CorporalMartin: Hey Thom! Long time, no talk!

Away message from SargeantYorke:

CorporalMartin: :(

CorporalMartin: I know you're just jokin'! Let me know when you get back in!

CorporalMartin: Thom? You there?

SargeantYorke: hris martin looks like an emaciated donkey

SargeantYorke: oh, sorry, wrong window.

CorporalMartin: Oh.

CorporalMartin: Well, I was just gonna ask, did you happen to see that we came out with another album?

SargeantYorke: oh did you really

CorporalMartin: Yeah! And y'know, we're pretty big fans of you guys

SargeantYorke: yeah, i heard.

CorporalMartin: oh shit you read that

SargeantYorke:

CorporalMartin: ah, well . . .

so of course, we were curious to see what you thought of our new record!

SargeantYorke: listen man, i don't have time to go to pandora.com, type in "jack johnson bono masturbate" and listen through the radio station for two hours

CorporalMartin: Oh, you don't have to do that. It's in stores!

SargeantYorke: what the fuck is a store

SargeantYorke: anyway i think i get the idea of "coldplay"

SargeantYorke: you sit at a piano and sing falsetto about being sorry

SargeantYorke: oh man, i hope your album has art on it! i hope that art is supposed to symbolize something!

CorporalMartin: Actually, it does! It's a

SargeantYorke: nobody cares

CorporalMartin: Well okey doke then. Sorry to bug you. I just think it'd be really great if you gave it a listen! Honest critique is welcome!

Away message from SargeantYorke:

CorporalMartin: aw jeez

**OnlineHost** Later that evening...

SargeantYorke: oh man, so you wouldn't believe who messaged me today

SargeantYorke: guy is such a douchebag, coldplay sucks so bad

TOM_WAITS: why do you say that

SargeantYorke: well i mean, heh, it's coldplay, come on

TOM_WAITS: son i heard the new coldplay album, it's nothin spectacular but it's really not bad

TOM_WAITS: did you even listen to it or did you just decide to get all snarky about it pre-emptively

SargeantYorke: well

TOM_WAITS: think on this, lazy-eye

TOM_WAITS: and you can get away with goddamn "push/pull revolving doors"

TOM_WAITS: and if we weren't so lucky we might just have to spit our dicks out our mouths and write regular people music

SargeantYorke: well yeah maybe

TOM_WAITS: how about you actually listen to it, i kind of like some songs on there

TOM_WAITS: i'm outta here

CorporalMartin: HEE HAW

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Video Shoot Chat!

woman: /gets out of car, walks a few paces, strips down to underwear, starts fire with lighter fluid and a Zippo

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: mmmf

woman: Why did I just light a fire?

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: /rips off tape from mouth

woman: But the video's only camera switch occurs at the exact moment I turn around, and the fire's behind me. How would that make me show up better?

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: ...

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: Now grab that shovel. I'll flip the hatch and slide into the back seat, and then you act like you're bludgeoning me to death.

woman: I don't understand this either. What's my character's motivation here?

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: Fair enough. Here's the conceit.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: This video will serve as an epilogue and companion piece for another video featuring this same song.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: It was an aesthetically neat but otherwise banal video. You're mad because it was terrible.

woman: So? Does my character just roam the countryside and murder people who make crap-ass music videos?

woman: Is there another companion piece? Do I get to garrote McG with a jump rope?

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: Well, the video is too ambiguous to communicate a singular message, so viewers will be left to glean their own interpretations.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: Most disturbingly, it would be easy for one to interpret it as a vindictive lecture that portrays rape as a consequence.

woman: ...

**OnlineHost** The woman is bludgeoning Kanye West with a shovel.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: OW OW FUCK WAIT FUCK

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: /manages to open trunk escape, crawls into back seat bruised and bloodied

SargeantYorkeofKarmaPolice: oh hey it's this fuckin' guy again!

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: What are you doing in here?

