The Best Noise Music in January: Ade Hodges, EON, Limbs Bin

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[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings doggedly tracks down the best noise music of the past month.]

Why try to talk or think about anything else right now besides the weather? It's damned cold out there. With one blizzard come and gone and another right on its heels, if you're savvy, you've already stocked up on liquor, ramen, and Orange Crush. Why not let us help load your iPhone with the ultimate in walking-dazed-in-a-winter-wonderland and kickass snow-shoveling music?

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The Best Noise Music in 2014: The Year's Top 36 Noise Cuts

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Mesa Ritual
Here and now we arrive, whole but not necessarily unscathed, at the end of a very, very heavy year. The sounds cataloged below feel representative of the lowest psychic lows 2014 had to offer and the highest heights we were elevated to. As ever, anybody complaining that our modern era is lacking in exciting, adventurous music simply isn't looking hard enough. Dig in, and better yet, jam all this noise concurrently -- because, after all, you can.

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The Best Noise Music in November: Anne-F Jacques and Jailblazer

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[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the past month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

The number of tracks and albums I've treated in this space has certainly fluctuated over the past year, but for December, I'm boiling things down to five releases.

Why? A couple reasons.

First, we're already in the thick of the end-of-annum glut of lists, where a handful of under-appreciated musical gems get their moment in the sun but mostly it becomes newly apparent that, in the aggregate, music critics' collective taste sucks.

Second, by now you've got way better things to do -- holiday shopping, winterizing home/car, burning Ikea furniture for heat -- than to power through 10 or 12 noise LPs online. No, it's cool. I know you're not vibing to Whitehouse or whatever over dinner; from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day, that shit is straight tabled in favor of the Andrea Bocelli Christmas album.

Third, five is the number of fingers most of us have on each hand, and each hand has a glove on it. A few freakishly warm days aside, this has been a cold, blustery month, and it's bound to get worse before it gets better.

So, this month: the bare essentials to see you through snowstorms and traffic jams and long department store lines and leftover Thanksgiving turkey. Because does anybody even like turkey?

Even a little bit?

Nah.


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The Best Noise Music in October: 'A Blizzard of Scissors'

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Rene Kita
[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

October is an odd month. There is both the fiercely festive pageantry of holidays present (Halloween) and distant (Thanksgiving, Christmas) and the crushing depression that accompanies shorter days and plummeting temperatures; the astonishing vibrancy of the changing foliage and the annoyance of frosted car windows just after dawn; the mystic aroma of smoke from the woodstoves of strangers, and the high likelihood of catching the flu, or inadvertently passing it along to a loved one. The distinct sense of things ending, winding down. This month's selections are intended as a soundtrack to this complicated, highly personalized admixture of excitement and dread.

See also: The Best Noise Music in September: Eric Copeland, Bloodeath

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The Best Noise Music in September: Eric Copeland, Bloodeath

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[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

The buzz of the fan, the mumble of the air conditioner, the numbing hum of central air: no more, no more. That's over, people. It's autumn now, and it's getting cooler. Not cold, mind. When it's cold there's the baseboard heat or the plug-in heater to turn to, and those appliances generate some pleasant ambient noise. But for now we're in between consumer electronic drones, which means we're in the season where we're forced to willfully pollute our surroundings. Don't make that face; as if you weren't doing that already.

See also: The Best Noise Music in August: Springsteen Shitshower, Bryan Eubanks, Pagan Cops

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The Best Noise Music in August: Springsteen Shitshower, Bryan Eubanks, Pagan Cops

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[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

There's no pleasant way to say this, so I'll just say it: if I didn't know better, I'd swear there's rotting a corpse in the dumpster behind my apartment building. Two likely culprits are to blame - the college kids swarming the 'hood now that school's back in session and the out-of-nowhere high temperatures scorching the small town I live in. Probably not a corpse; probably just raw chicken or something, but when I'm downwind from that dumpster, the stench leaps out and smacks me around a little. Very rude, very brusque, very noise. For some reason I've never invested in stereo speakers. Maybe, now, it's finally time. Here's a taste of some of what I'll blast, once I finally do.

See also: The Best Noise Music in July: "Liberace Regaling Ghouls in a Mausoleum"


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The Best Noise Music in July: "Liberace Regaling Ghouls in a Mausoleum"

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Like this, only with ghouls.
[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

See also: The Best Noise Music in June: York Factory Complaint and Maurizio Bianchi

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The Best Noise Music in June: York Factory Complaint and Maurizio Bianchi

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Maurizio Bianchi
[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

Be careful what you ask for; you just might get it. In this case, it's heat, humidity, flop sweat, daisy chains of gnats, and everything else that comes along with warm weather in the northeastern United States. Seems like just yesterday that I was complaining, in this space about the endless winter and the drenching spring, all of which seems rather foolhardy now, in retrospect. Everything already feels gritty, sticky, and vaguely feverish in a nightmarish way, and we haven't even made it past Independence Day yet; the inferno of August awaits us, radiating menace.

Gonna be a long, hot American summer.

Maybe all of this helps explain the sounds I gravitated to this month: grim, grinding black holes of skuzz rock, mind-liquifying drone, shuddering loops that are the wordless underground, spiritual antithesis of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club epic "Stop." It's as though the heat encircles and thrives on these particular sounds, amplifying them, getting off on them. Grab yourself a frozen water bottle, turn up the AC, and belly-flop on in.

See also: The Best Noise Music in May: Diaphragmatic and Josh Millrod/Shingles

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The Best Noise Music in May: Diaphragmatic and Josh Millrod/Shingles

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Diaphragmatic

[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

Earlier this month, I attended the 2014 Ende Tymes Festival in Brooklyn and overdosed on a shitload of noise. I also bought a bunch of CDs and cassettes, most of which were mind-blowing -- and for this month's column, I'll focus on my favorites from those sundry merch-table scores.

See also: Highlights From Ende Tymes Festival 2014


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The Best Noise Music in April: The Devil and Shredded Nerve

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[Ed. Note: In Please Enjoy Responsibly, columnist Raymond Cummings tracks down the best noise music of the month, while keeping an eye out for the best of recent months and saluting noise triumphs of yesteryear.]

No more bullshit, no more half-stepping: Spring has sprung. People are dressing horribly and everyone queues up for milkshakes. Cruising the strip is suddenly hip again. Festival season dominates. Life feels equally full of doom and possibility; there's a lot of laughter, idle talk.

Perhaps you'd appreciate a few recommendations as to what to blast -- treble up, windows down -- while cruising the strip or hiding in your apartment. Yes, we thought you might.

See also: The Month in Noise: Condom Sex and DJ Dog Dick

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