The Top Ten Failed First Singles Off The Game's The R.E.D. Album

This list began as a joke, but the longer I contemplated it, the more depressing its basic concept became. Consider: not only could I easily string together ten of Game's fruitless attempts to force label executives to release The R.E.D. Album, his followup to 2008's LAX; I had to make decisions about which ten to include. If you can think of a more damning condemnation of both commercial gangsta-rapper woes and major-label wastefulness, I'm all ears.

For mid-level major-label rappers like Game, keeping your fans satisfied while they wait impatiently for a product you keep desperately promising is right around the corner has become a melancholy fact of life. Unless you currently have at least two Top Ten hits currently floating in the radio-playlist soup, your album is a theoretical construct, no more "around the corner" than universal health care.

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Hear Indie Muppet Dom's Improbable Collaboration With Gucci Mane, "Living In America (Remix)"

Because we are still amazed when successful rappers team up with flavor-of-the-month indie people. Because we always wonder what phone call made this happen. Because we always play fantasy football about exactly which party is benefitting most from this relationship. Because we always want to know what it looks like inside Diplo's Blackberry. Because we can't leave our RSS reader alone.

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Gucci Mane, DMC, Andrew W.K., Cool Kids, Big Freedia, Tim Harrington, And Doug E. Fresh Played The Last Jelly Pool Party, Possibly Ever

And so it ends, the fifth and most calamitous season of Jelly Pool Parties, with a finale abruptly canceled and grudgingly reinstated, in the end overloaded with a semi-secret parade of random-ass rappers, semi-secretly headlined by your friend and mine Gucci Mane. Never has the line "I don't wear tight jeans like the white boys/But I do get wasted like the white boys" had so much resonance.

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Gucci Mane Is A Free Man

Even as fellow famous incarcerated rapper Lil Wayne faces disciplinary action today at Rikers for violating prison rules regarding possession of unauthorized electronics, Atlanta's Gucci Mane strolled out the front door of Georgia's Fulton County Jail this morning, a free man. Outside the jail, he thanked his lawyers, his label, and his fans, saying "I have made some mistakes in my life that have hurt a lot of people who care about me. I have worked very hard to get past them, but those mistakes have brought me to where I am today, and they will not be repeated." His bid on a parole violation lasted six months out of the original year he was sentenced to serve, and came at an awful moment, right on the verge of the release of his first major label LP. "I was forced to miss what should have been one of the proudest moments of my life," Gucci said. "This is something that I will make sure never happens again." [MTV]

Gucci Mane Is Eating Really Well In Prison, If The Cover Of His Upcoming Burrrprint 2 Mixtape Is Any Indication

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From Rap Radar comes news of the next Gucci missive, out April 13, which promises to be anot--man look at that spread! Three bottles! Such tastefully arranged carrots! And I hear Fulton County Jail's lobster is excellent! Tough TV-viewing angles though. Some PR info on this eagerly awaited sequel after the jump:

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Diplo's Free Gucci Remix Record Is Out Today

It'd be pretty unsportsmanlike for us not to note the emergence of Diplo's long-speculated-about Gucci Mane remix mixtape, given that we ran a whole long thinkpiece pegged to its release back in December. So: actual passion or vacant spin? Street movement "free," or hood cliche "free"? For that matter: Free Gucci, or Fuck Diplo? You decide. [Mad Decent]

Hey, Gucci Mane's The State Vs. Radric Davis Is #10 in the Country!

He's no Susan Boyle (#1 for the third straight world beating week, for a grand old-people-still-buy-records total of 1.8 million copies of I Dreamed a Dream sold), but Gucci Mane does have his first top ten record. He sold 90,000--not quite Jadakiss numbers, but better than being the Clipse, who couldn't quite crack the top 40. Til The Casket Drops sold 31,400, good for #41 and a kind of tight, sad feeling in my stomach. The villainous Chris Brown crept to a #7 debut (102,000) despite some right-thinking shop owners' best efforts. And, proving the clout of Jon Caramanica once and for all, tiny Usher-and-Scooter Braun-protege Justin Bieber got a 40% bump this week and climbed back up from #12 to #8. Besides that it's just your usual none too delicious Bocelli-Swift-Gaga-Buble-Underwood salad. As you were. [Billboard]

Free Gucci, Fuck Diplo, and the History of "Free _____"

Gucci Mane's new album, The State vs. Radric Davis is in stores today, but the insanely prolific, remarkably consistent Atlanta rapper has been in jail since November 12th. This is Gucci's second stint in jail for a parole violation this year. Both sentences stem from a 2005 incident in which Gucci attacked a promoter, served six months for the attack, and was released under the agreement that he would take rehabilitation classes and do some community service--which he's now failed to do, and gone to jail for failing to do...twice.

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Gucci Mane Has Ice To Spare

Fuck mortgage-backed securities, default credit swaps, AIG, Fanny Mae, Freddy Mac, Alan Greenspan, George W. Bush, Citigroup, Chrysler, Washington Mutual, Bernie Madoff, Sir Allen Stanford, Henry Paulson, Timothy Geithner, suicide loans, TARP, GM, Wells Fargo, Jerome Kerviel, al-Qaeda, Iran, Osama bin Laden, Dick Cheney, AIPAC, Metro Dream Homes, Ken Lewis, Bank of America, Jay Bybee, John Thain, Lehman Brothers, Joe Cassano, Merrill Lynch, and swine flu. Polar bears ruined our economy.