SargeantYorkeofKarmaPolice: oh you know, we're just hanging out, chasing after this fat dude real slow

SargeantYorkeofKarmaPolice: we started leaking petrol a ways back but fuck it, you know

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: /turns around, looks through back window

**OnlineHost** The fire has spread to a trail of fuel left by the car.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight:

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: AY MAMA, Y'KNOW I USED TO HAVE A GAME BOY

Portmanteau: You? A Game Boy?

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: YEAH BUT NOW I JUS DO THIS

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: LEVEL 2

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: HEEOWWW I FEEL THAT I WON

Portmanteau: that-- uh, cool!

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: I LIKE YEOW SCREEN NAME

Portmanteau: Aw thanks, sweetie! I think it's clever. It's a portmanteau of "Portman" and "portmanteau"!

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: WHAT

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: HEY WHAT IF MY HEAD ASPLODE AN MA'EYES SHOOT EVERY WHICH WAY AND ONE A THEM GETS STUCK IN MA'BELLY BUTTON

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: ONE LIL EYEBALL STARIN AT THE INSIDE A MA'SHIRT ALL THE DAY AN NIGHT

Portmanteau: God, Devendra? Why do you have be so...so weird all the time?

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: I'LL CALL IT "SEEIN' EYE TUMMY"

Portmanteau: Can't you just be normal for one second?

Portmanteau: I mean, you wrote a song about raising Chinese children regardless of your country of origin.

Portmanteau: You wrote a song about ostensibly wanting to marry little boys, and attempted to justify it by clarifying that it's written from the perspective of a personality-shifting hermaphrodite, and I'm still unclear as to how that makes it okay.

Portmanteau: And you wrote another song in which you speculate that if you were bald, you would grow your beard really long and comb it up so that it covered your head.

Portmanteau: That's the sort of thing I would think if I hadn't slept in five days. It's Shel Silverstein times a thousand.

Portmanteau: I love you, but I get so tired of it! Do you have anything to say?

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: ...

Portmanteau: Well?

ThisChatIsForSiobhan:

Portmanteau: Ugh. You know what, I need to take a break from this relationship. I might call you, I might not...I don't know. Take it easy.

**OnlineHost** Natalie Portman has left the chat room.

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: aowwwww

/weeps

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Star Wars Chat!

Portmanteau: Um. . .Annie? Annie, you there?

Portmanteau: I know it's been a long time...just wanted to see what you were up to these days.

anakin: hi

Portmanteau: Hi.

anakin: i am going to turn into darth vader; i am sullen man

Portmanteau: Oh, that's uh...that's neat.

anakin: i like fix robots

anakin: you want help me for make robot

Portmanteau: ...Neat.

anakin: have you been listening to a music

Portmanteau: Um.

**OnlineHost** Natalie Portman has left the chat room.

anakin: /uses jedi powers to create brick wall

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Devendra Banhart Chat!

Portmanteau: Devendra? Let's get married.

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: YAAYYY

ThisChatIsForSiobhan: /eats beard

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Coachella Chat!

TheHalfBloodPrince: All right, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm now going to play "Creep."

TheHalfBloodPrince: I know it's a big deal for me to be covering Toad the Wet Sprocket, but you know how protective I am of my music.

TheHalfBloodPrince: As such, if I catch you recording this performance, uploading it to YouTube, or mentioning it to your friends or family, I will personally garrote you with my neckerchief.

guy_with_camera: hey what'd he just say

his words were drowned out by the "magic fingers" vibrating motel bed i wheeled out here, on top of which i placed a trampoline

guy_with_camera: durrrr

/presses 'record'

TheHalfBloodPrince: /plays "Creep," does not utter the word "Creep" even once

crowd: WOOOOOO

we are ignorant of prince's body of work but he's the guy who played basketball with charlie murphy and he's playing the only radiohead song we know so WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

guy_with_camera: awriiight

/attempts to steady camera while bouncing on trampoline

TheHalfBloodPrince: /squints into crowd

HEY

HEY

ARE YOU RECORDING MY PERFORMANCE?

guy_with_camera: uh

oopsth

TheHalfBloodPrince: AAAAAAGH

**OnlineHost** Prince has morphed into the monster from Cloverfield.

TheHalfBloodPrince:

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

/lays waste to venue

crowd: AAAAAAHH

guy_with_camera: WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE

**OnlineHost** The crowd has taken refuge in the sewers.

guy_with_camera: /keeps recording

oh man this is huge, i can't believe that just happened

Lily: Did you hear that?

