For weeks, scared rock journos could avoid participating in this important "Are You Smarter Than a Rock Critic?" pop-quiz shame exercise by blocking our AIM name or not picking up their cell phones. But this week is SXSW! The yearly blowout where we critics bravely enter the wild, bringing our parade of pasty white skin and BBQ-stained neckbeards out from the comforts of mom's basement and into the vomit-saturated streets of Austin, Texas. I could finally ambush these folks in public, where they couldn't run to the safety of their hotel rooms and/or Google. Since we were in Texas, I figured the best route would be to celebrate the greatest thing to come out of the state since Frito Pie. And so we asked eight music writers:
|Woe betide anyone who actually bought this record|
How many members of the classic Butthole Surfers lineup can you name?
OK, yes, our panel is about half its usual size, but that is a fuck-up on the part of this particular anthropologist: Uh, I kind of was hanging out watching disgusting bullshit like Shit & Shine instead of trying to pounce on the sea of writers pouring from Stubb's when Smith Westerns were over. I even hung out on Red River for a little while, but all I saw was a steady rain of taco meat as drunks attempted to dump food in their mouth. But smaller panel or no, this should be an easy question, right? Dan Deacon is doing an entire Buttholes tribute as a part of that bonkers Our Band Can Be Your Life concert, and the book itself should be etched into the memory of anyone who writes about what these giant corporations in Austin call "indie rock." Plus, the Surfers had a genuine hit, and at least one of these guys is a full-fledged New Yorker now, and probably stood in line with you for that Cake Shop cookie last week.
So we once again cobbled a consortium of 15 (ok, this time only eight) professional and semi-professional rock critics, all given the usual rules:
1. I will not identify you AT ALL, so it is OK to be wrong. [We will say that our esteemed panel edits magazines, websites, and alt-weeklies. They have written for pretty much every outlet you've ever heard of, from Rolling Stone, Spin, and Billboard on down to random Tweets.]
2. You can't use Google.
So do these guys know their Buttholes from a hole in the ground? Find out below:More »