The Gathering of the Juggalos 2011 Is Happening, For Real

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photo by Nate "Igor" Smith
Come visit beautiful Lake Hepatitis.

And so the wicked-clown army cannot be stopped. Reality TV star Tila Tequila may've vowed to end the annual "juggalo gathering" after getting rocks, rubber dildos, beer cans, Faygo containers, Stryofoam cups, liquor bottles, cigarettes, mustard, half a lemon, a pizza slice, a pearl bracelet, a pudding cup, part of a watermelon allegedly soaked in feces and urine, a clothed baby doll, a mini Mag Lite, and a bag of chicken tenderloin hurled at her onstage there last summer. But one bruised karoake-rapper apparently can't fight the power of 10,000 face-painted outcasts. Insane Clown Posse has officially confirmed the Gathering of the Juggalos 2011.

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Insane Clown Posse Talk Juggalo Magic, Justin Bieber, Trekkies, and Being Rich

"Juggalos are not just ICP fans. They're much more than that. They're not the Deadheads, they're not the KISS Army, they're not hippies. Juggalos are something that's never happened in the music industry. Juggalos are AMAZING!"

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As Juggalo week at Sound of the City draws to a close, we give you this.

You may've noticed that Insane Clown Posse, the Most Hated Band in the World, have hijacked this blog, this paper, this life. The two questions we've encountered in this process have most frequently been: 1) Insane Clown Posse are still around? 2) Are these guys serious? The answers are yes and yes. As this edited transcript of our hour-long conversation with the blazingly passionate Violent J and his equally devoted life partner, Shaggy 2 Dope, suggests, these two men aren't joking. Discussed below: Method Man, Tila Tequila, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Trekkies, their Gathering of the Juggalos performer wish list, why a Juggalo is different than "a regular person," how clown love is supernatural, why haters opened "a can of whoop-ass" on the "Miracles" video, and so so much more.

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Re-Enact the Most Famous Gathering of the Juggalos Moment with Heavy.com's "Tila Tequila's Juggalo Jam"

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When an Internet meme attacks a reality TV star in unscripted real life, YouTube goes wild, blogs pigpile for third-degree traffic, idle hands remix the live footage, eyewitnesses testify on the radio. And if the incident really has longtail potential and/or the reality star endures this topless, some goofball programmer builds a game around the whole ordeal.

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Why Tila Tequila Should Share Some Responsibility for the Extent of the Gathering of the Juggalos Catastrophe

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photo by Nate "Igor" Smith
Tila Tequila, trying to tame an angry mob with party-store supplies

There was bound to be a problem at the 11th annual Gathering of the Juggalos--and there was. In one corner, we have a Playboy-model-turned-reality TV star who became famous only because she had the most friends on MySpace after Tom. In the other corner, we have a very widely reviled American subculture. On her reality MTV dating-show, Tila Tequila chose from 16 ostensibly attractive partners, both men and women, twice; Juggalos tend to empathize so deeply with the Insane Clown Posse-invented character Super Balls, a superhero whose duty/misfortune is to copulate with all the unsexy women in the world ("Ain't no bitch too fat/Ain't no bitch too wack/Ain't no bitch too ugly"), that many males have the song's SB logo tattooed on their bodies. Last week, Tila Tequila Tweet-bragged about how she's "at a fitting to see what I'm going to wear for my performance at the 11th Anniversary Juggalo's Gathering on Friday!! (yay i can't wait!)"; Juggalos are a group of people who regard show-off "richies" with just a smidgen less contempt than bigots. To wit, when I pulled out my iPhone last Friday at the Gathering, a Juggalo I'd been talking with looked down and said matter-of-factly, "Fuck your iPhone." I put it away for the rest of the trip.

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Photo Evidence that Tila Tequila's Weird Bite-Shaped Mark Came from the Gathering of the Juggalos

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all photos by Nate "Igor" Smith
Tila Tequila at the Gathering of the Juggalos

People on the internet like conspiracy theories, so there's been some online speculation that one of the injuries Tila Tequila claimed came from her Gathering of the Juggalos debacle--a bite-shaped mark on her right side, sent to TMZ as evidence--was actually there before Saturday. The reason: the photo above, taken during the show, in which she's photographed still semi-clothed, with that wound. But as you can see from the photos our man Nate "Igor" Smith took when she first came out onstage, she isn't lying about this:

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Exclusive Video: Tom Green Saves Tila Tequila From the Juggalos (Slowmix)

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photo by Nate "Igor" Smith
Tom Green, about to become a human-body shield for Tila Tequila

By now, you've surely seen video footage of the inimitable Tom Green running out onstage during Tila Tequila's Insane Clown Posse debacle. His mini-performance is, and was, absolutely hysterical, and was the one redeeming moment of an otherwise ugly showdown. Since I've become a character in this episode elsewhere, might as well tell you that I'd just pulled up to the stage on a golf cart with Tom Green, his cameraman Tony, Upchuck the Clown (couldn't make this shit up), and a driver; Tom had met Tila for the first time on the airplane to the Gathering, and she'd requested his presence via walkie-talkied runners. So he runs out, does a life-changing running man, gets nailed by debris, hugs Tequila and walks off. This 56 seconds of video I shot is amusing, but even more amusing in slow motion.

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The Official Insane Clown Posse Statement on the Tila Tequila Incident

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Nate "Igor" Smith
Tila, topless, after getting hit at the Gathering of the Juggalos

The statement didn't go out until today because ICP was literally running a four-day festival in the middle of the woods, with no cell reception or internet access. But now TMZ finally got some quotes from Violent J on the Tila Tequila incident and less than 10 minutes ago, Psychopathic/Juggalo Gathering LLC just put out their official release. It reads in full:

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Video: Tila Tequila Goes Topless at the Gathering of the Juggalos

For reasons that still remain a mystery to me, Tila Tequila decided to take off her top in the middle of the Gathering of the Juggalos melee at an audience who'd been pelting her with objects. Likely, as Tom Green said that night, she assumed it would make them stop throwing things, and sure enough, for a moment, it elicited a cheer. But she also challenged them by yelling "I don't give a fuck! I don't give a fuck!," and in both in my estimation and one from the anonymous performer witness who "asked not to be identified so he does not anger the juggalos" (?), this all made the situation worse.

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Tila Tequila vs. The Gathering of the Juggalos: An Eyewitness Account

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Tila Tequila, charming no one. Photo by Nate "Igor" Smith.
Tila Tequila's face turned bloody this past Friday at the Gathering of the Juggalos, and I was onstage behind her when it happened. Two rocks meant for her head missed their target and pelted my shins; no bruises, but I can attest that they weren't thrown lightly. The scene was ugly. Flanked by four security guards, Tequila refused to surrender, continued performing once objects started flying, and kept shouting, "I don't give a fuck!" Then, weirdly, in the midst of it all, she decided to pull off her top. As Tom Green whispered to my right, after he'd momentarily tempered the fusillade by unexpectedly running out onstage and dancing goofily, "That will make them stop throwing things." It didn't.

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