Please enjoy this year's Juggomercial. It's 27:03 minutes long, less than an hour old, and takes place in a spaceship traveling to planet "earf." It is allegedly here to inform the world that wrestlers like Rowdy Roddy Piper and King Kong Bundy will be doing stand-up at the Gathering of the Juggalos, along with actual funny people Brian Posehn and Jimmie "JJ" Walker. There will also be midway games "ran [sic] by real low-life carny scrubs that just want your cash" and "dangerous" helicopter rides maneuvered by a "presumably drunk pilot." So far, no Charlie Sheen. It doesn't matter who else is booked, except maybe Ice Cube. Lastly, "If you have a problem with Juggalos, you can stay home, sitting on your dumb bitch-ass." And I quote.

Wouldn't we all.

The Internet would be a very dreary place without the exuberantly goofy antics of Andrew Wilkes-Krier. But today Andrew W.K. isn't confessing that he accidentally wet himself, or admitting that he's been the target of a restraining order, or talking about vomiting. Instead, his most recent bout of ludicrous public behavior is that the Santos Party House co-owner is hiding gifts around the city and telling his Twitter followers where to find them. Like, just an hour ago, an Andrew WK air freshener was "hidden" on a Bedford Avenue corner. Act quickly and "the scent of a party" can be all yours:

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The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos begins tomorrow. There are over 100 performers booked for this event. They all lead up to one thing. . . the headlining onslaught of Insane Clown Posse.

There is already an entire Internet full of jokes here. You do not need me. Instead, let us simply consider the facts.

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Kanye's teeth next to Steven Holme's former profile pic. Coincidence? We think not.

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Kanye West joined Twitter last week. Elaborate Web Shenanigans ensued. Here are our favorites.

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​It's not the first billboard Sean Combs has been on, nor the largest, but Diddy will still hop out of his car at a red light to pose in front of a picture of himself--twenty years in the game or no twenty years in the game. Inspirational! [@iamdiddy]

​Surely you recall Victory or Death, the massive RZA-helmed tribute to Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze's George Washington Crossing the Potomac painting, except with Wu-Tang members and hidden ninjas and a website that plays a remix of "O Fortuna" at swelling volume? Well our pals at the LA Weekly had the bright idea of asking the rapper how he got himself into that George Washington suit he sports so ardently on the bow of that canoe:

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​Um, 80" by 60", 50 hidden elements per canvas, an original acrylic handprint straight from the palm of the RZA, a Wu-Tang flag, and a website that plays a remix of "O Fortuna" at swelling volume as a camera zooms in and out on the details. Part of a greater project called the Monument Series. Limited to 360. Reserve now! [h/t @vultureblog]

Photo via a picture set in which none are left unincriminated.

​2009 Opening Ceremony Max Jumpsuit or 1994 Northface Bubble Goose?

You decide.

Das Racist + Spiderfang: "Pink Polo Shorts"

​OK, let's give this a shot--on Wednesday, at an undisclosed NYC location, presumably an undisclosed basketball location, there will be a three-on-three tournament in which it seems probable that these acts over here on the left will actually participate, like they'll play, using basketballs, and Jim Jones will dunk on Asher Roth, and then Diplo will cross Matt & Kim up. The Mad Decent squad will apparently also contain most of POPO and Philly promoter extraordinaire Sean Agnew; no word yet on who Fool's Gold will be suiting up. Of all the strange and bizarre corporate sell-out gigs and Diesel Jeans secret pregnant M.I.A. shows and ultra-sponsored Fader Forts and Rachel Ray SXSW showcases and all the other things dreamed up by the downy well-plaided elves who work in the marketing departments of places like Converse, this has the potential to be the best one ever that didn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to make happen. Anyway, email Mad Decent to find out where the thing is. Or just zero in on that bewildered sound you'll hear echoing around Manhattan come Wednesday at noon.

Not that we'll point you anywhere in particular to find it, but the Black Eyed Peas' new The E.N.D. has very much leaked onto the internet, in a blaze of bar mitzvah jams ("I Gotta Feeling" is gonna own), randomly French rave synths ("Ed Banger compilation Volume 3," said one friend yesterday), goofy Century 3000 jock jams, maddening ringtone rap (uh, "Ring-a-Ling"), and a song called "Electric City," on which Fergie rhymes "dildo" with "do re mi fa so la ti do." Seriously. Skip CNN-hologram jam "One Tribe" and you'll do better than fine.