Marlena: Hear what?

**OnlineHost** The crowd is attacked by a pack of alien spiders.

Lily: Oh my God, are you okay? Were you bitten?

Marlena: yeah, i'm fine

i just feel weird

Marlena: all of a sudden i have an appreciation for prince's earlier works

Marlena: like, i can listen all the way through "Billy Jack Bitch" without it annoying the piss out of me

Marlena: i want to listen to "Lady Cab Driver" on loop so i can listen to him screw the lady cab driver for like three minutes

Marlena: i...i think i'm starting to understand "Bob George"

i think it's a passive-aggressive critique on the state of rap music and a diatribe against the caveman alpha-male mindset, imbued with more personal narrative than prince would care to admit and AAAAAHH

**OnlineHost** Marlena has exploded.

Lily: OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE

guy_with_camera: okay okay okay we need to make our way to the graffiti bridge

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: hellayyyyw

crowd: What's with your accent?

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: oh it's just from where i gyew up

crowd: Which is where?

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: an island colony populated by bawoque-pop bwitish longshoeyremen that exists only in my mind

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: ok arye you guys wready to wock

crowd: WOO!

**OnlineHost** Colin Meloy sings a song about an aborted fetus who gets stuck in a chimney and then sees a deadbeat steal his mother's estate, then sails out to sea to avenge her, then finds out his mother has turned into a bird, and then he nurses it back to health and is magically reincarnated as the son of a trapeze artist who joins the Confederacy and dies and becomes a ghost.

**OnlineHost** Then the ghost does a bunch of 1800s shit.

crowd: So will the townsfolk ever find young Frederick's remains?

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: no he is not yreally dead, his spiwit is tuapped in his mothews locket

crowd: oh

WOOO

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: thank youuu thank youuuuu

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: /kind of tunes guitar but not really

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: this song is about me becoming a fatheeeyr

and having a chiyoowld

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: i thought i would not wuite a song about it, but then i decided to wuite a song about it, and then i thought, "why am i wuiting a song about itttttt"

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: because you know it's a cliche and i thought i would nevew wuite a song about it and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: soyyey i should stick to my mantwa "less talk moyre wock"

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: but anyway blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

**OnlineHost** Hours later...

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: ah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

crowd: /falls asleep

**OnlineHost** The Shankill Butchers have entered the chatroom.

shankill_butchers: RUB 'EM OUT BOYOS

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: i'm awake!

shankill_butchers: /wipe off cleavers with thighs

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: oh cwuap

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: hold on i need to come up with a wry and aloof song about me being bwutally muydered

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: it's hawdew to be wry and aloof when i'm the one being bwutally muydered

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Restaurant Chat!

waiter: Your bourbon, sir.

tom_waits: hey thanks

hey will you bring me some corn starch

waiter: Um. Sure.

**OnlineHost** waiter has left the chatroom.

TOM_WAITS: so anyway, i was thinkin about doing another album soon

TOM_WAITS: i found an old maytag dryer from the 50s the other day, gonna throw a bunch of old shit in there and record it

eyeball_kid: blorrrrk

TOM_WAITS: a dancing ballerina jewelry box, some russian babooshka dolls, several dead toads and megaphones, myself

eyeball_kid: BLAAaagh

TOM_WAITS: yeah, rain dogs 2, exactly

although i'll probably call it "old man railroad alcohol junkyard sepia sad shit old man et cetera"

**OnlineHost** waiter has entered the chatroom.

waiter: Here's your, uh, corn starch.

TOM_WAITS: obliged

/grabs handful of corn starch, soaks it in bourbon, rolls it into cigarette paper

TOM_WAITS: you have a light

nevermind

/snaps fingers

**OnlineHost** An oil-barrel hobo fire has magically appeared.

TOM_WAITS: /lights cigarette with hobo fire, takes a drag

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

waiter: What? How did you

TOM_WAITS: eh you know, really helps give it some weight

waiter: Weight?

