Six Reasons People Have Sex With Musicians

Categories: Lists

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Tom Petty's skin looks like a fondue pot was poured over a haunted-house prop. If not for music, he'd be a very lonely man.
Recently, Business Insider published the results of a study that purports to prove why women want to enter the bone zone with musicians. The article summarizes research from the University of Sussex, and there are a few glaring omissions that make it useless to the general population. Aside from basically stating that it's "some sort of biological thing," the article fails to take into account some of the obvious reasons creative individuals and other attention vacuums are attractive as short-term sex partners.

The study also sucks because it leaves dudes completely out of the equation. Maybe its authors think it's a given that guys want to screw anyone who's marginally cool or interesting. (Or horrible and boring.)

See also: Six Punk Bands We Don't Need To Talk About Anymore

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The Six Best Male Dancers in Contemporary Rock

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YouTube screengrab, Radiohead's "Lotus Flower"
If Elvis Presley taught us anything, apart from a love for peanut butter and banana sandwiches, it is that white men can dance. His successors such as Iggy pop, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, and Axl Rose are just as iconic for their showmanship as they are their music. All of these frontmen shake, sway, and groove regardless of the tempo. It's exhilarating to watch.

For whatever reason, many male rock singers today just stand there and look glum, like they're bored or stuffed full of Xanax. So we're celebrating the top five male rockers that have the balls to cut loose, highlighting their technique, rhythm, and overall creativity along the way.

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Six Reasons Employers Should Hire Touring Musicians

Categories: Lists

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Incase/ Flickr
In 2014, you should've already figured it out by now: Your dumpy, forgettable band with few fans should be touring. The need to turn your local bar band into a mobile poverty-stricken disaster unit is of utmost importance. It's your chance to see beautiful rolling landscapes, fall in love with people you'll only talk to on the Internet and learn how to comfortably carry yourself onstage. Tour is where baby takes his first steps -- gaining a new, elevated perspective and examining the world with awe while still shitting his pants.

Literally.

See also: The Top 15 Things That Annoy the Crap Out of Your Local Sound Guy

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10 Terribly Sad Albums to Hear Before You Die

Categories: Lists

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We all love sad music. We love it when there is something about sad music we can relate to through our own sad personal life experiences. It is pleasant to listen to a song about heartbreak when your heart is broken. It is also pleasant to listen to a song about heartbreak when your heart is not broken, but when it has been broken in the past, and you can recall that sad feeling through a sad song. We even enjoy it when the sadness of a particular song is a type of sadness we have never personally experienced, because we can put ourselves in other people's shoes and temporarily enjoy their sadness. There are many different modes of sadness and many different modes of sad music. But these are 10 terribly sad albums you should listen to before you die.

See also: Ten Metal Albums to Hear Before You Die

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Ten Out-Music Carol Covers: A Very Avant-Garde Christmas

Categories: Lists

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'Tis the season, as they say, to make merry -- to spike and quaff egg nog, to unearth crates of broken ornaments, to wrap overpriced boxed sets in radioactive tinsel. It is also the season, unfortunately, to suffer through traditional and more recent versions of Christmas carols you were already sick and tired of way before puberty.

With that in mind, Sound of the City is proud to present a brief survey of some unusually discordant and avant-garde versions of yuletide standards -- and fellow-traveler originals -- that are guaranteed to alienate everybody in your family into clearing out early. Just think: You'll have all the Heavenly Ham and pumpkin pie to yourself. Our list of jams appears after the jump.

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Six Nu-Metal Bands You Shouldn't Be Ashamed to Like

Categories: Lists, Metal

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It is OK to admit that you like System of a Down. Just admit it.
There's a lot of bad music out there, and at the end of the day, the most reviled and defenseless genre of all is nu-metal. Too whiny to be intimidating and too dumb to be complimented on its wimpiness, nu-metal is generally not much more than a relic of the '90s and early '00s that we're all still trying to forget. It's hard to get people to take you seriously when they find out that you genuinely enjoy the stylings of greaseballs with seven-string guitars. Believe it or not, though, some of these oft-maligned acts actually have some talent, and are worthy of a little appreciation. In keeping, we've produced a modest-size list to encourage people to get down with the sickness*.

*Note: Disturbed is not a nu-metal band you should ever admit to enjoying.

See also: Morrissey on His Hatred of "Cell Phone Nation," His Skin of "Perished Rubber," and Why He Loves System of a Down

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Which Female Country Star is Your Favorite Rapper?

Categories: Lists

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Earlier this month Phonte dropped much knowledge about which rappers correspond to which classic television shows. To wit: Jay is The Wire; Nas is Breaking Bad; Kanye is Lost; East Bound and Down is Action Bronson, etc. etc. It's a fun game, and anyone who thinks too much about hip-hop has definitely tried their hand at playing in some form or other. Here, we compare rappers to female country stars. Because why not? GO!

See also: The Fightin' Side of Merle: At Last, a Critical Study of Country's Prickly Great

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Hanson Brew a Beer Called MmmHops

Categories: Lists

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This month, lovers of beer and irony everywhere have been thoroughly enjoying the fact that everyone's weirdest kid band, Hanson, have not only grown up, come of age and started playing music again, but they've also launched their own beer--and it's called Mmmhops (see what they did there?). In light of that, as well as the trio's return to Irving Plaza on yesterday and today--and the release of new album Anthem this week--we're pretty sure Hanson feel like celebrating. Here are some other lines of musician-related booze the band could raise a glass with.

See also: The A$AP Rocky Drinking Game

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The Best Dipset Songs Ever

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Three The Hard Way (pause)
Time flies especially when one of your aliases is "The Fly Boys." It's been 10 years since the Cam'ron, Jim Jones, Juelz Santana and the rest of that "hooligan gang" the Diplomats (a collective of Harlem hustlers and goons) released their double disc effort, Diplomatic Immunity. Since then they've gone through more then their fair share of label drama, beefs, break ups and make ups. To celebrate the fact that they were able survive the turbulent rap game, they are commemorating the 10 year anniversary of Diplomatic Immunity with a concert tonight at B.B. King.

Of course such an event deserves some shine so we compiled a list of their best songs as a group. No solo spots, just songs where at least two of the three star players rocked out together. Say it with us now... DIP SET! DIP SET! DIP SET! Owwwwwww!

See also: Live: Dipset Brings Pandemonium To The Best Buy Theater

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The 11 Best Fictional Bands of All Time

Categories: Lists

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Who the hell needs real bands when there are so many great fictional ones? Here's some of the best -- our list goes to 11, of course:

See also: Top 10 Concert Films to See Before You Die

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