Sorry, "#SELFIE" Is Sexist

Categories: Bad Ideas

"SELFIE" on YouTube
Yes, that's Steve Aoki
If you've been around a radio wave or computer lately, you've probably heard the newest song to take over the United States - "#SELFIE" by New York's very own DJ duo, The Chainsmokers. It's easy to understand why. With a hot dance beat, fun electronic drops, and female sing-talk vocals that humorously capture the silliness of our obsession with self-documentation, "#SELFIE" has lots of appeal as a song, video, and viral campaign.

See also: Miley Cyrus Isn't "Hurting Women," The Patriarchy Is

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We Interviewed Some Bob Marley Quote Posters About the EDM Remix of His Greatest Hits

Categories: Bad Ideas

On June 25th, the already delicate spine of American music culture may be shattered forever. Bob Marley & the Wailer's Legend is getting an EDM makeover. Read that again if need be. Bob Marley & The Wailer's Legend--the quintessential album for mild, moderate, and severe reggae addicts--is getting a total EDM remixing. Seriously. With DJs ranging from Pretty Lights to eldest-son Ziggy Marley handling Bob Marley's most classic classics, it seems the only person adequately fit to respond to news of the album's imminent release is the man in dreads himself.

See also: Is It Okay to Buy Records at Urban Outfitters?

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These Widespread Panic Fans Aren't Sucking On Balloons Because They're Feeling Festive

Saturday night's Widespread Panic show at the Williamsburg Waterfront was capped by fans of the Georgia-based noodlers heading out into the neighborhood streets while sucking on brightly colored balloons—which were apparently filled with nitrous oxide—that they'd purchased from merchants who had set up shop outside the venue's exit. This, as you might expect, is causing a bit of consternation among local residents, who are already unhappy with the crowds and noise and other side effects of the waterfront concerts. A few selections (unearthed by our Runnin' Scared pals) from the nine clips chronicling the "post-concert drug orgy mob nightmare," shot by someone with the not-at-all-taking-a-side YouTube user Id "StopOSAConcerts," below.

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Here's Hoping That Christina Aguilera And Maroon 5 Kill The "Lazy Mick Jagger References In Lyrics" Trend Dead


I mean, oh, honestly:

Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine of NBC's talent show "The Voice" are putting their voices together on a new Maroon 5 single. Aguilera is featured with Levine and his band on the tune "Moves Like Jagger," which will be released next week on iTunes.

"Moves Like Jagger"? You mean, like in the video for his embarrassing version of "Dancing With The Streets"? (SOUTH AMERRRRRICAAAAAA!!!)

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Source: Wyclef Jean Will Not Be Ruining Haiti This Fall

Rene Preval, Haiti's inept past, shaking hands with Wyclef Jean, a man who hopefully will have nothing to do with Haiti's future.
And so the world's greatest publicity stunt/most irresponsible political campaign ends, not with an election but with a piece of paper, one that has many names on it but not, mercifully, that of Wyclef Jean. Reuters is reporting that a Haitian electoral official has seen the list of eligible candidates and has informed them that Jean "is not on the list." Thank god. It turns out that you cannot in fact run for the presidency of a country you have not meaningfully lived in for the past five years. Even if your dysfunctional, tax-cheating charity does business there; even if you once donned a frilly shirt and posed proudly next to a domesticated lion on a carnival float paid for by said charity. The Haitian electoral board will formally release the list later today; at the moment, Clef remains undaunted, and oblivious, which is pretty much how he's been throughout this mockery of a campaign:

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The Comedy Stylings Of Gibby Haynes: "The Plastic Was Black, So Haynes Described It As His 'Negro Baby Doll Leg'"

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So the gleeful journalism-destroyers over at the sports blog Deadspin have declared this Deadspin Music Week, and included a delightful tale of irascible Butthole Surfers frontman Gibby Haynes' inspired performance last month during a comedy show at the Bell House. Invited as a surprise guest by Eugene Mirman, it seems Gibby brought a prop along!

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You Can't Make It Up: Kanye West Was at the LeBron James Press Conference Last Night

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Twitpick via @youbigdummy
And thus did Greenwich, Connecticut, become the vortex of bad publicity and ill-advised decisions last night, as LeBron James brought along a good luck charm to an hour-long press conference that turned into an abattoir of innocent basketball fan hopes and dreams. In the audience for LeBron's announcement that he'd be stabbing his hometown fans in the heart and moving on to Miami was none other than Kanye West, who knows a thing or two about making apocalyptically bad decisions in front of millions of people. Perhaps they even discussed strategy, as far as doing everything wrong and hurting as many innocent bystanders as possible. Or perhaps they merely stood next to each other, radiating the blissful calm and assurance that comes with being rich and utterly oblivious. Because that is certainly what was coming through our television last night. Below, Kanye temporarily joins the Boys & Girls Club of America:

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The National's Matt Berninger + Hilariously Bomb-Shaped Toy Clock = "I Had The Honolulu Airport Evacuated For About 45 Minutes"

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Our affection for this guy is well documented, but if Matt sits next to you in an airport lobby, you best get the hell out of there to beat the crowd. Spinner reports that the dude recently wound up in federal custody on suspicion of terrorism, prompted what might be the worst gag souvenir imaginable:

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Mace Me Later: A Gallery Of Tweets In Regard To The Great Drake Riot Of 2010

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So. Drake (and Hanson!) was set to play South Street Seaport last night, for free, at the behest of Paper Magazine. It did not go to plan, unless the plan including half a song by Ninjasonik, enormous crowds, fights, chairs flung from balconies (yoy), Mace, damaged soundboards, and general calamity. Our man Zach Baron was there, and his dispatch is here. For further analysis, though, let us now turn to Twitter, because if today's calamity fortified anything, it's our faith in the wisdom of crowds.

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Riot at South Street Seaport: The Drake Show That Never Was

By 7:30pm, Drake already knew this thing wasn't happening, though he came through anyway. That was right around the time the cops began to show up en masse at the South Street Seaport, wading into the throngs of people who had come to see Paper Magazine's potentially ill-advised free summer show featuring Ninjasonik, Hanson, and, of course, the most popular rapper in the country, Drake. On the day of his record release date. It was a recipe for a riot, and the Seaport got one--or something that pretty closely resembled one, anyway. By the time we rolled up, a bit past 7pm, cops already had the outdoor venue surrounded; fights were breaking out all over the tightly packed crowd, and as we made our way toward the stage, a guy came past us running the other way, shouting "I don't want to hurt nobody, so I'm out!" Good advice.

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