TOM_WAITS: weight

waiter: Wait!

TOM_WAITS: what

waiter: Aren't you Tom Waits?

TOM_WAITS: yeah

waiter: Didn't you just announce that you're going on tour this summer? When are you going to announce the schedule?

waiter: It's getting late!

TOM_WAITS: i'll wait

waiter: why

TOM_WAITS: because tom waits and so should you

waiter: what

oh

um, what would you like

TOM_WAITS: an enormous bucket of peanut shells and asphalt

you know, to eat

waiter: Oh. Well we can do that! We'll just have to get payment in advance. It'll take us a while to get it together for you.

TOM_WAITS: it's okay, tom waits

waiter: Yeah. Soooo...one check?

TOM_WAITS: yeah, your turn to pick up the tab

eyeball_kid: ghhhllalaaaackack

TOM_WAITS: so you want to go back to saigon then

eyeball_kid: blahg.

waiter: uh all right. I'll just get your card and signature.

TOM_WAITS: you know he can't sign

eyeball_kid: /cries right there on the dotted line

TOM_WAITS: /barfs into hat

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Apartment Building Chat!

larry: Come on, I'm going to show you around the city!

balki: but cousin i am not from this country! my naivete and poor mastery of english will result in hilralrious misunderstandings!

oliver_ackermann: /gets off elevator

larry: AAAAAAHH

balki: aaaaaaa

**OnlineHost** larry and balki have left the chatroom.

oliver_ackermann: sigh

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Bedford Ave Bodega Chat!

cashier: ... where are your brothers and sisters?

kevin_mccallister: I'm an only child.

cashier: Well where do you live?

kevin_mccallister: I can't tell you that.

cashier: Why not?

kevin_mccallister:

oliver_ackermann: /walks up to counter

cashier: AAAAAAAHHH

oliver_ackermann: sigh

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers Chat!

oliver_ackermann: /finds "absurdist fiction" shelf

oliver_ackermann: /picks up book

albert_camus_novel: AAAAAAHH

oliver_ackermann: sighhhhhhhhh

oliver_ackermann: /checks watch

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!

oliver_ackermann: /takes stage

fog_machine: /whoooooooooosh

crowd: WOOOOOO

oliver_ackermann: Thank you! Thank you so much! This means a lot. . . it's been a hard day.

crowd: IT'S OKAY, APTBS!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

oliver_ackermann: and ... and you don't mind if I find a place to bury you?

crowd: ... WHAT

oliver_ackermann: /produces shovel, truncheon

crowd: HOLY FUCK

oliver_ackermann: Yeah, we were really honored to have them tour with us.

crowd: /weeps

oliver_ackermann: god damn

oliver_ackermann: this really isn't what I meant by "death by audio."

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Thriller 25 Recording Studio Chat!

FergieBottom: hey michael jackson!

LazyPunchline: I don't know how to type in a girl voice.

FergieBottom: well then talk about the plastic surgery!

LazyPunchline: Well, over the course of the last twenty to twenty-five years, I have elected to undergo a series of cosmetic surgeries. Many of said surgeries were performed to alter the appearance of my nose.

FergieBottom: hey hey hey

FergieBottom: and then got another picture of you taken right now

FergieBottom: AND THEN SITUATED THE TWO PICTURES ADJACENT TO ONE ANOTHER

LazyPunchline: The two pictures would look markedly different.

FergieBottom: AHAHAHAHA

**OnlineHost** FergieBottom has danced out of the chatroom.

LazyPunchline: Whoa, her butt is still here.

william.i.am: Yeah, I know. When she dances, her ass never moves.

william.i.am: So let's get down to business. You're calling this album "Thriller 25," right?

LazyPunchline: Well, to be truthful, by the time this album is released it will have been 25 years and two months since the release of the original Thriller

william.i.am: Man, nobody's gonna care. We could title it "GUY THEY TALK ABOUT ON BEST WEEK EVER SINGS THE RAP MUSIC" and it would sell five million copies.

