The mysterious case of Soula Coaster's disappearance

This isn't a surprising development, but it's an unfortunate one. There seems to be some unexplained drama with the R. Kelly life-changer Soula Coaster: Diary of Me, the cover of which made the rounds this morning. Online bookseller Indigo has the title listed for pre-sale, along with the release date of next Tuesday, November 15. But Soula Coaster has been pulled off Amazon with the ominous "We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock" disclaimer. And the project's co-author David Ritz, a celebrity biographer who not only released books with Grandmaster Flash, Ray Charles, and Tavis Smiley (plus Snoop from The Wire!), but famously co-wrote "Sexual Healing" with Marvin Gaye, confirmed via email that the title wouldn't be released next week.

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R. Kelly w/Keyshia Cole, Marsha Ambrosius
Prudential Center
Thursday, June 30

Better than: A 45-minute R. Kelly show.

It's probably fitting that R. Kelly is opening his shows with a black-and-white film, starring him, one where he's at first bummed out while dressed to the nines and sitting at a bar—but then through the help of remembering his past glories, the tours that have taken him all over the world, he comes out of his funk and gets ready to show the world his performing bona fides.

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Imagine if People named an actor "Sexiest [Gender] Alive" months before he or she had released a hit movie or TV show. It's not unthinkable, certainly—think back to the '90s and the Julia Ormonds and Skeet Ulrichs who scored Next Big Thing magazine covers before face-planting in a flop movie—but it's damned unlikely. Usually chart-topping, newsstand-blanketing fame comes after the public has gone gaga for the emerging star's wares.

In music, it's a lot easier to be a best-seller without blanketing the airwaves. Generations of quirky rock acts, from Jethro Tull in the '70s to the Arcade Fire in 2010, have topped the Billboard album chart without even scraping the Hot 100. But pop, R&B and hip-hop acts generally live and die by the single; hit songs lead to hit albums, full stop.

Nicki Minaj spans all of these genres; she's a new queen of hip-hop who sings like an R&B diva and aspires to pop domination. If anyone should need a big radio hit to become a best-selling star, it's her. So it's a total head-scratcher that only this week, Minaj scores her first Top 10 pop hit—a year after she dropped her first major-label single, and more than four months after Pink Friday topped the album chart.

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R. Kelly's 2010 album Love Letter sparkles with old-school tropes from top to bottom, so it makes sense that he'd go back to the time when terrestrial radio still mattered for the video for the pleading "Radio Message." He somehow manages to parlay calling into a Chicago radio station at precisely the right time into an opportunity to command the airwaves with a full-on song for the woman he wronged, who just happens to be driving around the Chicagoland area at the precise moment of his call. (That the DJ lets him stay on the line for as long as he does stretches credibility a bit, although would you hang up on those pipes? I wouldn't—especially given that "Radio Message" is one of those instantly catchy sort of pleas that you have to hear all the way through its close.) Clip below.

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People have lots of strong opinions about the musical outfit that goes by the name Animal Collective, and expect those comment-section arguments to rage now that the band has taken it upon itself to tour this summer. (Brooklyn Vegan's already lighting up! Can someone get me some hummus?) So far they've announced a single New York date, a Celebrate Brooklyn! benefit taking place on the evening of July 12 at the Prospect Park Bandshell. Tickets to the show go on presale at noon today, and are $40.80 with fees; the rest of you can get your tickets beginning Friday at noon.

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Welcome to Sound of the City's year-in-review rock-critic roundtable, an amiable ongoing conversation between five prominent Voice critics: Rob Harvilla, Zach Baron, Sean Fennessey, Maura Johnston, and Rich Juzwiak. We'll be here all week!

At least one song on this record is really good!

Gentlemen,

If I had to pick one example of hashtag rap that I liked more than any other, it would probably be Nicki Minaj's "And I just be coming off the top -- asbestos," from Young Money's "Bedrock," if only because of its somewhat feminist implications. The song reached No. 2 on the Hot 100! Surely that must represent some strike in favor of female sexual empowerment. (Or maybe radio listeners finally realized the charms of Lloyd, whose silky come-ons were also available on "Lay It Down," one of the many r&b songs from this year with which I had passionate, intense flings.)

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The song is "Sign of a Victory," R. Kelly's Soweto Spiritual Singers-assisted bonkers paean to the evils of global warming and the glory of rainbows, the light at the end of the tunnel, the spirit of nations, sung with the bombastic, reality-denying conviction that is Kelly's signature. He performed it in front of 84,490 people at Soweto's Orlando Stadium at the start of the World Cup festivities today, but Kellz has been preparing for this moment a long time: in order to write "Sign of A Victory," he told the Wall Street Journal, Kelly ran drills with the Chicago Fire soccer team, watched Invictus, and "bought some books about soccer from Borders." Now look where he is. Make sure to watch to the end the clip, when the South African version of Bumblebee Man shows up, and Kellz finishes--how else?--on his knees.

Complete with obligatory ambient animals-on-the-veldt noises! In the vaunted twin R. Kelly lineages--raunchy, metaphorically-detailed sex jams, and completely unrealistic, head-in-the-clouds inspirational homilies--official World Cup anthem (one of three, anyway) "Sign of a Victory" is firmly in the latter camp, taking its proud place alongside "Relief" and "I Believe I Can Fly" in the annals of bonkers, baseless R. Kelly assertions. I can see the colors of the rainbow! I see the light at the end of the tunnel! I can see the spirit of the nations! You opened your eyes to global warming! That's the sign of a victory! This one is with the Soweto Spiritual Singers, who do absolutely nothing to keep Kellz anywhere near a reality you might recognize. And if there was ever a sign of a victory when it comes to this guy, well, that's pretty much the definition of it. [Hear it at Jive, via Vulture]

"I'm writing this book as Robert, not R. Kelly," the singer says. "I'm tired of being misunderstood. I will show you the tears, fears, and sweat. I will open my heart and reveal the good in my life as well as all the drama. I want to tell it like it is." This is gonna even better than that other book with "Chocolate Factory" in the title.

--On Tuesday, we noted that R. Kelly had announced his "Ladies Make Some Noise!" tour, which included an NYC stop on October 16th. Now the venue has been revealed-- the WaMu Theater At Madison Square Garden--and tickets are on internet presale right now. The password? LADIES. This man and his machine are so far beyond you and me it is unfair.

--Jay-Z's bodyguard got in a scuffle with a TV reporter who got a little too close to Jay and Beyonce while rap's number one power couple was vacationing in Croatia (?!). The reporter tossed a tripod at the bodyguard, who then sensibly tossed the whole fucking rig into the Adriatic Sea. Leave Jay-Z alone, world! He will be ruling us when everything else is just ash and Rihanna in a garter belt.

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