: me too, baby, but what could you expect?


CashAndCarey: I was always busy with touring and recording, always off to video shoots and parties, and you were busy having tons of homosexual sex with your baseball team


JetersNeverProsper: lol, well, we are the Yankees


CashAndCarey: sometimes we were fluffy clouds and occasionally we were flowers, but we were never rainbow and unicorn


JetersNeverProsper: you're right

Well, I wish you and Nick all the best.


CashAndCarey: Nick? Who is Nick?


JetersNeverProsper: Eh? I thought you married...


CashAndCarey: !!! ooh, here he is now!


HipHopHarry: HI KIDS!!! /does the running man


CashAndCarey: oh baby, whassup boo how you fillin


JetersNeverProsper: yeah you do kinda look alike


CashAndCarey: jeet dis my boy hip hop harry, he make me his wife

ay hurry this my boy jeet


JetersNeverProsper: uh, hi Harry. What is it you do for a living?


HipHopHarry: I LOVE TO LEARN

I LOVE TO LEARN

I LOVE TO LEARN

I LOVE TO LEARN


CashAndCarey: hurry is a bear wif a lil' boy intelligence who teaches numbas an careers to shorties usin' hip hop


HipHopHarry: HIP HOP IS A LIFESTYLE AND I HAVE BROKEN BOUNDARIES IN CRYPTOZOOLOGY TO PROVE THAT, YOU FEEL ME

JetersNeverProsper: sure, sure, I feel you, that's very-

HipHopHarry: EXCUSE ME
HipHopHarry: WHERE DO LIONS LIVE
JetersNeverProsper: where do... where do lions live? what
CashAndCarey: jus ansa' the question

HipHopHarry: WHERE DO LIONS LIVE

JetersNeverProsper: well I mean I don't know specifically, but you could probably find a book on the subject pretty easily

there should be all kinds of books on lions

HipHopHarry: WHOAAAA

TELL ME WHERE WE'RE GOING

CashAndCarey: ... TO THE LIBERRY!
**Online Host**
HipHopHarry and CashAndCarey have left the chatroom amidst scrolling graphics of snakes shaped like numbers
JetersNeverProsper: welp.
  **Online Host**
Welcome to the Public Library Chatroom!

HipHopHarry: /opens a book

MANY FUN THINGS ARE HIDDEN INSIDE

CashAndCarey: harry you given any more thought to changin' ya name since we marry now
HipHopHarry: I CAN'T CALL MYSELF HARRY CAREY THAT WOULD BE WEIRD
CashAndCarey: whats yo lass name fool

HipHopHarry: I AM A BEAR, I DON'T HAVE A LAST NAME. YOU'RE LUCKY I CAN TALK.

I GUESS MY LAST NAME WOULD BE "BEAR" OR "THE BEAR."

CashAndCarey: well i ain' callin myself "hip hop carey"


ProgressiveBoink.com
infernaldinosaur@gmail.com

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Comments (1)

rice cake says:

i like jokes and therefore i like this

Posted On: Tuesday, May. 27 2008 @ 9:40AM

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