LazyPunchline: True. Okay, so the first song you need to drop vocals on is "The Girl Is Mine 2008."

william.i.am: Sure thing. It's been a while, let me give it a read.

/reads lyrics

william.i.am: Um.

LazyPunchline: Yes?

william.i.am: Okay, just to be clear. In the last third of the song, we're, uh. . .we're arguing over a woman, right? Because, I mean, this is 2008, and you're 2008 Michael Jackson, and, uh

LazyPunchline: Hmm.

LazyPunchline: If you want, we could be arguing about whose turn it is to mow the lawn or something.

william.i.am: /stares

william.i.am: Okay, here's what we'll do. At the end of the song, I'll just have a one-sided argument with nobody over who gets the girl.

LazyPunchline: That works.

william.i.am: You know, I don't know whether I should even do this song at all. Are you sure you don't want to let Paul McCartney in here to just do another version of it with you?

LazyPunchline: I'm sure.

william.i.am: Because he's right there.

mccartneyds_an_oil_change: /stands outside, presses face against window glass

LazyPunchline: Oh, damn it.

/walks up to glass

LazyPunchline: This is the last time. I swear to God, get away from me or you're in for an ass-kicking.

mccartneyds_an_oil_change: /sad puppy face

LazyPunchline: Hey! Hey. Go fuck yourself, Old Man Coldplay. Go fuck yourself.

mccartneyds_an_oil_change: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IN FRONT OF THAT APARTMENT BUILDING!

william.i.am: imagine

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Rivers Cuomo Back to the Future Chat!

Cuomover: /smokes a weed

Cuomover: oh fuck! i fuckin love to smoke a weed!

Cuomover: /thrusts crotch ironically

**OnlineHost** CuomoToMyWindow has entered the chatroom.

CuomoToMyWindow: Uh, hey, is this future chat?

Cuomover: no man it's present chat

CuomoToMyWindow: Well, what year is it?

Cuomover: i'm really not sure

/does the drugs

ohhh mannnn

sometimes i think i should write one or more songs about smoking the drugs

CuomoToMyWindow: Uh, all right.

Well who's the President?

Cuomover: um, hold on, let me turn on the news

ok billy mays is president

CuomoToMyWindow: Who's he?

Cuomover: he has a ponytail and is trying to pass some sort of oxiclean or ding king legislation

not my president

CuomoToMyWindow: Well, whatever. You're wearing glasses, so you must be old.

CuomoToMyWindow: Anyway, I logged on here to see how my future self is doing.

Cuomover: prettttty good man, i just came out with a new album

CuomoToMyWindow: Oh man, I bet you're on the Eggshell White album by now.

Cuomover: nah, we got to "the green album" and couldn't think of any other colors

CuomoToMyWindow: Hmm.

So tell me about your new album.

Cuomover: pffff

i just said "fuck it man" and released a bunch of demos that i found on my bedroom floor

Cuomover: check out some of the lyrics on this noise

Cuomover:

Street signs and traffic lights
Ever confusing me, too
Stop left, go right, no U-turn
Where's the God damn exit?

CuomoToMyWindow: what

oh my god

Cuomover: yeah awesome right

it's like, i'm just a nerd tryin' to drive around in a car! gimme some slack man! hahaha right

CuomoToMyWindow: Okay. In this song you're looking for an exit, so you're clearly on the interstate. Do expressways have stop signs in the future? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Cuomover: yeah it's a pretty harsh realm

CuomoToMyWindow: Level with me here. How long ago did you just completely stop trying?

Cuomover: well we did pinkerton, which was really good but only sold 9 copies

shortly after that we realized we could record a shitty 10-track, 24-minute album and call it "full-length"

Cuomover: our upcoming project is just a 4-minute-long recording of a cassette tape i found in my old talkboy

half of it is just me saying "hiii kids we're hoooome eeeearly"

haaaaaa

CuomoToMyWindow: What the hell is wrong with you? The Blue Album was awesome. I bet people still listen to it once in a while.

CuomoToMyWindow: I figured I'd come in here and at least find someone who still gave a fuck.

CuomoToMyWindow: You need to knock it off. You're completely pissing away my entire future. You're just coasting on the albums I'm making so you can peddle your stupid bullshit.

CuomoToMyWindow: Do you really just not care anymore?

Cuomover: how are you typing those big letters

oh that's uppercase right, lemme see if i can do that

Cuomover: ok i don't know how but i just opened 900 instances of solitaire

i am freaking out right now

CuomoToMyWindow: Okay, you know what? This devastates me, but I think I'm just going to find an ax and get someone to chop off my hands. That way I'll never be able to make music again, but neither will you. At least we'll have our dignity.

Cuomover: all right broseph, take it sleazy

**OnlineHost** CuomoToMyWindow has left the chatroom.

Cuomover: whoa

/stares at hand

fingers are weird, they're like little snakes with fingers on them

**OnlineHost** Cuomover's hands have suddenly disappeared, with cleanly amputated stumps where they used to be.

Cuomover: ...

WEEEIIIRD

Cuomover: all right hold up

/stares at stack of angry, disappointed fan mail

Cuomover: ...

**OnlineHost** Nothing happens.

Cuomover: what the fuck it's not working anymore

Cuomover: and how am i still typing

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Pazz & Jop Chat!

arcade_fire: Wait, so you were on tour with us?

lcd_soundsystem: uh yeah i opened for you

arcade_fire: Oh, we thought you were if Ryan Adams got fat, stumbled on stage, and covered Q And Not U for 45 minutes.

lcd_soundsystem: aw

arcade_fire: oh snap

you play with arcade fire, you gonna get arcade burned

arcade_fire: We're just kidding, guy. Everyone loved your album this year. You could actually win this thing.

**OnlineHost** SargeantYorke has entered the chatroom.

SargeantYorke: did someone say RADIOHEAD.

arcade_fire: No

SargeantYorke: you know we are going to win this right.

we are RADIOHEAD.

lcd_soundsystem: "we"? where's the rest of your band?

SargeantYorke: at some point after we recorded ok computer, i realized they were not necessary and murdered them.

lcd_soundsystem: that is believable, actually

arcade_fire: Well that doesn't explain the other dudes playing instruments your live shows.

SargeantYorke: think "weekend at greenwood's."

lcd_soundsystem: GUYS GUYS

**OnlineHost** The Village Voice's Pazz & Jop Five Best Albums of 2007 are:

**OnlineHost** Thank you for playing!

lcd_soundsystem: WOOOOOO

SargeantYorke: what.

SargeantYorke: the village voice and all those stupid critics can go suck their own butt holes.

we are RADIOHEAD. we are god damn RADIOHEAD.

arcade_fire: Hey man, no need to get all shitty about it. We liked your album a lot, but we mean...

arcade_fire: ...well, "Videotape." How did you fuck up "Videotape" so badly? It was so awesome live, but you completely got rid of the crescendo on the album version.

SargeantYorke: the future of music is thom yorke going "ooooooOOOOooooooo" over a 5/4 beat. or actually maybe a 49/3 beat.

arcade_fire: A what?

SargeantYorke: RADIOHEAD.

WEEooOOOoOOWWWEEEEEE

arcade_fire: So...we guess you're going to make some sort of protest video about this, huh?

SargeantYorke: yes.

does anyone know a cuss word for "my taste in music is correct, yours is bad, and you should feel bad."

arcade_fire: Radiohead?

SargeantYorke: RADIOHEAD.

**OnlineHost** Kanye West has entered the chatroom.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: Hey I heard I just finished sixth, right?

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: So what's going on in this chat room?

SargeantYorke: does your name refer, completely or partially, to a piece of electronic hardware

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: no

SargeantYorke: THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

RADIO GODDAMN HEAD.

KanyeFeelTheLoveTonight: oop

**OnlineHost** Kanye West has left the chat room.

arcade_fire: We can't believe you won, man. Congratulations. How are you going to celebrate?

lcd_soundsystem: i might just GO CRAZY

lcd_soundsystem: i might just GO BUY A PIANO WITH THREE OR MORE KEYS ON IT